Am I selfish or just picky?

[Chiisana_oota]

ok, this is how it's happen. let talk about me, and so I'm ugly and sometimes can be a little bitchy and a complete control freak. somehow i desperately need a boyfriend, and i know myself is quite demanding. like i said "bitchy", feel like i wanted everything. I realised that and i don't care.

so, I pray for god that let send me a godly gift. a boyfriend and said desperately, " i will accept a any guy, as long as he love me and take care of me well." no matter how he look i will just accept him, sounded cheap, i know.. however my wish do come true and a guy did like me but he happens to be 5 times fatter than me with dark skin. he is quite nice. i can't say that he is cute even thought im a chubby chaser. well, depends.. some chubby guy can be really sweet and cute but this guy, no matter how hard i try to like him i just can't. his disturbing features just annoys me. especially this two buck teeth and the thick lip, and that is just horrifies me. So, i complaining at his appearance even though he is a nice guy. it's obvious of me to be branded as "selfish".

the point is, i know myself for being selfish that i'm being picky, a bitch and cruel. i know that because it's just no matter how hard i try to like him it's just make me hate him more. i already show the signs i dont like him and he still keep doing it. he still say that he like me which i hate it. is like, god have given me the wrong guy and at the same time my frens telling me that beggar cant be chosers. BUT, he is just NOT MY TYPE!!!

how am i going to like him if i keep focusing his 2 buck teeth and that damn thick lips. i know he is nice but it makes my hair stand eveytime i imagining me with him. is not like i'm aiming for hot guys or cute guys. I know i have to look at his inner beauty, the word "selfish" keep flashing in my mind.

question is.. am i just plain bitchy, selfish, picky, desperate? or just plain idiot?

please give me some feedback, i actually feel very say about this. picky and selfish at the same time. actually, i dun have the need to see him anymore since i have change my job. this happens when i meet him at work, he is a commis and i'm a trainee in a chinese kitchen. if someone say that i should give him another chance, i will say 100% NO to it. because, i've tried. nothing is working, he's just not my type.

[Cain]

He's gotta be a damn monster when a fat, ugly girl isn't even interested.

[Chiisana_oota]

haha.. yup, just cant stop thinking of his fat lip and that 2 buck teeth.

[Cain]

Then don't talk to him anymore. Not a big deal.

[devonbrown]

If you aren't attracted to him, then a romance is unlikely. You could just become good friends with him.

At the same time, looks are overrated. You could be with the most gorgeous person in the world, and in time you will start to forget about their looks and focus on the important things, like their personality and heart.
But looks are important for an initial attraction, so there is not much to do in this case. But it does mean you are all that you described, including superficial.

[sadie_genie]

Does he have any redeeming qualities he can contribute to society? For example, intelligence or working ethics. And do YOU have any redeeming qualities? If it is no to both questions, you two should not be breeding at all.

[HeartIsAching]

I think you're confused. Believe it or not, there's somebody out there for you. Be patient, and don't settle too quickly - the repercussions from that can be horrible and last far longer than you'd believe possible.

[girl68]

You're desperate. Having a bf isn't going to cure whatever it is you think you want cured.

[LoveBack]

First of all, I think you should change a bit of your own thinking. It is nothing wrong if you are not pretty nor skinny, as there must be someone will think that you are pretty and sweet. If you have so much bad comments in yourself, how could you expect someone will fall in love with you? Try to take a step back and fall in love into yourself first... because honestly, even a handsome cool guy appear in front of you right now, you will still doubt that why he will be interested in you.

Well, forget that guy as you know that he is not your type, and just tell him straight that he is not your type! Don't waste your time on struggling with his appearance anymore...