I slept with my ex...

[thatgothicchick]

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago, because he told me he has issues and wasn't ready to carry on a relationship. (he went through a divorce a few years before we started dating) I hung out with him at a mutual friend's birthday the other day...I acted very casual around him, and he did the same. Afterwords, we ended up spending the rest of the night together, talking about the problems outside of our relationship we had been going through since our breakup. He finally said, "Okay, you're coming home with me. You need a break." And so I ended up back at his place...we talked more that night, never going into the relationship we had previously had, other than him apologizing again for breaking up with me...He was very affectionate with me, and even gave me a massage. I slept in his bed that night, and he held me close to him in a bearhug all night, being very affectionate with me, stroking my arm/thighs and whatnot...the next morning, he made me breakfast, and eventually we ended up back in bed again, because we were still tired...and then we let ourselves go...at the time, I just didn't care, and let my passion for him take over. We showered together afterwords, and he kissed me a couple times when we were in there...I went with him to his parents house later that day for dinner, but again, very casual...on our way home, he told me he was sorry things got the way they had earlier in the day, and he told me, "I can't think of anyone I'd rather do it with."...and he was talking about how he's getting close to figuring stuff out, but isn't quite there yet...I don't know if he was talking about being in a relationship or not...

Now, I knew going in it probably wasn't going to be the beginning of a new romance...I hoped, and hoped though...

I know it was just more than likely just a casual thing. But it's not like I was a cold, 'bootycall', because he's not that kind of a guy...but I still feel regret for doing it. And I want to tell him that. I want to tell him, "I shouldn't have done that, because I still have feelings for you."...but I don't know if I SHOULD. I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I don't quite know how to go about this, or if I should...I still want to be with him, but I am 95% sure he doesn't...

What do you all think?

[NytNrs&Mmartist]

Congrats on the sex...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell him over the phone that you don't want to see him anymore unless he wants to continue the relationship.

[smackie9]

Enjoy the sex and leave the hope of a relationship behind because sex is all you are going to get out of this.

[bloodtippedrose]

Men are always affectionate when they're trying to get sex. Even guys that 'arent that type'. They don't mean to hurt us but they're horny and "confused", and its much easier for them to let it go when they aren't the ones with feelings. Continuing to see him will only hurt you further, you'll just keep reliving feelings that you've been trying to let go of for the past few months. What you saw as sweet and passionate, he probably just saw as..sex.

You'll have to talk to him so you can both be on the same page. Did he think the other night was just casual-between-friends kind of sex? Or a one-time thing? Or (what it most sounds like) the start of friends-with-benefits? Or maybe there is an off-chance he is feeling regret for letting you go? Misses you? Misses passion with anyone?

If there is no chance of the relationship rekindling then the most healthy thing for you to do is back off what didn't work out in the first place and rid yourself of everything HIM to help move on. Unfortunately this is much easier said then done when you're in the delirious stage of a breakup.

[devonbrown]

You have to protect your own heart here, don't expect him to do it for you. And don't try to protect his heart, that's his job.

Understand where you are (i.e. not in a relationship with him), and accept the fact that you are friends (maybe with benefits if you two decide to go at it again).

The last thing to do is regret anything. Regret is such a worthless and wasteful emotion.

I wouldn't bring it up unless he does. Just enjoy your time. And enjoy your life. With him or without him.

Good luck.