Porn - why do us women see it as such an issue?

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Ok, so I know I've asked this question before, but I'd like both mens and women's opinions if I can:

Men, by looking at porn whilst in a loving relationship does it mean that your not sexually attracted to the woman your with as much as you used to? What are your views?

Women, how do you feel about your husband/partner viewing porn? Does it make you feel unwanted when you found out or are you happy that it's just something that men do and they love you the same?

All views would be welcomed.

If I don't know about my partner viewing porn, I'm completely fine with it but when he leaves the computer history open and I go onto the Internet I get alittle unsettled by it. What I don't know won't hurt me so I'd prefer not to know.

Thanks

[Kilocake]

My ex liked porn too. Anyway, I'd say as long as you can still get enough dick then it's not an issue. If he's not interested in you sexually but always watches porn, then it's not too great of a situation.

[Cerby]

I watch porn, and it changes nothing in my relationship sex life. I still like to have as much actual sex as possible, but sometimes I just enjoy watching some hottie superslut getting it on.

[pisces25]

I did have a problem with it because my BF preferred watching porn and masturbating over sex with me and couldn't actually understand why this was an issue for me. It made me feel very unattractive and there was a major imbalance as I am/was very attracted to him and have a fairly high sex drive so it was not an ideal situation. After digging deep and finding out some things from my BF's past (which he is now in therapy for) we realised his porn addiction was the symptom not the cause of the problem.

In a normal, healthy, functioning relationship I don't mind it at all and would be open to watching it with my partner. I do know why some women get upset, it can give men unrealistic expectations of sex and what women should look like and act like but if the guy knows how to seperate fantasy from real life then it doesn't have to be a problem in the relationship.

[Cheriee]

I find it quite ridiculous when girls get all worked up because their boyfriends watch porn. I think most of them don't really understand it, because they don't watch it themselves or something - I don't know really. I've always enjoyed porn, not even the most normal one (I quite like watching people doing stuff I'd never do), and of course it never bothered me if my ex boyfriends would watch it. Now I never tried the whole 'let's watch porn together' thing, although it might be interesting, but I really find it such a trivial issue in a relationship.

It only becomes less trivial if the guy/girl prefers porn over actual sex, but I wouldn't see that happening very often, the real thing is far more exciting. I think keeping an open mind it's always really important, but also understanding porn is porn, and real sex is real sex.

[Yet another guy]

Men, by looking at porn whilst in a loving relationship does it mean that your not sexually attracted to the woman your with as much as you used to?

No. It doesn't mean that at all. Not all women have problem with porn either. Some of them watch it themselves.

If I don't know about my partner viewing porn, I'm completely fine with it but when he leaves the computer history open and I go onto the Internet I get alittle unsettled by it. What I don't know won't hurt me so I'd prefer not to know.

In my opinion it would be more healthy to accept the fact that he watches porn and that it doesn't have anything to do with you or his relationship with you. Hiding behind ignorance isn't a good idea despite the bliss.

we realised his porn addiction was the symptom not the cause of the problem

That's a very smart observation. I doubt that porn has ever been a problem in any relationship. If there are problems, excessive porn use may be a way to cope with the lack of sex/attraction. In fact it's quite a positive symptom since the alternative is cheating with someone else. Porn is never the problem itself unless the partner makes it into one.

Still, just because porn use may sometimes be a symptom, it doesn't mean that there is a problem. If both parties are happy and get all the sex they want, there is no problem with or without porn.

[vashti]

I think the vast majority of males engage in porn viewing, so I have adopted a rather "eh" attitude about it. It's just another bad habit, like spitting or scratching. I don't personally need it.

On a personal level, I would expect discretion and no affect on my sex life, or I wouldn't be understanding at all.

[Klim]

I don't watch porn, but I have no problem with other people watching it. My girlfriend sometimes watches it, but it doesn't harm our relationship. I really don't care if you do it. You can talk about it all you want, but it still won't bother me.

Viewing porn doesn't mean you're interested more in watching some fake internet sex than you are interested in your partner.

[bapbapbap]

my partner doesnt watch porn he thinks its dirty and degrading. I am not against it, but i do think its far fetched and i think it is kind of pointless watching something when you could be doing it yourself

[Mathias]

my partner doesnt watch porn he thinks its dirty and degrading.

You need to be prepared if this isn't actually the case.

A lot of people have used this same line. Be careful.

[ShellyZ]

Aren't there already multiple threads about this? I don't know why this is so hard for some women to understand. And I'm a woman, OK? Men watch porn. It's not a big deal. It doesn't mean they're not attracted to their partner, it doesn't mean they're not satisfied with their sex life, it's not infidelity, it's not a reflection on their wife or girlfriend. Ladies, it has nothing to do with you. He watched porn before you came along and he'll continue watching porn for the rest of his life, no matter how hot you are and no matter how much he loves you. It's not about you, so stop taking it personally. Men just like to look at pretty pictures. It's like a hobby.

I resent the implication that all women get upset when their guy watches porn. Some women are actually reasonable, and we understand that watching porn is a perfectly normal and acceptable activity for men. I don't like porn myself, so I don't watch it, but I assume that any man I date watches porn and that doesn't bother me. I don't see any reason why it should bother me.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Thanks for your views.

I agree with the vast majority to be completely honest but every now and then , maybe it's when I feel down about a situation or stressed I seem to find myself picking up on these things also from time to time.

If my sex life was suffering over porn then I agree wholey that it would be cause for concern, however that's certainly not my case.

I'll just see it as his bad habit from now on, everyone has to have them!

[qwertz]

My bf doesnt watch porn, but if he did i wouldnt care, so long as it didnt affect our sex lives.

[johnmajor]

my gf sometimes watches. but i feel insecure cuz of that :S the thing i keep on trying to tell her that porn isn't real and fantasy but she is not convinced and afraid she wants MORE hardcore extreme stuff - well she does enjoy hardcore more so when we do it. bit of a role reversal there! yet she thinks im perverted when i say i watch it.

[Shakur]

Girls expect around 95% of the guys to watch porn. And 99% to have seen it in the past.