Lack of girlfriend

[Andyt9]

Ok ive never posted here and it might be the complete wrong place but I just want to get it off my chest.

Its been 2 years since I was in a proper relationship. Since then id say i become pretty loney in terms of women.
Around 12 months ago I got a new job and it was well paid, I wanted a girlfriend a lot, I had the money to do everything I wanted but could only spend it on nights out with male friends. 6 month I got depressed, I lost all interest in women and my world just stopped. This could be due to a spell of to
much drinking, my grandads death or lonliness (females).

Now im over the worst and my sex drive is returning, but i only tend to like
women 'out of my league'. Everyone who likes me are not the people I see a future with. Unlike others I have a hard time dating if theres no future becos i feel im wasting my time and I would feel awful letting her down at a later date.

Im just not sure what to do, maybe I Lack confidence, maybe I havnt enough self esteem, but without my perfect woman Im finding my life hard to move forward.


Has anyone got any advice?

Any advice?

[Spring Haze]

How can you know there isn't a future unless you start dating? Your pickiness could be creating a hindrance.

[sadie_genie]

Maybe you should stop thinking of women like possessions. If you think of them that way (weather you are aware of it or not), you would want them to be "perfect". Instead, think of them as people, a partner who you can grow with and share experiences with.

[JadenMia]

How can you know there isn't a future unless you start dating? Your pickiness could be creating a hindrance.

I agree, there is no real way of seeing a future with someone you meet without actually dating them! lol In both my serious relationships i have looked back to the time we met and always think 'wow, i would have never guessed i would be here serious with him right now'.
Unless you actually dont like the person, and something about the person you wouldnt want to be with, then i would just live a little. Take a risk and just go with the flow. The next time you meet a girl that interests you, you should give it a go. Who knows where it will end up? If it doesnt go anywhere, then who cares. No time lost or wasted, its all part of a learning process

[pisces25]

maybe I Lack confidence, maybe I havnt enough self esteem, but without my perfect woman Im finding my life hard to move forward.

You hit the nail on the head. If you are sitting around waiting for your "perfect" woman you will never be happy. It isn't up to someone to come along and make you happy and feel good about yourself. What part of having a supermodel-looking woman hanging off you will make you feel good about yourself? The fact that people look at you and go 'wow he has a supermodel-looking girlfriend, he must be AWESOME!' ? It always amazes me how people think they have a right to have a "perfect" partner when they themselves are not perfect. A big sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. Forget the rubbish society and media fills you with about what will make you happy. Even if you did have the "perfect" partner (doesn't exist btw) and all the money in the world you still will NOT be happy. In that you can trust. You are placing your expectations on something that isn't realistic. What will happen if you land the 'out of your league' chick and you discover in fact that she isn't at all what you thought? You will be miserable and start looking at what is wrong with YOU and another circle of depression will continue.

Concentrate on getting to know all types of women, get to know them properly. Not everyone you meet has to become a long-term relationship. Who knows it could be the person you least expect that changes your life for the better. And remember, there is a reason these women are out of your league. Do you really want to be with someone because you were the best-looking guy with the most money in the room?

[aspie guy]

Looks are quite subjective so good-looking to someone is not good-looking to someone else.

I am also quite picky in regards to physical appearance and I don't see myself dating someone who I'm not attracted to looks-wise. You can say I am shallow but the fact that I cannot have these good-looking women makes them even more attractive to me. This is because I am attracted to what I can't have. It's probably psychological and there is nothing I can do about it. It's just the way I work.

Many religions say that placing too much emphasis on physical appearence is immoral because good looks are impermanent and go away eventually but I think that the fact that these things are so impermanent makes them even more attractive to me.

[BrownDog52469]

Move forward in life. You will find the right girl along the way.