Kinda hurtin bad here...

[Deflamare]

Uhh hi,
I suppose this is an attempt to reach out to just someone. To anyone who cares to listen, because, ATM i don't have many people i can trust... Anyways here is the situation:
There is this girl. A person that i have had feelings towards for over 2 years. The reason we didn't date earlier was due to the fact that she began dating my "best friend." I say that because to me a best friend is someone whom you can disclose everything and anything to and not have them judge or merely disregard. We were the type of friends who hung out a lot. Anyways, So we chilled together all of us for long time having fun and all and while i still had feelings for her I accepted the fact that she was dating him and took a reluctant step back away as it seemed the right thing to do.

They went out with each other for nearly a year and 10 months. It was a unhealthy relationship (He was controlling, and treated her like a slave, etc.) When they finally broke up i confessed my love for her. I told her i would wait for her, to give her time to get over him and tie any loose ends but she thought she was ready and agreed to go out with me. Well, a week together and everything was absolutely amazing. It was the happiest Ive been in my life. But, after that week she began acting strangely. She would get agitated easily, stressed quickly, and was glued to her phone. Just tonight i talked to her about what was wrong and she confessed that she likes me and wants to be with me, but, she still isn't over her ex. She asked me to give her time to sort out her feelings and attend to some issues before we can be together. We are graduating in nearly a week and we have made plans to move out into an apartment during the summer (We have been toying with the decision to move in together for months). She says she will come back and when does she will be emotional ready to have a stable and committed relationship. Because as of yesterday she was still thinking about her ex. I told her that i have waited 2 years and that a little more time wouldn't be that bad. But, i'm just worried. I'm gambling with my happiness and i'm hoping i won't get left out in the cold when it is all said and done.

I know this is more of a stream of conscious rant but I would like to hear your Guy's/Gal's opinions. In the end I know it is her decision, and to force her into an ultimatum would simply shove her away. I know i'm young and inexperience but its hard to picture myself with anyone else. All i want for her is to be happy. But, i think in doing so i am sacrificing my own self-respect.

Thanks,
Deflamare

[HelpMe22]

Well as you have know her for quite a long time . I believe you should trust her words , coz thats all you might have to go with . For me I'm a girl that tells truth to people that I care about weather it would hurt them or not . So hold on be positive . After getting outta of serious relationship u do need time to heal. So think positive !!!!! Hope isn't a bad thing to hold onto . Coz thats what I am doing now in a crisis I'm going through with the man in my life . Good luck .

[Deflamare]

Thank you! Yeah I do trust her. If you love something let it go and if it comes back its your yours right? I think I need to be strong. Not just for me, but, for us.

[devonbrown]

You already were thinking that she would need time to get over her ex before. Now she has realized that you were right. So give her the time she needs, but don't let that stop you from living your life, doing things you enjoy, etc. Who knows, maybe somebody else will come along for you while she is tying up loose ends...

Good luck.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I agree with devonbrown. Be open to the possibility that she will come back, but DON"T bank on it. Go out and chase as many girls as you possibly can until she does come back.

She definitely won't respect you as much if you just sit around and wait for her.

[deepika_16]

You should be happy that you know her so well. You said that she would need time to come out from her past and it was right. You should have faith in her because not only she is your girlfriend but also your friend since two years. So don't worry, give her some time and don't pressurize her. Mae her happy, take her out, talk to her about her feelings not as a boyfriend but as a true friend. Give her time and always be there for her. I'm sure this will help her to come over her past because i'm a girl and i can understand her feelings.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You should be happy that you know her so well. You said that she would need time to come out from her past and it was right. You should have faith in her because not only she is your girlfriend but also your friend since two years. So don't worry, give her some time and don't pressurize her. Mae her happy, take her out, talk to her about her feelings not as a boyfriend but as a true friend. Give her time and always be there for her. I'm sure this will help her to come over her past because i'm a girl and i can understand her feelings.

If you listen to this advice, you will certainly lose her respect and any shot at a real relationship. You will forever be her emotional tampon, pining over her in the friendzone, and you will deserve every second of it.

[Mathias]

If you listen to this advice, you will certainly lose her respect and any shot at a real relationship. You will forever be her emotional tampon, pining over her in the friendzone, and you will deserve every second of it.

Not sure I 100% agree here.

You can back away from this, give her the time she needs (and avoid being a rebound, which is good), and not get in the friend zone. Just don't talk to her until she's ready to make a decision. It's that simple.

[Deflamare]

I appreciate all of the help I'm receiving here. It truly is helping me. But, what I'm confused to is to what it is she truly wants from me. She wants to continue to hang out but not get intimate. I tried that today and she apparently picked up the idea that I don't even like her anymore. I'm not sure what she quite means by "space" if she wants to continue hanging out but not get serious about anything until her issues are attended to. I'm trying to figure out if she even truly likes me. Is she trying to maintain both relationships? Should I Chase other women? Idk I'm lost

[Aycee]

Hey, sorry to hear about what's going on.

Sometimes people needs to slow it down and have a bit more time to live their life to realize how they feel. I THINK she said she needs space because she's not really sure of what she wants due to her thinking about her ex so she probably would like to avoid leading you on which might be why she needs time. What you need to do is keep on living your life but slow it down with her, go do your daily activities and be yourself, don't reserve yourself because you might end up as a safety net/backup plan if you do. I might be wrong but that's what I think.

[HeartIsAching]

I appreciate all of the help I'm receiving here. It truly is helping me. But, what I'm confused to is to what it is she truly wants from me. She wants to continue to hang out but not get intimate. I tried that today and she apparently picked up the idea that I don't even like her anymore. I'm not sure what she quite means by "space" if she wants to continue hanging out but not get serious about anything until her issues are attended to. I'm trying to figure out if she even truly likes me. Is she trying to maintain both relationships? Should I Chase other women? Idk I'm lost

Try asking her. Speak to her directly about your concerns.