Friend and her husband.. AWKWARD! Long but please read!

[JadenMia]

My close friend has been acting very strangely toward me and i dont know how to handle this.

First off, i knew her husband first. We were good friends and met through mutual friends etc.. In the past year he has become too close for my liking. He once grabbed my ass when we were all out.. Once when he was drunk he said he would swap me for his wife anyday.
I never knew whether to tell my friend. It is always when he is drunk that he does it, so i didnt want to ruin a marriage over something stupid so decided not to say anything.
But then i noticed her acting weird with me. I thought she might have noticed the unusual attention from her husband and started to resent me.

Any guy i went on a date or talking to that she knows, she would butt in, actually (purposely..accidentally?) sabotaging any chance of anything happening.
She told one of the guys i was talking to.. JUST talking and hanging out that i wanted something serious with him, for him to stop talking to other women etc.. That obviously scared him off and he told me about what she said. I asked her about it and she said she was just looking out for me..
Then with someone who had asked to come meet up with me and her as we were bowling.. She spent the whole afternoon explaining how crazy me and my ex were. Talking about the fights we had and stuff. I asked her about it and she just apologised and said she didnt realise she was doing it.

NOW, i have met this guy i am really interested in. Unfortunately he works with my friends husband and knows them both. Well he told me last night that she messaged him out of the blue asking about me and him.
Asking him of he liked me..if we had sex. Then she brought up a foursome with us. And she said "dont worry, its nothing about you.. Me and my husband want to see Jade (me) naked."
I didnt believe him so he showed me the conversation and he was right ..
I have warned him about her and her antics and he said not to worry he wouldnt take any notice. But i cant help thinking the things she does behind my back.

I pulled away from her husband completely and started to concentrate on mine and her friendship instead. But now i am just freaked out about it. I dont want to say anything.. I dont think i have the GUTS to bring it up to her.
I dont know.

What do i do in this situation?
I almost feel like losing her as a friend completely but i just dont understand why she is being like this? My friend told me who is a family friend to them.. That he has been pushing her to find a girlfriend that will want to have a threesome with them. They are going through a rough patch in their relationship and i wonder if she is being pushed to do this and not actually wanting to..

UGH.

[IndiReloaded]

Depends. Do you want to teach her a lesson or get her to stop. Frankly, I wouldn't call anyone who did this my friend. And her husband, your friend also? He sounds like a complete ass.

I would distance myself from both of them. Clearly they are having issues that are manifesting outside of their relationship. Unless you enjoy shit-splatter I would back away.

FWIW, if it had just been slightly catty comments I would probably have taken my friend aside and asked about her life. People only do these things b/c THEY are feeling bad--nothing to do with you. But, the emailing your new friend takes it to a deliberate, malicious level. You can't empathize with someone like that, only be a victim.

Now, if you want to teach her a lesson.... that is a whole other animal.
But no real %age that I can see. She's already making her own hell, so stand back and let her.

[JadenMia]

I agree with the fact they are letting their problems create problems everywhere in their life.

If this was just anybody i wouldnt call them a friend. I obviously dont feel like a friend to them now! lol But they were dearly close friends. They were supportive and incredibly helpful during my breakup. My ex was abusive and they once called me to see if i was okay after seeing him shouting in my face earlier on in the night.. I answered the phone by accidentally whilst 'wrestling' with my ex to keep him from taking my phone away from me. They heard the comotion over the phone and drove up to his house in the middle of the night to come take me home. Just instances like that made them both AMAZING friends to me. And im sad they are acting like this

I am going to pull away from them for sure and i have also tried to talk to her before this. I questioned her about her relationship with him and if they were having troubles. She said yes but wouldnt really open up about them. She defends him down to the ground and justifies everything he does. I think he has been doing drugs also. Well damn sure he has.

And her.. OMG. I cannot believe she has being doing these things to me!! It is just so out of character i just dont know what the F*CK is going on, i cant quite wrap my head around it..
I agree i am going to stand back and let her do this herself.. I was supposed to be spending the weekend with her shopping, doing our usual thing together, especially as all our friends are out camping for may long. There is no way i am going to her house now.. lol All i will be able to think about is her trying to undress me with her eyes. bleh

[MerryH]

They are going through a rough patch in their relationship and i wonder if she is being pushed to do this and not actually wanting to..

Does this make it okay that she's being super creepy to you? No. I think you're just making excuses for her. You should never tolerate this kind of bullshit from people. There's no room in your life for bs, right?

[hello1]

You know I think this is all to do with her husband, not with your friend. You said that he found you attractive and their relationship going down hill, maybe going along with his fantasy is her way of keeping hold of her husband? You should feel sorry for her really.

If I was you, I would back away till she got herself sorted.

[JadenMia]

yeah you are right, i totally am making up excuses for her. Its just that she has always been great to me i find it so weird she is being like this ya know..Hmm.
And i agree hello1. I think its her husband too even though she is the one who is being awkward about things not him so much.. hes just a jerk sometimes. lol I am going to stay away from them for sure and if she pulls one more thing like this again or messages my guy again im going to unleash on her!! I dont care about her having feelings for me or whatever the hell she is doing. But if she tries to much things up for me.. I will be PISSED.

[HeartIsAching]

That woman is no friend of yours. She's manipulating your personal relationships to keep you free for her and her husband's fantasies.

[IndiReloaded]

Don't react. Ever. She's looking for this from you. For some reason she seems to want to 'get' to you. I suspect its b/c her husband has made some unflattering comparisons b/t you. Not your problem.

Just cover your bases by communicating with your new friend. If she continues to email him, it will only make her look bad.

[JadenMia]

True enough. Thanks guys for giving me some insight into this situation! I didnt know what the best thing to do was at all and now i see clearer on what she is doing. Thanks guys