How long has it been since you have had contact with your ex.. post here once daily.

[KelE]

1 month today. 2 wks since text contact. Break up was out of the blue and he refuses to talk even on the phone even though I pretty much begged for closure. I feel like I've said all I can say via text, so no regrets there. I'm not going to contact him in any way. It is in fate's hands now. One way or another I am moving on. Don't know what the future holds.

[hello1]

Yeah. Dinner together was nice, but I'm keeping my emotions on hold until we can talk seriously this weekend. If I'm not satisfied by what she has to say, I'm really okay with just moving on now. I've got a feeling that the only real issue left will be timing, now or end of summer.

Haven't you been saying that for ages now though? I can understand to an extent what you are going through, when you love someone you really do try anything to make the relationship work and its so hard to let go.

[DarkHelmet82]

day 3 here i come! monday i will text her congratulating her on her graduation this saturday.... hopefully that may open up dialog.. if not.. time to move on and contact her to drop off her stuff

[VincenzoG91]

Haven't you been saying that for ages now though? I can understand to an extent what you are going through, when you love someone you really do try anything to make the relationship work and its so hard to let go.

I'm no longer willing to do anything to make the relationship work. I have a clear idea of what I want, and if I can't get that on reasonable terms, I'm truly ready to move on. If she moves out soon, gets a restraining order against him and enforces it, that's a starting point that we might be able to build on. If she drags her feet or balks at the restraining order, that's a dealbreaker for me and I would rather take my chances dating somebody new.

[Nicholas_V]

I'm no longer willing to do anything to make the relationship work. I have a clear idea of what I want, and if I can't get that on reasonable terms, I'm truly ready to move on. If she moves out soon, gets a restraining order against him and enforces it, that's a starting point that we might be able to build on. If she drags her feet or balks at the restraining order, that's a dealbreaker for me and I would rather take my chances dating somebody new.

Well, I was reading your Amy story yesterday and I am actually shocked that you consider taking her back after the way she played you. I think, when it comes to certain attitudes (read: dishonesty), people cannot change (most of the times). You're taking a massive risk - even more so, given that, as I understand, you are looking for marriage.

Why?

[VincenzoG91]

I honestly don't feel that Amy played me. She certainly benefited from our relationship, but she has also struggled for years, trying to sustain a relationship with me while coping with the threats and demands of the other guy. What she did was wrong, but I understand her particular issues well enough to see how she could have stumbled into this mess that most people could have easily avoided. She is an extremely private person, which made her an easy target for blackmail. And her childhood was filled with turmoil... the financial struggles of her single mother, multiple stepdads including one who raped her, a period of time when they lived in a women's shelter to get away from her mother's abusive boyfriend. Her real dad left her them when she was a baby, came back into their lives when she was five, and died less than a year later.

Our relationship was good in some ways and bad in other ways, and now that I know that there was this abusive stalker in the picture for so long, I'm curious to see what our relationship would be like without that kind of complication. I'm not going to rush back into anything. If she left him next week and everything was going great this summer, I still wouldn't be proposing to her until next year, and I would wait until she finished grad school in 2014 before actually getting married. By then, it should be obvious if we should be getting married or not.

Amy was too young for me when we first started dating. Sometimes she could be really immature or irresponsible, but I've seen very real growth and progress in her over the years. More importantly, this situation has pushed her to finally trust me fully, to stop holding back secrets. She is able to admit unflattering things about herself and take responsibility.

But if she isn't willing to move out soon, I want to move on. I know from past experience that I can easily get first dates but not second dates. My social skills have continued to improve over the years, but I'm also a little on the old side for the dating scene, despite my very youthful appearance.

So I'm going into this with a neutral, open mind, and a lot of questions. Lots of good answers, followed by positive action, and I want to get back together with Amy. Too many bad answers indicating more delays and frustration, and I'm gone.

[DarkHelmet82]

i feel like we havent spoken for MONTHS.... its been 3 days and its killing me..

