!!!BACK WITH AN UPDATE....need more advice!!! :((

[elleda]

I am trying to muster the strength to leave this guy!!!

After months of my pointing out his emotional affair with his ex (his "best friend") to have him only deny it, he finally admitted that she is in a hard spot and that they are dependent on one another but that he needs to move on in order to have a relationship.

he said she said to him: i care about your happiness and i don't want to hold you back, i understand.

this is almost verbatim what i told him someone who cared about him should have said the first time we broke up over this issue and he ran crying to her.

he has cut their hangout time from 4+ times a week to 1 or 2. i just hate when he comes back from a date with her how he seems SO bouyant and smells like smoke (only does it when they're together).

his words tell me that he is OVER her and he doesn't want to be her surrogate platonic boyfriend and he wants to be with me and he is cool with seeing her less and less because it needs to happen, NOT IN ORDER TO PLEASE ME.

but i just don't believe it!!!!! and i hate that controlling, manipulative bitch for affecting my life and the relationships that i have.

on the other hand, this also my freaking fault for not walking when i found this out early on.

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A KICK IN THE ASS!!!! i really want to believe him and he said that he was going to change but the other day, he was on the phone making plans with someone else before i had even left the house!!! (after a great night and day together). ps: his only friends in the world are his ex and 2 other girls who used to like him

how do i get the strength to just say NO and not feel like i'm losing out to these inconsiderate girls who don't respect our relationship??

this is all my fault...

(click my profile and check out my first post if you want the whole backstory)

[elleda]

ps: he has self confidence issues he is working on getting over

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just leave him. Stop calling him. Next time he calls you, tell him it's over and he already knows why, and you're not going to respond to any contact he makes with you. Hang the phone up before he can respond. Block him from everything, and start moving on.


Or quit whining.


By the way, you're blaming the wrong person. It's not this "manipulative bitch" that is affecting your life and your relationships. It's your inconsiderate boyfriend. Stop making excuses for him. It's not self esteem issues, it's him not caring about your feelings. Don't give him another chance to hurt you.