Cheated but at the same time not cheated ?!!! :(

[justme78783]

Hey guys and girls , i am here because i would apreciate your help in a matter which is very sensitive for me .

Me and my girlfriend are already 7 months together , but i just learned some things which are really haunting my nights .

I met my girl this summer in an island here in greece , where i was also for holidays . We were only like 3 days 'together' because i had to get back to my routine . But she did stay like 3 more weeks there .

Anywayz long story made short , i just learned after seeing some facebook photos (and made her tell me the truth )that 2-3 days after i went from there , she started having sex with a guy and that they were together(aproximately 3 weeks)until she went from there to come and visit me .

In the meantime we were textmessaging and phonecalling each other , and then she decided that she would come and visit me again .

But this fact is haunting my nights now that i learned all the truth for these reasons :

1) First she was acting like a sl*t
2) She was having unprotected sex with that guy and then she did the same with me ( i had a right to know)
3) I just saw that that guy did a facebook account just to be in contact with her (back then)
4)She was with him 3 weeks !!!

Now i really cant trust her , and all she says is that back then we were not together (which is partly true) and she regrets .

In these 7 months that we are together she has been an amazing girlfriend and has given me no right to blame her for anything .

But it is killing inside me , imagining just the picture of him and her having sex after i was with her just makes me so sad and desperate .

What should i do ? Should i dump her , should i overcome this ? How should i react ?!

Please i need your help .

Thanks in advance ,

[reeba]

So she hooked up with a local boy (you) while on vacation for 3 days, and then when you had to get back to work, she went out and found someone else to hookup with for the remainder of her vacation.

You weren't complaining when she was acting like a 'slut' with you for those 3 days. Why does it surprise you that after you left, she continued to act like a 'slut'.

You didn't seem to mind that some random girl that you just met would have have unprotected sex with you. Why does it surprise you that after you left, she continued to have unprotected sex with some other random guy?

Personally, no I would not trust her. I bet she is doing exact same back home in Sweden. It isn't like Sweden frowns upon such behavior, so nothing prohibiting her from continuing to randomly hookup.

[Cerby]

All this plus the fact you live so so far apart. I usually try to help people find a better way then saying "Just end it". But if you don't trust her, you don't trust her, and if this is the case, you need to let the heartache slip away and just move on.

[justme78783]

well as for your 2 first paragraphs you have a point . But i am 100% certain that she is not doing anything with another guy ( i know this might sound a bit crazy but we are sleeping every night together with the web cams open ) . I know that almost all foreign girls get crazy when coming here in greece , so thats what comforts me a bit .

When i did leave after 3 days she started crying , and she was the first one to initiate contact with me . The first time i went to sweden she made me met her parents , and she is really serious about our relationship . We have plans in living together once i finish my university . So what i am trying to say is that this is deffinetely a serious relationship we have .

What my problem is , that now i feel cheated , because although we were not together at that time ( and actually both of us thought that we would not meet each other again ) the image of him and her having sex is leaving me sleepless . Is literally tormenting me .

When i did ask her about this , she started apologizing and said that what she did was in the past and she regrets it and that we were not together . She simply says she cannot change the past .

But now i dont know ?! I mean she was a complete slut when on holidays . I saw her worst side , and i dont know if i should trust her . And even if i trust her ( which to be honest i dont know ) , i am having a big deal to accept that someone else was touching her and kissing her and even wrost f****** .

She is really geniounly in love with me ... otherwise why would she come 3 times here in greece to meet me ? Why would she meet me her parents and her friends ?! Why would she continue our relationship of 3000kms+ when she would easily find a lot of other guys ?!

I dont know what my problem is . After this something is not right ... Maybe she is regreting what she did , but even so how can i overpass the 'cheated' feeling that i have now ? I mean i want to get settled with this girl and i can see that she is really trying to proove to me that she loves me and that she would never hurt me ...

But even so , my other side is saying to me ... how can i get settled with a girl that 3 days after had sex with me , she had sex with another guy ?!

[justme78783]

All this plus the fact you live so so far apart. I usually try to help people find a better way then saying "Just end it". But if you don't trust her, you don't trust her, and if this is the case, you need to let the heartache slip away and just move on.

well distance is not a big deal . We are spending more time together that other couples that are not in a long distance relationship . I mean we are sleeping together with the webcams open , so we are like 10 hours every day . This whole summer we will be together and we are thinking to live together once i finish my university .