your what if's?

[lost4love]

Just a wonder really, sorry if its wrong part of forum but thought this was section it was best suited to.

Obviously many of us are over x's, some of us have new relationships, others still single but is there anything in the past relationship wise that your remember now and again?


For me it has to be this 1 girl. Im completely over her, have been for years. But she was my first proper girlfriend as such. We were quite young, I was 17 when I met her in a nightclub... she was 16 (just). Very very pretty girl (even my friends would say "lucky guy" when i was with her). We kissed and all seemed amazing with her. Previously I was a cannabis smoker (sadly), rarely, but I still did it and I ate super unhealthy. After meeting this girl I gave that in... instantly. I was not smoking a thing, was eating purely healthy foods, was going to the gym 3 times a week.

I could always remember we were sort of together in a relationship but were both young really and she certainly seemed to want to enjoy her life as best she could. I remember once I arranged to meet her in this club, I got there and she was sat in between 2 guys. I sat near them feeling down all night. Then they were almost trying to take advantage of her. Her sister could see it and called her parents to phone the girl and send her home. She left and I remember her throwing a lighter at me or something before storming out. I was doing it for her own good and it would only take a matter of years for her to realize it.

Contact was pretty brief for the next year or 2. We had our own bf's/gf's and barely kept contact. Then all of a sudden we started meeting up again as a weekly thing.

At that time I was something like 20/21 and she was 19/20. We would have a laugh and the main trouble this girl had was handling booze. She couldnt handle it well and would end up too drunk, then do things she normally wouldnt when sober... but I still stuck by her, looking after her, helping her out etc. A few times she would stay over, nothing happened but each time we were close to kissing and then something would happen to kill the moment (once we got back wasted and I remember she thought she had left her phone in town, we were just getting to cuddling up and she had to get a taxi to town to get her phone back, about 30 mins after she went and I had sobered up I noticed under my blanket on my bedroom floor was her phone ).

I can recall other times when I kinda didnt see the signs. For a moment it was my time to be a bit like she was years back with drink. Like when I would meet her and her friends. Often she would ask to come to a club with me so its just me and her. Clearly a sign but sometimes I didnt read it properly and would get proper drunk, then see her off in a taxi home or just go off somewhere in the club for a while and come back to see shes got sick of waiting and left.

For whatever reason the contact then stopped again for a while. Had the occasional drink with her as I was turning 22 but nothing like it used to be.

About 2 years ago she tried getting in touch with me via facebook and her message read something like "Hey, Just had to tell you how I feel, I know now how much you mean to me, you always were there for me, always treated me really well and I just hope we can talk and give us a go again now we are older and wiser".

The sad fact of the matter at that time was I was already taken. I would of loved to of tried again with her since it would of had a great head start and could of been something special, but I knew full well I couldnt just end my current relationship for the sake of something that was built on the past.

Another year passed and the relationship had long ended (mutual reasons, it wasnt working). I went onto facebook to message that girl to see if she fancied a drink.... her status was "in a relationship". Followed soon after by "engaged", then "married", and then she moved away overseas.


Could of been something good, wasnt meant to be so nothing to dwell on, but still its nice to sit and think some days what would of been if things had turned out differently