Ladies opinions on male porn usage in relationships

[alexandraboo]

Any ladies have an opinion on boyfriends\partners porn usage?
Looking at naked women, and wanting to have sex with them to get off?
Why cant men have just one partner? Is it selfish that they say they "need" variety?

I need some ladies opinions here, so I know I am not alone in this. How can something that never matters before a relationship, hurt so much now?

[ShellyZ]

I don't see anything wrong with people in relationships looking at porn. Men can have just one partner...and they can look at porn at the same time. Porn is not another partner. It's only pictures; those pictures are not interacting with the people looking at them. People are allowed to have fantasies, you know. As long as those fantasies are only in his head, no harm done. You are still his one and only partner, no matter how much porn he looks at.

[IndigoGal]

I see no problem with porn either. As long as he's actually being physically and emotionally faithful, watching a movie or looking at some pictures is just a little fantasy.

[pisces25]

You will struggle to find a guy that doesn't watch porn. Trust me. Which is why us women have to just deal with it. Men are different to us biologically. In the animal world the male seeks out the most attractive women to breed with. He is with you coz he has a deeper connection with you.

[Klim]

I'm attracted to other girls, but I guess this could go for anyone:

I don't see a problem with a person in a relationship looking at porn.

It's like you're married to a comedian. Would that comedian say you couldn't watch other funny people performing? I doubt it.

That was probably a terrible analogy, but that's my opinion on this.

[alexandraboo]

You will struggle to find a guy that doesn't watch porn. Trust me. Which is why us women have to just deal with it. Men are different to us biologically. In the animal world the male seeks out the most attractive women to breed with. He is with you coz he has a deeper connection with you.

Wait are you saying he is only with me because he has a connection with me and not because he is attracted and thinks I am attractive? because I can tell you, I know I am not ugly, I am a very lucky girl to be as pretty as I am along with a great personality. And what is the most attractive woman to breed with? the fake blonde with a fake plastic air brushed body that society pushes on you for sex image? Look at the goddess for sex and love, she is curvy, natural. Not anerexic with fake boobs and a ass job.... Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. My boyfriend thinks I am beautiful, therefore I think I am going to accept this whole porn thing. He tells me all the time I am beautiful and pretty, and that he loves me. I should have no issues, its not like hes personally saying, you arent good enough for me, I am going to go look at hotter women because you dont please me. I just need to calm down about it and let it go.

[pisces25]

I meant he will look at other attractive women coz that is just what guys do. It is a compliment that he is with you coz it means he finds you attractive on ALL LEVELS, not just physically.
You need to stop worrying about these other women. They should have no impact or bearing on your life or relationship. You need to work on your own self-esteem issues and like my other post you need to have a mature discussion with your BF how this is making you feel. Yelling at him to not look at other women, no matter how fake you deem them to be, is not going to help your situation.

[surfhb]

Alexandra! You are awesome!!!!!! Tell your bf I said so!!!!

[alexandraboo]

Alexandra! You are awesome!!!!!! Tell your bf I said so!!!!

Aww thanks ill tell him hahah he will be like WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you to be on a relationship forum... he would think I was lame hahah

[alexandraboo]

I just think the whole porn thing is kind of viewing women as objects of sexual pleasure also. And forcing them to be how men think they should be sexually. Its kind of ridiculous if you think about it. I just think that there is a big excuse, the media portrays men as pigs hahah men who look at women and say, DAMN I wanna tap that asssss. Yet they know nothing about the woman, and probably havnt even seen her face before she turns around hahah.

[surfhb]

I say "damn I want to tap that ass" several times a day! I love my woman too. Men can separate love and lust easily. They aren't in the same ball park as far as we are concerned

Women are sex objects. They are also lovely, nuturing , meaniful and smart. Im just not thinking about that when I'm banging you doggie style and pulling your hair. Make sense?

Yes....porn is ridiculous. So are romance novels and the fact you buy hot dog buns in packs of six but hot dogs come in packs of eight. Life is ridiculous. Don't overthink it

[alexandraboo]

Yeah but I mean would you want your girlfriend to be like **** That guy is hott, omg I wish he would have sex with me, he turns me on so much. All the time? Like girls arent like that, and guys dont usually get a taste of their own medecine. truth is, guys are jealous creatures also! I dont see how it would be right for a guy to be able to do that but not a woman? I bet your excuse will be, Oh its okay if she does it, just to support your point hahah.

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah but I mean would you want your girlfriend to be like **** That guy is hott, omg I wish he would have sex with me, he turns me on so much. All the time? Like girls arent like that, and guys dont usually get a taste of their own medecine. truth is, guys are jealous creatures also! I dont see how it would be right for a guy to be able to do that but not a woman? I bet your excuse will be, Oh its okay if she does it, just to support your point hahah.

Most guys working in the porn industry aren't very good-looking. It turns out that most guys have trouble keeping it up when they are being filmed, so the guys that can do that get a lot of the work, even if they're ugly.

[surfhb]

Yeah but I mean would you want your girlfriend to be like **** That guy is hott, omg I wish he would have sex with me, he turns me on so much. All the time? Like girls arent like that, and guys dont usually get a taste of their own medecine. truth is, guys are jealous creatures also! I dont see how it would be right for a guy to be able to do that but not a woman? I bet your excuse will be, Oh its okay if she does it, just to support your point hahah.

First of all, girl aren't like that. They dont think about sex all day long like we do. No I wouldn't want a girl who though like a man when it comes to sex. There's no reason to be jealous if a guy turns his head to look at a beautiful woman.

Just because I say to myself "damn...I want to tap that ass" doesnt mean I really want to tap that ass. Make sense? I would have to much to lose and love my GF too much for a piece of fine ass.


Yes....my GF will sometimes make comments how good looking a man is....its no big deal ...she with me. What do I care. If she acted on it, Id be pissed. I do admit I was like that when I was your age though. As you get older, stupid shit like this doesnt matter anymore in relationships.....Im 36

Final point: There's no emotional connection between love and sex with a guy.



BTW - Why does your profile say you are an adult store sales woman???

[MaidenMinx]

When I met my fiance I was instantly attracted. When I found out he had a sports bag full of magazines (teenager of the 90's...) I was less attracted. Over time it didn't seem so much of an issue and I got together with him in spite of his interest in porn. While I was pregnant I had a wild swing of attitude and I raged and fumed and assumed he saw me as horribly deformed as I did (I did NOT like being pregnant at all!). Then one night I woke up at about 3 in the morning. My fiance wasn't in the bed. I heard him giggling in the study. I got up and crept in to see what was so funny. He was watching some clip of something disgusting and thats when I realised I had nothing to worry about. Sure my man was perving (he yells boobs everytime he sees a topless woman in a movie) but the entertainment factor for him is laughing his arse off at what some women will do to themselves for money.

Oh and perving is natural, it happens all the time. Everybody enjoys looking at a good looking person. Doesn't mean you want to run off with them. Some of the best pervs are people you know you are completely incompatible with. Porn is an extension of perving. I don't like the idea of my man wasting his time looking at porn but as long as I don't have to be reminded he does it, it's fine. Though at the same time, when we are out together if I ever catch him blatantly perving he knows I'll smack him up the back of the head. He's ok with this. Man at times, I've been the one to point out a gal worth perving on. :p