No contact ...Help

[ufas1987]

that sounds good. I do want to do the month thing but Im really afraid she will loose feelings for me if I wait to long. My buddies girlfriend is good friends with her and she had been telling me not to worry and she wont loose feelings....I want to believe that but its really hard to. This girl is very independent and that makes me think with all the feelings we have or had she could just walk right away from them.

[DarkHelmet82]

that sounds good. I do want to do the month thing but Im really afraid she will loose feelings for me if I wait to long. My buddies girlfriend is good friends with her and she had been telling me not to worry and she wont loose feelings....I want to believe that but its really hard to. This girl is very independent and that makes me think with all the feelings we have or had she could just walk right away from them.

Yeah I know EXACTLY what you mean.. I feel the exact same way... but I think if you or I contact our exes too soon it will only make things worse... my ex is pretty independant too, but I have faith that I will get my opportunity and that it will work out as things are supposed too. I kept in VERY LIMITED contact.. just told her congratulations on her graduation, that was on monday.. so its really only 2 weeks at this point for me... i dont think she will start dating anyone that quickly, and if she does it will still be real new...

[ufas1987]

thats true...haha ya Id like to tell her to drive safe and all that when she leaves but thats breaking the no contact rule....do you think it would hurt if I told her that? Im sure Im thinking to far in this...thats what people have been tellling me. I just dont wanna **** this up and do something stupid. She wanted space so she can get over her merriage so Im giving it to her...hopefully she sees im respecting that by not talking to her. She was right when she said we met at the wrong time.

[DarkHelmet82]

well i had a valid reason... tellng her to drive safe is a BAD reason.... Dude this is eearliy similar to what im going through... my ex said almost the exact same thing to me.. she said "i wish we had met a month later." IM really interested in how it works out for you.. ill keep you updated on my situation if you do the same for me..

[ufas1987]

your right...kinda sounds desperate. Thank you!! It really does sound the same. Ya I really do think she is still hurting from her marriage and her family problem. She says she never cries and Ive never seen her cry until the day she told me the reason why she wanted to break up. after she gave me the news she told me why started crying and curlled up next to me. That tells me she still cares. I will def let you know...since you are a little farther along with your no contact im interested to see how everythings goes for you. maybe if we keep in contact it will ease our minds and not make us worry about it all the time...thats what will make us do stupid things.

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah i shoulda met up with my ex, i was a pussy and made her tell me over the phone ( i didnt have time to meet up with her.) but my ex is the same she never cries.. but I could sense she was tearing up on the phone... I will keep you informed definetly. Like you I am worried that if i dont contact her she will move on.. but nothing i can do about it... no contact is the right move here...

[sparrow1023]

The only thing i dont understand with my situation is once we were broken up and talked about everything and really found out how much we cared for each other she didnt want to change her mind and give it another shot. She was like i wish i knew these things a week ago...well you know them now so stop the bull shit. We both thought we were just another boyfriend or girlfriend and didnt know how serious the other was. I fell like her friends had something to do with it . Before she didnt get to spend much time with them then her best friend broke up with her boyfriend so towards the end of the relationship she wanted to hang out with them more than before. And thats fine with me because i wasnt getting to hang out with my friends as much either but since she wasnt 21 she couldnt really come out with me when we were going to bars and that stuff. I feel like there was a number of things that added up that caused this but all of them could have been easily worked out but once she decided to do this she wouldnt change her mind. We havent seen each other since before the break up so hopefully when we finally do see each other it might spark a little something. During the relationship we rarely went a couple days without seeing eachother.

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah i saw my ex every day pretty much... i have a feeling deep down that her doctor told her to end it with me.. it was weird she said one night she had a dream that i killed her.. obviously i would never hurt her.. then the day before she ended it she went to her doctor and im sure he probably put some crap into her head and she believed him.. sparrow just do no contact and see what happens...

[confusius]

The only thing i dont understand with my situation is once we were broken up and talked about everything and really found out how much we cared for each other she didnt want to change her mind and give it another shot. She was like i wish i knew these things a week ago...well you know them now so stop the bull shit.

