Issue with his online dating profile

[sakana]

Hello,

This is my first post to the forum. It's great to see many shared their experiences here. I'm seeking your opinion/advice on my situation.

I met this guy online on POF about 6 months ago. We decided to meet up in person soon after we established contact. Everything has been going well, he has a good job and we share similar values and interests. We go out once or twice a week and always have fun together. 3 months ago I asked if he'd be dating other girls and he said no. I told him I already deleted my online profile and asked if he would do the same. He deleted the profile immediately in front of me.

However a few days later I accidentally found his profile back on line. I confronted him about this . He said he was bored and did it just for fun. Again he deleted his profile in front of me. But then just last week I noticed that he's still going to POF. I went online and did a quick search, sadly I saw his profile up again (with different username but I'm sure it's his because every detail matches his info, even the profile description is the same as before). I'm very disappointed of his actions.

What should I do? I'm thinking of a breakup now. I have a hard time tolerating this behavior. If he's still looking around after we have been dating for 6 months, obviously he's not that interested in me, right? I really like him because I think we're a great match, but it won't work unless we are on the same page.

Have anyone had any similar situation before? Any good suggestions?

Thanks!
Sakana

[Gratedwasabi]

He's dating other women. Lots of guys use dating sites as a way to very easily maintain multiple relationships. Since you choose which email and phone number they get, it makes it ridiculously easy to balance several relationships plus dating on the side. You even can save their profile and have free access to lots of their info in case you get confused/forget.

He's dating other women.

[VincenzoG91]

If I start dating again, there is no way in hell that I am going to use Plenty of Fish. The very name of the site is negative, subtly encouraging all users to keep looking and never settle on one person. To hell with that.

[Klim]

Well, I have a profile at a dating site that still exists, and I'm in a monogamous relationship. My girlfriend knows I am not and will not be seeing other people and that I only go there for fun, so she's fine with it existing.

This guy might be seeing other people since you don't approve of his ongoing profile use, but I wouldn't bet on it. I don't think there's a way to know for sure what he's doing with it without an honest conversation.

[Gratedwasabi]

Well, I have a profile at a dating site that still exists, and I'm in a monogamous relationship. My girlfriend knows I am not and will not be seeing other people and that I only go there for fun, so she's fine with it existing.

This guy might be seeing other people since you don't approve of his ongoing profile use, but I wouldn't bet on it. I don't think there's a way to know for sure what he's doing with it without an honest conversation.

You go there for fun? What kind of fun? To screw with women looking for a relationship and get them to waste their time emailing you? If you're in a monogamous relationship, get your ass off a dating site and leave it for people TRYING TO DATE.

[strikestwice]

He is seeing other women or this will lead him to seeing other women, why not it is how he met you. I'm learning that when boys find someone great they want to see if its someone better. Toting with peoples emotion isn't fun its just cruel. To add insult to injury he closes them in front of you to shut you up and opens them again later. Whatever happened to plain old porn addiction. Between Online dating sites, facebook skype and twitter cheating is way to easy and literally one click away.

[butterfly81]

Well I call it Plenty of tw#ts but that only from my experience

[bulrush]

You have been going out for 6 months. He is not committed if he still has a dating profile.

I have been going out with my gf for 5 weeks. I still have my dating profile, because we are still new, though we both know we like each other a lot, and are dating each other exclusively. My dating profiles are "deactivated". I marked them as "unavailable" so I will not appear on another person's match list. After a few months I will delete them.

[Saya]

It is very strange that he kept on going back to that site and he even create a different account with different username...
He is probably interested in you, but probably not looking for a serious relationship. He probably want to have fun and likes getting attentions from different girls.

[oneandonly]

...... After a few months I will delete them.

Why not now?

[Klim]

You go there for fun? What kind of fun? To screw with women looking for a relationship and get them to waste their time emailing you? If you're in a monogamous relationship, get your ass off a dating site and leave it for people TRYING TO DATE.

What? No. I'd never do that. I'm a nice person.

The site's got a few things that I'd consider fun to do besides date. I don't even talk to anyone and I clearly state I won't consider seeing other people.

[oneandonly]

The site's got a few things that I'd consider fun to do besides date. .

Which is...?

[Klim]

Which is...?

...Unimportant, as this thread's not about what I do when I'm bored.

[Gratedwasabi]

...Unimportant, as this thread's not about what I do when I'm bored.

Actually, it's precisely about what you do when you're bored and checking out dating sites in your "monogamous" relationship. It's a direct parallel to the topic at hand.

What, exactly, can one do on a dating site while in a committed relationship that is fun but not crossing into sleaziness?

[iamminzy]

i dated this guy about 5 months ago and he does the same thing too... Always says that he just check messages on his online profile. he said that we will be in a relationship but I still see on there... I mean do guys always get messages from other girls? it just ridiculous. He told me he was dating other girls too, and that was why I don't trust him to be in a committed relationship with him and he ignored for 2 days and told me what happened, but still. Sometimes he would tell me he went out with a girl and then tell me he was just kidding. Most of the time I see him online and he always spend the weekends with me. But we called it quits because he was moving too fast and i realized I don't like this kind of relationship. He told me I was on top of his list which means he is a player.

I think u should break up with him. It's not that he;'s not interested in you, it's just that I think he is insecure about you and worried that you won't be a match for him or if something goes wrong, he can just find another girl. he's obviously being a player right now if he deleted his profile and added it again... Just confront him about it and call it quits before he lie to you again. Tell him it bothers you that he added his online dating site profile again and you already lost his trust and you can't be with a guy like that.