[Klim]

I talked to my only ex at about 4 PM yesterday. We're still pretty good friends, too. Yesterday, my girlfriend and I went to see a movie with my ex and her boyfriend, and it didn't seem the least bit awkward.

Also, the kids in the row behind us thought we were too old to be watching Harry Potter. We're all about 19 or 20.

[DarkHelmet82]

harry potter? the movie doesnt come out until July

[rcwood84]

I have an ex who i found out to have borderline personality disorder. We were friends before we got together in april of 2010 but I had no idea she had so many underlying issues. everything was great at first; so much so that i didnt realize it was an "idealizing stage" in bpd. My dad was battling cancer at the time so i reduced my class load at school greatly to take care of him. he got much worse into the late summer of '10 and i began to need to be there for him a lot.it took a toll on me and made me emotionally wiped. my ex unfortunately decided to show her true colors as i began to get emotionally weaker. my dad ended up passing at the end of november and my ex got much worse with her emotionally abusive behavior. i was grieving and taking the loss hard because i lost my mom as a kid too and i have no siblings; so, it was hard for me to pull out of the relationship. a couple of months ago, i realized that her tantrums, her constantly using me to take care of her responsibilities, her demands, her criticism and personal attacks on me, and her lack of sympathy towards my situation with my father was unforgivable. I left her apartment one day and never returned...

she tried to manipulate me with nice texts, than emotionally manipulative texts, than mean texts when i said i wouldnt come back over to stay the night with her. she would threaten to block my number when i did not rush over as she demands. her texting became an every other day thing with the same erratic behavior. than it dwindled down to over a few days. at this point, she would only come to me to ask me to do something for her or help with something, which i firmly declined. she did it for the last time on monday after no contact since may 3rd. I declined her request for help taking care of her financial aid and she again insulted me and said she will block me again. no contact since.

i am happy. very happy. good riddance.

its 4 days and counting of NC and i hope it goes on forever.

[bloodtippedrose]

Ex #1: its been about a month since we last spoke via email. Even though he cheated on me four years ago he is still an okay guy, just not bf material. I enjoy him giving me opportunities to gloat of my better life and choices ;D

Ex #2: 2 years, he's a mental-case.

I declined her request for help taking care of her financial aid and she again insulted me and said she will block me again. no contact since.

i am happy. very happy. good riddance.

GOOD CALL! shes as manipulative as they get

[DarkHelmet82]

day 4... tomorrow will be the hardest day as its the day she graduates.

[Dune]

Last I've communicated with my ex was about 1.5 months ago. Never thought I could hold NC for so long (ongoing record for me at the moment). Honestly, it feels really really good. Out of sight, out of mind. Peace. Freedom. And best of all, I don't needa give a shit about the crap she's doing.

Don't plan on talking to her.. Ever.. If she contacts me though (which she never does bcoz of her huge pride), I prolly don't even know what I'm gonna say. Maybe I'll say something really really sweet. Like 'Bye'.

[DarkHelmet82]

Last I've communicated with my ex was about 1.5 months ago. Never thought I could hold NC for so long (ongoing record for me at the moment). Honestly, it feels really really good. Out of sight, out of mind. Peace. Freedom. And best of all, I don't needa give a shit about the crap she's doing.

Don't plan on talking to her.. Ever.. If she contacts me though (which she never does bcoz of her huge pride), I prolly don't even know what I'm gonna say. Maybe I'll say something really really sweet. Like 'Bye'.

good for you!

[RiderViper]

B) *uses fingers to count*
7 Days since I last saw her (at her brother's wedding)...
30 Days since we both texted each other where I convinced her to talk to me later after she got pissed off at me for seeking advice and she made it clear she doesn't love me.
38 Days since she messaged me that she doesn't want continue with me anymore.
41 Days since she made up her mind to break up.
41 Days since I last saw her smiling because she felt a bit happy with me.
42 Days since we last enjoyed most of the day together and were in love.