I need advice

[jenko88]

I write a lot so this might be long, but i really hope someone can help me.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we broke up in between for about 6 months. At the time, we broke up because he had issues he needed to get over. He's like a light switch, he'll switch on and off. He'll be so happy to come home to me and not want to go out at all for a year or two and then suddenly want to go out and not pay as much attention to me... then he'll somehow get an epiphany and want to come home and stay home with me.

When our relationship was very strong, he never wanted to go out with his friends and i always encouraged him into going out because i felt like it was very unhealthy for him and for our relationship. Now that our relationship isn't as great, he wants to go out knowing that it would bother me.

I feel like i get super needy when my boyfriend starts showing less care about me. The thing is, i've asked him he wanted to break up with me and we've had this conversation too many times. he keeps saying no, and that he loves me and wants me to be happy. he also says that he needs me to be patient with him because he doesn't know what's wrong with him. We talked about having him go see a therapist and he agreed to.

The thing is, i don't want to keep going on like this. He makes me feel like the luckiest girl and then i feel like he takes it away. He treats me so well that even my guy friends say i'm really lucky and that they've never met a guy like him.

[tooxshort]

Sounds more like he doesn't know how to balance his life. I remember when I first started dating and having girlfriends, I would dive headfirst, show them endless attention and basically leave my friends in the dust. That doesn't work well for a relationship. So, the next one, I made it a point to see my friends a lot more and then the girl ended up feeling like I didn't give her enough attention. The key is balance.

However, when you start acting super needy, you're actually pushing the guy away. He's already feeling like he wants a little space and the neediness just really puts more pressure on him. This is YOUR chance to get back and reconnect with your friends.

There must be a LOT more to this story if you've agreed on therapy though. So, paint a bigger picture, if possible.