really need some advice

[ashtray]

hi i am a 23 year old male and been with my partner nearly 7 years altogether.i really dont know how to say this but my partner is not very nice she gets in moods nearly every day over really silly things. its been happening for about 4 years and sometimes it can last days even up to a week.
an example would be she is watching eastenders a bit to loud and i would ask her could she turn it down a bit please and she will turn iit off and start shouting how she is never aloud to watch anything i ask her not to shout because are daughter is in bed and has school in the morning and she seems to get louder she says alot of mean things and somtimes attack me (not alot tho its rare more threats).
another example is a year or 2 ago when i found out she was cheating on me i said out of anger sometime i wish you were a bloke so i could hit you and she went to the school saying she had to get are daughter out because i said i was going to kill her. they phoned the police and social services i dont think she thought they were going to do this otherwise she wouldnt of done it what i think she was planning on doing was leave me and go live with with him(the person she cheated with) but he didnt want her so she called me to come pick her up. i need some advice it can really make a person feel down over time i have no friends because most of them were girls but wasnt aloud to talk to them when i got with my partner.
when she wants to argue it doesnt matter where it is its happening which is quite embarrassing also infront of are daughter which she doesnt need to see or hear i think its coming out in her because when i went to the toilet i heard my daughter in her room shouting just like her mum so i went in and she was playing with her dolls i just really need some help here and have nobody to turn to if i leave her i cant leave my daughter because she will start to feel depressed like me and if i do leave i have no where to go we cant live in the car it seems like i am stuck.if i do leave i am scared shes going to do something stupid please help.
i have tried talking to her about the moods she just says shes sorry and shes working on it the first time we had the talk was about 3 or 4 years ago and the last time was today with many in between.
its almost like she enjoys being this way because she does nothing about it.

a little about her when she was growing up with her mum and brother they where real horrible to her.her mum made her pack her suit case up at 5 years old and made her leave with the heavy suit case her brother used to beat her up alot. i wont go in to too much detail but it gets worse maybe this is why she is the way she is which is not her fault but its not my fault or are daughters fault so we shouldnt be punished for it. i do love her and care about her but she is really nasty when i first met her she was really nice for the first few years and then she just turned. please any advice would be great.

[Spring Haze]

Do you have any money to hire an attorney? She is physically and verbally abusive. You need to make a case against her, and gain custody of your child.

a little about her when she was growing up with her mum and brother they where real horrible to her.her mum made her pack her suit case up at 5 years old and made her leave with the heavy suit case her brother used to beat her up alot. i wont go in to too much detail but it gets worse maybe this is why she is the way she is which is not her fault but its not my fault or are daughters fault so we shouldnt be punished for it.

Mmmhmm. Look - she is an adult, it is her fault. She's not putting forth effort to change on her own, and she's not reaching out for professional help, either. Tons of people have poor upbringings, and endure abuse. Not all of those people turn out like your partner. You are justifying her behavior based on her childhood, and probably because she is a female on top of it.

[IncognitoSir]

I agree with spring haze, YOU need to make a move for yourself and your daughter. She clearly is not seeking the help she needs and you can't make her do anything. You're fighting a losing battle. Get a great lawyer, follow his/her advice and stay that course. At this rate, it's not getting any better and I don't think it will unless you get away from her ASAP.

[smackie9]

She is suffering from some condition related to depression. Make an appointment for her and you both go to a doctor so she can get properly diagnosed. In the meantime it would be best to find another place to live until she gets treatment and you see improvement. This could include you two going to couples counseling as well.

[SebastianH]

I believe that you will take a lot because of how much love you have for someone. But the truth is that all the love must be directed towards your daughter. You need to have your daughter's best interest and that seems away from your wife.
Do whatever you must but act quickly and get your daughter into the right path away from someone that is a lying abusive person