Started dating again after 1 year "broken" up

[SebastianH]

Ok so we're both 22, we broke up but still stayed hanging out. After a about 2 months of basically no talking because we got into a horrible fight, we decided to talk things over and got back together. Thing is she now lives in another city, we are doing great but now that shes in a new town new people start popping up. Theres one guy that is saying "whats up" but me, as a guy, now the difference between trying to be a friend and trying to say whats up.
Sadly I have her fb password and can see the emails they send to each other. She says that nothing is happening and the emails prove it. But they still talk and joke around, thing is this GUY is telling her "we should hang out, this and that" she replies "yeah thats cool, we can get some people out"
It seems that she isn't wanting to mess around but is naive to think that the guy only wants to be friends. And when I ask what her plans for the night is she says "Im just staying in I guess"

What do you think? In the past we never cheated on each other, and as of right now we are perfect, its just I dont understand this: even if you arent going to cheat why put yourself in the "wrong" position and why lie about it?

[Spring Haze]

Things are not perfect. You have a need to spy on her, even though she has been trustworthy.

[SebastianH]

but she's lying to me.
how would I have known that she lying if i didnt see whats going on?

[Spring Haze]

Ask yourself why you were suspicious in the first place.

Do you know for certain she is not "staying in"?

[smackie9]

End it.... Why date someone that lives in another city...that's plain dumb.

[Red Apollo]

She could honestly be naive enough to think this guys intentions don't go beyond wanting to be friends. I know what you mean, one of my exes use to show me texts she'd get from guy friends. I'd tell her "He obviously wants to try and hook up with you." She wouldn't believe it, only to come to me a few days or weeks later telling me he tried to make a move. I just trusted her to do right by me, as incredibly hard as it was.

If you have to spy on her FB, she is lying to you, and she is hanging out with other guys in secret, your relationship is far from perfect. You don't trust her, and she doesn't respect you enough to be honest with you about hanging out with some guy, whether her intentions are good or not. You should sit her down and talk to her about it. Granted, its gonna hit the fan when she finds out you are spying on her. But if you don't talk it out now, your relationship is going to get swallowed up by a lack of trust. That, or she is going to fall for this guys wiley charms while you quietly rage at her facebook account.

[zyingyang]

wow, honestly she should dump you because she's been honest with you yet you still have trust issues and you're violating her privacy. And seriously, who wants to be with someone who is controling with who they should and should not talk to? It's not like she's hanging out with him, she's talking to him ONLINE, AND if the emails prove that nothing is happening, guess what, nothing is happening and nothing will probably continue to happen.
And how is she lying to you? We girls aren't as naive as you think, based on my experience:
1.) she probably knows he's interested but she's playing it so cool by brushing him off b/c she obviously is loyal to you- see, most of us like to "keep the peace" - he may be interested in her, but he's probably someone who shares mutual friends w/ her and she probably has to see him when out with other friends - so instead of asking "hey, you seem interested in me, but I have a boyfriend" (which honestly, who is that abrasive?) she's ignores it so time out with friends is non-awkward. (he may not be interested in her at all and you're just being over dramatic)
2.) he's facebooking her "we should hang out sometime" - which honestly, when you facebook that stuff INSTEAD of calling do you really take them seriously? no, you're just making conversation - or at least I would think so b/c shy ppl who spend all their communication time one facebook are unattractive - it's not like he asked for her number.
3.) she's not attracted to him, and brushes him off b/c duh, she doesn't want to start anything b/c duh, she's w/ you

[smackie9]

Tip: girls play dumb to spare your feelings. They know that guys are trying to hook up with them, but they can't help themselves because they like the attention....duh.

[Gratedwasabi]

but she's lying to me.
how would I have known that she lying if i didnt see whats going on?

Don't worry, pal, someday you'll grow up into a bona fide adult and stop acting like an kid. Don't spy on people.

[SebastianH]

3.) she's not attracted to him, and brushes him off b/c duh, she doesn't want to start anything b/c duh, she's w/ you

Girls know when I guy is interested they just like the attention. its obvious between all girls. and everyone lies. thats the worse part, but girls lie best.
They have hung out before, they work together!! Weirdest thing the other day she told me she would go to her friends house (girl) instead she invited him over to have a drink. Between their mails it shows nothing happened, but at the same time who the fcuk invites someone over like that?
So now whenever she doesnt talk with him while she's with me she never tells him about me and she never tells me about him. She knows I have a weird feeling about the guy.

She might not be attracted to him but something pulls her to accept hanging out and NOT telling me about it.
I cant say anything cause I shouldnt know about this...i mean... is ignorance really bliss?

[Gratedwasabi]

3.) she's not attracted to him, and brushes him off b/c duh, she doesn't want to start anything b/c duh, she's w/ you

Girls know when I guy is interested they just like the attention. its obvious between all girls. and everyone lies. thats the worse part, but girls lie best.
They have hung out before, they work together!! Weirdest thing the other day she told me she would go to her friends house (girl) instead she invited him over to have a drink. Between their mails it shows nothing happened, but at the same time who the fcuk invites someone over like that?
So now whenever she doesnt talk with him while she's with me she never tells him about me and she never tells me about him. She knows I have a weird feeling about the guy.

She might not be attracted to him but something pulls her to accept hanging out and NOT telling me about it.
I cant say anything cause I shouldnt know about this...i mean... is ignorance really bliss?

Step 1: Break up with her.
Step 2: Figure out why you have such trust issues that you need to spy on people.
Step 3: Find a girl you won't spy on.

[SebastianH]

she once lied about taking $200 from my wallet. She said that she had to pay rent and was low on money. She said that she took it expecting to pay me back.
I believe her and let it pass. We're both in school and she's not working, she gets financial aid. Thats how my trust for her was lost before, but we patched that up again this time around when we started dating again

[smackie9]

she once lied about taking $200 from my wallet. She said that she had to pay rent and was low on money. She said that she took it expecting to pay me back.
I believe her and let it pass. We're both in school and she's not working, she gets financial aid. Thats how my trust for her was lost before, but we patched that up again this time around when we started dating again

I dunno, theft would be an absolute deal breaker for me. That is an immature and self righteous choice to get money in my opinion.