We've been together for 8 months. About 3 months ago, he got drunk and told me he loved me, but the morning after he took it back. Since then, I told him I loved him a couple of times but got no response. Recently I talked to him and told me straight :" I like you but I don't love you, and I don't know what my feelings will be in the future, maybe they will change" I started crying and said I can't be with someone that doesn't love me after 8 months, but then said ok, I'll wait..
Since then, he jokes about it like "she wants love"..and starts laughing which upsets me even more..
Is it normal for him not to have loving feelings for me after 8 months? Should I keep waiting?..And for how long until I give up?..
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07-05-11, 04:18 AM #1
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My bf said he didn't love me. What to do next?
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07-05-11, 04:31 AM #2
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Ugh, I'm in the exact same position as you are. Well, I'm not, because I haven't had the guts to ask him. But sure enough, 8 months, I love him and it would be nice if he loved me too. But he hasn't said it. And if I brought it up and he said he didn't.... well, I'd break it off. I've heard stories where people say "I love you" for the first time after a year or so, but have felt it before. And honestly, 8 months is a long time..
But first off, we need to make a distinction -LOVE or IN LOVE? I think love is something that steadily grows towards a person as you spend time with them, so that might very well take time. Yes, more than 8 months to truly know that you love that other person. But if I was with someone for 8 months who wasn't IN love with me?! The question remains, why would anyone do that??! Just out of convenience? Until someone better comes along? Not for me, thanks.
How is your relationship in other aspects?
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07-05-11, 04:37 AM #3
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I wouldnt put too much more time into a relationship where the love cannot be reciprocated. Im only a month and a half into my relationship and Im in love.. havent said it yet though... timing not right....But when i do say it.. if she does not feel the same way.. time to move on.... as sad as that sounds. My point is... you need to know when to fold your hand....
Last edited by DarkHelmet82; 07-05-11 at 04:45 AM.
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07-05-11, 07:10 AM #4
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How do you know if you are in love with someone only after a month and a half?!?!
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82
Even after 8 months?!?!
How does anyone know if s/he is in love or not?
What makes you think this is 'love'? What is it?!?!
I really don't know what 'in love' means
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07-05-11, 07:19 AM #5
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Ask how he feels about you. Tell him you are feeling somewhat under appreciated. See what pings.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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07-05-11, 10:08 AM #6
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because i just know.. simple as that Originally Posted by oneandonly
How do you know if you are in love with someone only after a month and a half?!?!
Even after 8 months?!?!
How does anyone know if s/he is in love or not?
What makes you think this is 'love'? What is it?!?!
I really don't know what 'in love' means
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07-05-11, 12:30 PM #7
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You need to leave him NOW. Not only does he not love you. He is being mean by making 'jokes' to show how much he does NOT love you.
Go out and find someone who is emotionally available for you.
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07-05-11, 12:33 PM #8
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maybe he really doesn't believe in the word "love"?
mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj
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07-05-11, 01:04 PM #9
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I agree, not everyone believes or needs to be completely in "love" to be happy with someone.
This reminds me of a professor I had in college. Her and her husband dated for 2 years before even KISSING, let alone saying I love you, etc. They ended up getting married and have been happy ever since.
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07-05-11, 02:48 PM #10
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He DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
Get the f... out of that "relationship"a.s.a.p.!
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07-05-11, 03:42 PM #11
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Making fun of you wanting love is just TOO ****ING MUCH!
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