Go Away!

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Ok, I didn't know where to put this thread and although it's not a conventional "dumping" by any means I think it's appropriate here. Ok so I lived in an apartment downtown for about 8 months this year. After about two months an old friend from high school came up and began staying with me and my roommate. He stayed the remaining 6 months until my dad kicked him out. My dad kicked him out cause he was staying there without paying anything and was just sitting around all day long leeching off of me and my roommate. He ended up tearing apart my friendship with my roommate and when my dad kicked him out he got pissed at me.

Well here's where I need advice. He won't go away. He's posting stuff on my Deadjournal now criticizing my life. He just won't let things go and he's too stubborn and stupid to realize what really happened. Is there any way short of homocide to rid yourself of a mistake like him?

[Killerbabe]

I'm sorry to hear about this, I know how bad it must feel to have problems like these. Basically, you could just try to explain to him why he got kicked out: not because you guys didn't like him or you're just greedy, he has to understand that you don't own gold mines and can't afford to have guests stay over at your place for such a long time... If you do get this message across to him, he might get a little embarrassed and might choose to leave you alone.

As to Deadjournal...you can't ban him can you? Yeah, you can't. Well, I guess you can just ignore his posts...nah, scratch that, he must be very annoying. Hmm...homocide, homocide, why is this word on my mind? *hint hint*

[Zekk_T_Strife]

He's too stubborn and retarded to accept that he's wrong and that I really didn't kick him out or make anyone do it. He knows the truth because I told it to him but he finds it easier to just bitch about it and keep running away. It's scary though because I've had serious thoughts about paying his mom a visit when I get my shotgun.

[ViSionS]

My only sugestion is to live and let live. I know it's hard especially when he keeps playing this passive agressive game to make sure you "see" his anger/pain, but if you you can get him to realize that the passive agressive BS doesn't phase you, it will probably stop. And if he is a true friend, then it should blow over enough that you can talk about it in a reasonable manner and move on with your lives, hopefully still as friends. I've been through this a million times with my best friend in different ways, but somehow our friendship has always survived. But you are right, the passive agressive BS is the first thing you need to work on getting rid of, and that is usually as simple as not reacting to it in any way until it stops.

My $0.02.
ViSionS

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Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness in which they were created. --Albert Einstein

[Illusional]

i have to admit, that it is hard to ignore someone when they won't go away. however, i think you should show him the light and actually tell him, or write in your journal what actually happened from your point of view. explain or critisize how he never did anything to help around the house and how he wouldn't pay for bills. his being ungrateful will top it off. if he's not willing to listen, write it all down in your journal for everyone to see. being that he's stubborn, i know it's hard to ignore him, but until he finds something better to do, he has no life other than to bother you. raverboy

[ViSionS]

I totaly agree with you Illusional, I'm not saying ignore the situation, but the only way I've found effective to deal with passive agressive behavior is to show no signs of being affected by it, the person almost always stops doing it. All I was saying was to deal with that first, and then try to work out the other problems. My experience is, trying to talk reason with someone playing the passive agressive game(the opposite of reason), is like trying to build a house out of newspaper during a monsoon.

ViSionS

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I really like that analogy.

[ViSionS]

hehe, I couldn't think of any better way to put it.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

When he posted on my journal I just said "Lol, this really made my night. I know exactly who this is and it really makes me laugh." I didn't really get into anything there and if he posts again I think I'll just ignore it until he stops. I've already tried the cool and calm approach and he's just too damn pissy. I'll let you know if anything major happens.

[IceQueen]

Zekk, if you're still struggling with this guy, here's advice. Ignore him. Completely, utterly, and totally. Any kind of reaction to his "advances" (bad word, but you know what I mean) will only give him more fodder. He'll quickly get tired of talking to a wall and go away.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Yeah, I've pretty much been doing that. I erased his comments on my journal and I haven't heard from him since.