This new relationship is going nowhere...

[Isotopes]

Hi,

I'm french, english is not my first - I'm sorry for the mistakes.

I met this american woman (she's 23, I'm 24), like a month ago. We had around 10 dates. We kissed, held hands, etc... I'm not in love but I like her and I thought that could more than a flirt. Well it could be the beginning of a long term relationship. We spent almost a week together doing lots of stuffs (going to an expo, picnic, bars, restaurants...) then she went out of town for a week of vacation with her family.

We haven't had much conversation since then except few texts. When I said "hi sweetheart...", she texted back "I'm not your sweetheart " (I've already made a topic about that).
This week she texted me "When do we meet up this week?" I suggested two dates. The first one she couldn't make it because of school, the second is weirder she said "I can't because I'm going out with friends" (wow. I thought I was at least a friend). I dunno why she said that because I told her "it's gonna be hard for this week end because I'm helping a friend of mine - I've told this friend like 6 months ago and I can't cancel but I can make it on saturday evening)."

Then I said well maybe we could wait next week (so it's gonna be like 3 weeks since we last met !!) but meanwhile we could exchange emails because I'd like to keep on our french-english conversation (she's trying to get better in french while I'm doing the same with english), so I asked for her email and she didn't reply, she avoided it.

Few things bother me about her which leads to the conclusion that this relationship is going nowhere since she seems to be clearly uninterested :

-she takes like 2 to 3 days to answer my texts.
-she doesn't answer my calls (I've tried only 3 or 4 times in 2 weeks).
-I just feel like she is not interested... I dunno. She asked few times "when do we see each other again?" but other than that I feel like she's just using me as a plan B or something when she doesn't know what to do. I have a pretty busy life so I don't act a s a needy guy but I have this gut feel that "something is wrong with her".
-I'm not on facebook but I've googled her name and found her photo on her facebook profile and one day it was her and an other guy drinking a beer... the next day the photo was different. She told me that she had boyfriends (friends who happen to be boys... I thought I was her boyfriend after we started kissing and seeing each other the week we spent together).
-Everytime I'm the one who pays (restaurants, coffee etc)... I tried to tell her that maybe we could share the bill but she was avoiding that.

Anyway I feel like I've been used and I don't know what to do with this relationship. I like this girl. We share many interests and it's rare to find that for me. We laugh a lot together and we can have meaningful discussions too.
But I feel like I'm investing too much time, energy in it and I don't think she feels anything.

I don't know what to do, stop texting, calling etc... or giving her a last date and have a clear discussion about "our" relationship?

What could I do to raise the interest that she has for me? I think I'm a pretty interesting guy and I'm sure she's aware of that but what could I do to make her want me?

Should I just stop this relationship ? Somehow I feel this is going nowhere and I'm wasting my time and I'm suffering.

Please help !

[wolfie91]

She may be anxious, and waiting to gauge your reaction. If she feels like she is doing the pursuing, she may be getting insecure, even if you both have legitimate excuses for not being able to meet up. It sounds like your face-to-face chemistry is very good, so I would try and meet up with her ASAP, even if that means working around other plans. Otherwise she will lose interest.

[ShellyZ]

Are you her boyfriend, or did you just make the assumption that you are? If you want to be in an exclusive relationship with her, you need to tell her that. Otherwise she might not realize that you think of her as your girlfriend.

[Isotopes]

I'm making the assumption... We didn't have the chance to talk about that yet since we haven't met in 2 weeks and I'm not going to talk/ask/discuss about that in a text.
Yeah I have to talk about that in the near future. I mean if there's another date.