How to approach the girl I'm dating for sex?

[TKCerbs]

I've been dating my gf for 3 months now, neither of us are virgins (or even close to, both have been in at least 2 serious relationships, and several shorter ones). But I find that she doesn't seem interested in crawling all over me. I asked her about it a month in and she told me to "be patient,I will come to you when I am ready". Its been 2 months since that conversation and other than kissing (usually just before we finish hanging out), she won't let me get anywhere with her. So now I want to bring it up without sounding like its all I want (because it isn't, I do genuinely like the girl, I just also want things to move forward physically).

Details:
I'm 26, shes 23
We see each other 2-3 times a week
I have tried, but I haven't pushed her, she has let me get up her shirt a couple of times, but nothing further.

[VincenzoG91]

You should have followed the third date rule. Now it's awkward because you have put so much time into this relationship and it isn't going anywhere. Try getting her drunk to see if that will lower her inhibitions. Otherwise, you might want to consider moving on.

[CAM]

In today's world, women lead. If she wants then she'll take the initiative. I've never gotten it because of anything I've done. Usually, whomever it is just takes her clothes off.

[vashti]

I don't buy into the "3 date rule", but if 3 months have gone by, and you aren't any closer to having sex with her, my guess is that her sex drive is very low. You should be concerned about that if you like to have sex.

[Boisdevie]

Sounds like it ain't gonna work. She is either:
Frigid or
Not turned on by you

In either case the long term prognosis is not good. Still only at the kissing stage after 3 months at your age - a bit wierd

[warriormaiden]

Sounds like she's not turned on by you, but finds you sweet and so is settling with that.

[luckyjtime]

what is the 3 date rule? sex should follow on the 3rd?

[VincenzoG91]

what is the 3 date rule? sex should follow on the 3rd?

The standard third date rule is that there should be sex by the third date, or else there shouldn't be a fourth date. I'm willing to bend the rule if I am otherwise really happy with the first three dates despite the lack of sex.

[Cinnabella]

Bull shit, so dating is just for sex? How aboit some girls don't want sex before marry?

[Yet another guy]

They'll have to find a guy who doesn't like sex either.

[Dune]

I'd go with warriormaiden.. She doesn't sound like she hungers to be ravaged by you. Don't know that it matters, but she may/may not be comparing you to her previous guys? If so, she could be judging your skill level before she takes it to the next level.

My advice? Don't act like you need/want it.. Neediness turns women off. When she drops a hint (eg. she wants you to touch her), perform with confidence but not overly-pleasing. And just towards the end, leave her slightly wanting more by not satisfying her fully. Don't do that too often though as it could lead to her frustration.

And like she said, if she wants to, she'll let you know. If she's not wanting it, sad to say, she might not be that interested. However, do take into account her hormones. Certain days of the menstrual cycle, women just feel higher. Here's a hint - 14/15 days from her last period are the 'horny days' of ovulation.

PS. Have you considered that she may be sexually hurt from her previous relationships? Just pointing that there could be a possibility of a 'traumatic' event

[VincenzoG91]

Bull shit, so dating is just for sex? How aboit some girls don't want sex before marry?

Not my type. I would never buy a car without a test drive, and I would never marry a woman without having sex with her first. Any woman who is willing to go that long without sex probably doesn't have much interest in sex anyway, so that marriage would be hell for me.

[vashti]

Not my type. I would never buy a car without a test drive, and I would never marry a woman without having sex with her first. Any woman who is willing to go that long without sex probably doesn't have much interest in sex anyway, so that marriage would be hell for me.

These new "rules" freak me out. I just don't always work that fast. Three dates in, and I am usually still trying to decide if I am willing to tolerate his baggage or not. If I had sex with every man who asked me out by the third date, I'd be the neighborhood booty call. And trust me, I am interested in sex. Just not the booty call thing.

[DoesntMatter]

And trust me, I am interested in sex. Just not the booty call thing.

Why not? Now that you are single again why not enjoy it? Besides you'd probably be a pretty fun booty call

[VincenzoG91]

These new "rules" freak me out. I just don't always work that fast. Three dates in, and I am usually still trying to decide if I am willing to tolerate his baggage or not. If I had sex with every man who asked me out by the third date, I'd be the neighborhood booty call. And trust me, I am interested in sex. Just not the booty call thing.

When I said "any woman willing to go that long without sex," I was referring to Cinnabella's question about women who want to wait until marriage. That's too long to wait, and probably leads to some bad marriages.

I can understand a woman not wanting to have sex by the third date, and if everything else is great, I'm willing to wait too. But I've been on a lot more first dates than third dates, so by the third date, there should be some indication of how things are going. In my own personal experience, most of the women who still weren't ready to have sex with me by the third date never had sex with me. So I'm not willing to waste time or money after that point unless I otherwise have a good feeling about her.