need advice on lost love coming back into my life badly

[rcwood84]

i am having problems finding thorough answers that are useful.My friends advice hasnt been too helpful. I need some opinions from people who are dettached from the situation

my ex and i were together in 2008 and 2009. We had an intense connection. We broke up because we were holding back and afraid to get hurt again. We never officially broke up though & left things hanging. My dad was battling cancer and i was taking care of him. That affected me a lot.

I found out now my ex has returned to college to major in the career I am in. I found out because i saw her on campus from afar and in the college paper. My ex spent a lot of time at another college studying something else. A lso,my ex has taken up my hobbie of rock climbing recently, which i introduced her 2. The staff at my climbing gym randomly told me recently that they have seen my ex in there a lot since December. Mutual friends also say my ex has been oddly listening to a lot of my same music I do when she has not liked it before. She broke up with the person she began seeing after me in the last couple of months. She has seemingly started this new life. It sounds like I am still affecting her life in some way but im not certain. some say it could be coincidences but some have other interpretations, what am i to make of all this behavior from my ex? please help shed light?

also, i had texted my ex in December after seeing her from afar on campus. we chatted. said i missed rock climbing w/ her. she asked how ive been and i said my dad died a couple weeks ago. she did not respond. some say she was probly shocked and didnt know what to say. i was hurt. how do i interpret this?

she was the most beautiful girl i have ever met, inside and outside. i have never had such an intense connection with somebody. i never just sat for several hours glued to someone's lips like that. i have never been able to talk to someone about nothing for hours and be that content. we both got scared and pushed eachother away. that was the death of us. my dad dying taught me a lot. im ready to let love in now w/o fear. i saw her on campus and thought: i wish i could be close to her again and tell her everything i couldnt before.

i want to try and talk to my ex since ive been through a lot and matured a lot. I would like very much to resolve what we left hanging at the very least. Deep down, id like to be back together. i loved her so much & never got to tell her & feel like i want to tell her everything i couldnt back then. I'd also like to shed some light on why i acted the way i did. The semester is over. I wont see her until Fall semester but i dont want to wait..how should i go about this? email? text? talking on the phone is very difficult for me right now.


i can give more details if needed. i really just want to contact her as soon as i can to gain some sort of peace of mind.