We moved too fast, she backs out...and I am lost here

[At_Wits_End]

The Basic Facts

This girl and I Went on a first date about two weeks ago. She got out of a messy divorce two years ago, but I did not care. Instantly, there was a mutual connection. I slept over her place the first night, and I could tell she didn't want to ruin anything, I moved first by just saying "don't worry, I do not plan on making any moves." I dd not want to pressure or ruin anything either. We stay up until the morning continuing seamless conversation. Then meet another two times during the following week (we had sex then).

She and I had one very important trait in common; we both were jaded with the dating scene and the opposite sex. However, we both could not stop talking to each other - almost in an adolescent naive way. It was actually refreshing. She spoke to her friends, parents, coworkers about me and I could not get enough of her. Yet, tried my best to reign in becoming too open too fast. She got annoyed that I wasn't initiating any statements like "I miss you" and "I am in shock with how I a around you." That is because I have learned lessons in the past with that sort of thing.

Then I made a real novice mistake - I told her I loved her. The fact is, I sincerely do. I am not one to say that to anyone, but she stated a few times "I am so happy with you", "My feelings are so overwhelmingly strong when am with you" ....that kind of thing. She did not say I love you back, and that didn't bother me - I told her as much. Two more days pass and no drastic changes.

The Problem

After recovering from a fever and still feeling a little ill and groggy. I went to her place for a quiet night together. Granted I was not feeling myself, but it seemed to go ok. As days go by I know she is backing off and losing interest, yet we all know to question her out on it is a set up, which would paint me a needy or clingy.

Finally I get an answer - well three different ones:
1. It is all too much
2. Moving fast and I have questions and concerns and
3. There was no connection on the Saturday night (when I last saw her) and that her gut tells he it wouldn't wok out.

I agreed, we move too quickly and we can take a more normal pace. But, things of course as always drop further to a stand still until I cave into the zone no guy wants to be in where I feel as if she is avoiding me and need to clear things up through, ughh yes, text.

Her change in demeanor was literally within 24 hours. Sooo....what is the deal? Another guy? Latent fears from hr ugly divorce two years back? Or, that her entire mentality shifted in an evening? And, is there any way I can salvage this? Truth is, I love the girl.

Be as brutally honest as you like - but spare any insults.

[surfhb]

No insults? You've got to be kidding! Who knows what's shes thinking.... This is a woman were talking about

Since your dumb ass is sooo much in love, why not ask her what's going on and if it can be salvaged

[At_Wits_End]

haha fair enough. That answer is logical, fair and honest and that is why I don't think it would work. What would you do if I asked that? "this guy just keeps onn and onnn it's so desperte and pathetic" would be my guess.

But, I appreciate the response. It couldn't hurt to try. Hell, if my dumb ass knew anything I wouldn't be aking.

[surfhb]

Dude! She already thinks you're desperate and pathetic! You said you loved her on the second date for gods sake!!!! Lol!!

Of course! There are better ways to achieve this. For me,I would stop contact all together and see if she calls. If so she's yours. If not, she is not or will ever be yours. The hard part is to get over the fact she may never call and hurt your ego...cuz that's exactly what's at stake here. You don't love this girl and you know it!!

Meanwhile, you need to find another girl. These crazy love thoughts you are having will transfer over to the new girl in an instant.

[At_Wits_End]

wow, such a manically violent response screams that someone must've had bad sleepovers with uncle nasty-fingers when they were young huh? Yikes.

Although the concept will forever remain illusive to one who thinks along those lines - the fact remains that I am, and have enough experience age to understand the difference between love and lust. Even addressing your presumptuous opinion gives me a rash.

So, instead use that vivid imagination to create a hypothetical that fits he same scenario. For instance, that good ol' uncle had too much JD one night an tells you that he no longer want to wrestle at night - even though you thought things were progressing on that front.

[surfhb]

Whatever Jackass! You somehow misread my post as an attack just as you mis-read signs from women. You asked for advice and I'm the only one giving your desperate ass any....have you noticed that?

Im not the one sitting around with my dick in hand wondering why a chick doesn't call me after I told her I loved her after 2 weeks. Hilarious!

[Mathias]

You Mosby'd the crap out of her.