I know exactly what you are talking about. My ex and I talked about all the different issues that could had led to the breakup. Well we pretty much agree to a lot of them, but still she didn't what to come back. She said she cared about me and at some point she will be anxious to know my whereabouts; she would get mad when I would refuse to tell her what I'm up to. I will try to talk to her and she would still say no. It looks like once they have set up their mind to do something there is no going back. Mine told me that if she is making a mistake she doesn't care at the moment and she will deal with it later. I also think her sorority sisters put a lot of crap into her head.

Give her space. I wish I could had done so with my ex.

[sparrow1023]

Yea once she make up her mind it final even if she knows that not what she wants to do and i feel like thats one of the reasons i didnt see or talk to her during the break up because she knows i would have just convinced her to not do it. And im gonna keep giving her space but i know the way she is and shes gonna be like well if he wont call me im not gonna call him so it will most likely be no contact for the rest of the month. Im just glad she texted me after a week or so just so she knew i wasnt mad at her.

[ufas1987]

Ya they really dont...I think it makes them feel stronger. I did the same but she still said she doesnt know what she wants. Ya friends and others do provoke it sometimes....some for the wrong reasons. I generally believe mine was all about her stress. It all came down at once for her...made her depressed witch made me depressed. Thats why she said she couldnt do it. I told her I was sorry and now i know the reason why she was feeling bad and i can stop feeling depressed. but she still wanted to split saying she didnt know what she wanted rightnow. I think she just wanted to jump stright into something then got scared when it started getting serious.

[DarkHelmet82]

Ya they really dont...I think it makes them feel stronger. I did the same but she still said she doesnt know what she wants. Ya friends and others do provoke it sometimes....some for the wrong reasons. I generally believe mine was all about her stress. It all came down at once for her...made her depressed witch made me depressed. Thats why she said she couldnt do it. I told her I was sorry and now i know the reason why she was feeling bad and i can stop feeling depressed. but she still wanted to split saying she didnt know what she wanted rightnow. I think she just wanted to jump stright into something then got scared when it started getting serious.

are you sure we werent dating the same girl.. same thing with my ex... she even apologized twice saying that "i am under a lot of stress right now but it will be over soon." Im so miserable right now... I just want to contact her.. i dont know if i can hold off until June.. this is so freakin hard.. its only been 12 days and it feels like 2 years....

[confusius]

are you sure we werent dating the same girl.. same thing with my ex... she even apologized twice saying that "i am under a lot of stress right now but it will be over soon." Im so miserable right now... I just want to contact her.. i dont know if i can hold off until June.. this is so freakin hard.. its only been 12 days and it feels like 2 years....

You guys should be glad that at least you don't have to live with her. lol

My heart would go through a roller coaster of emotions when I would hear her voice in the apartment, or see her having fun with her friends drunk, AND WORSE walk pass her new bf. I guess that's why I couldn't go NC for more than a 5 days LOL

[ufas1987]

haha we better not be Ya if I hadent seen some of the stuff thats stressing her out id say shes just making it up to blow me off but she has shown me some of it...even after we broke up. She stuff that shes going through is horrible and I feel real bad.....even her job is a huge stress factor. like i said...if i knew what was going on before it would of been easier but she just wasnt ready to tell me and I started making it worse on her. she knows i care about her and love her to death but i just caught her at the wrong time in her life. I also was making it hard on her. When she told me I was bringing her self esteem down by picking out flaws that totally crushed me. Im so use to my friends doing it to me and i also do it to them...thats just how we are... plus my old job was just that....picking out flaws! I started doing it to her and i didnt even know i was doing it!!! She said shes not holding that against me and i told her i will never do that to her again...i mean that with every ounce of my soul!!! Im not worried about that tho...i can fix that. Im just keeping high hopes about what she said, "hopefully we can both get the help we need so we can be better together someday" She is getting help with her divorce and im getting help with my emotions....they get out of hand sometimes. I do want to wait for her....shes worth the wait but i dont want it to be months or years. Hopefully this no contact will help the both of us.

[DarkHelmet82]

at least you have friends that live near you.. i have ZERO! They all live 180 miles away... thats what makes this sooo much harder... yeah my ex has bipolar, was getting her masters, was graduatiing, had thoughts about her ex's kid, and is looking for a job... thats all i know but im sure there is more...