Girls VS Video games

[Archie]

Yes, here it is, the new guy generation archnemesis - the thought "will my girl accept me playing v-games?".

The reason i`m asking this is because i am one of those guys who like to sit down at the PC and play games, alot. But my girlfriend is, sorry for my dwarfish, being a bitch about it.
Whenever i sit down at the PC to waste some time, purely relax, forget about life, she starts complaining that if i wish to waste time, then it`d be better if i wasted it with her, together. There have been times when we`ve downright had fights about it, but i`m not about to quit anytime soon. Whenever she sees me playing a game, she starts nagging at me, but there`s always a moment when she just becomes silent and stares at the screen, asking what`s going on in there. She`s obviously interested, but she`s just so stubborn, whenever i ask if she wants to try, she frowns and rejects my offer.
From time to time i see her playing those dumb Facebook games, My farm etc, i ask her why is she playing those - it`s fun.
No it`s not, if she only asked i could get her any game that would be 100 times more fun than those ugly flash games, but noo, she`s stubborn.

Don`t get me wrong, i`m not a gamer 24/7, i work my ass off and am going to start Uni this September, so I need some space, atleast a while to forget my troubles, it`s better than drinking or smoking(cause i do neither).
I love her and i especially love her stubborness, so cute, and I love to spend time with her, but is there really nothing that can be done about this?
I`ve tried playing with her, if she want`s to go shopping with me, she has to play this&that game for a while, then i will accompany her(not like i love shopping, infact i prefer to clean the house rather than walking in the mall for 5 hours), as if that`s going to work.. It feels very unfair.

Any ideas, oh` ladies?

[pisces25]

Ahhh... can relate to this one. My other half is a keen WoW player and for so long I could not stand him constantly playing it. I think because with that kind of game if I am there when he is playing I feel completely ignored coz he can't interact with me whilst raiding or in a dungeon. And my ego was bruised as I thought 'why on earth would he prefer to do that than talk to me?'. and I didn't fully understand that he couldn't talk to me when concentrating on playing I got mighty shitty.

Long story short we broke up (not because of this issue) however have since reconciled and it doesn't bother me in the slightest anymore. I think I was using his playing to start arguments at times as I was unhappy in our relationship and I knew that was one way I could get at him. He told me not long ago he hated the fuss I made about him playing it made him feel so guilty.

I understand how frustrating it must be for you. As for some solutions to your situation firstly do you live together? If you don't why not just suggest to your GF that you have seperate time and in that time you play your games and she can go off and do whatever, shop with her friends and stuff. That way you are playing and don't have to worry about entertaining her. I don't think trying to get her to play or see from your point of view that it is fun is going to work or be a long-term solution.

Bottom line you guys need to compromise. She needs to know you need your space playing and you need to understand how it can make her feel if she is around and you are ignoring her coz you are playing. You need to respect each other's decisions to engage in certain activities whether the other person likes those hobbies or not.

[Spring Haze]

And the obvious question is:
How much time are you dedicating to her?

[jayjay30]

In my opinion if your a younger guy, who goes to school/work and you make time for your gf then i see no problem. BUT when you reach almost 30 and have a child, dont work and sit playing games all day long from the moment you wake up until the time you go to bed(3am or 4am), then it becomes a problem. WHEN you start to ignore your gf and choose to play a game instead of having sex then its an issue.

[DarkHelmet82]

my ex LOVED video games.. we would play call of duty all the time...

[Archie]

I envy you so much DarkHelmet82..

Both of us, we`re 22 and we`ve been together for 3 months.

Spring Haze, obviously when i`m completely worn out, i rather not trouble her, but when we`ve aranged something for the evening, beforehand, then i`ve got no choice. We don`t live together but we are together quite alot.

Worst of all, i`m not even playing WoW or similar time consuming games, to me they seem boring, the games i play take about 10-30 minutes to complete/per stage(mission), whatever. So it`s not like i sit down for 2 hours and don`t budge. I can almost always pause if i need, so i`m available whenever i`m needed.. but it`s still not enough.


Is it possible that she`ll just get used to it or there`s nothing to be done about this?

[DarkHelmet82]

right but shes my ex.. man this sucks. I cant really even play it anymore without thinking about her....

[mammadon]

she is in the wrong.

[Klim]

I like both girls and video games. I don't let video games consume too much of my free time, but I still play them often.

But, yeah, Archie, I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend doesn't dislike my video game playing (in fact, she joins me most of the time), but the people who are hardcore Farmville or Angry Birds players still hate us for playing games. They fail to realize that, while their games aren't as huge as things like Call of Duty, Halo, or World of Warcraft, they're still games.

Yeah, your girlfriend's being a hypocrite, but I don't know what you can do. Again, I'd try to steer you in the direction of "tell her exactly what you told us".

[Mathias]

she is in the wrong.

I don't agree with this (and I'm a huge gamer). It's something she needs to deal with, though. If she can't stand it, she needs to leave.

Where she's possibly wrong is where she's trying to change who you are. Always a bad idea.

[qwertz]

My bf just today went out and got some newly released game. We dont live together but he will no doubt be a bit more quiet than usual, i dont mind- he has a stressful job and its his way of shutting the world out, but he wouldnt choose to spend time playing the game over spending time with me- if he did then i think that may well be an issue.

[girl68]

For 1 I don't believe that he's spending 30 minutes gaming... if that were true, she's wrong to feel like that's excessive but like I said I don't believe for a second that's the real amount of time spent. All too often time is lost when you sit down and game and you THINK it's been mintutes but it's been hours, upon hours.

I've dumped boys over this. Needless to say when my man got one I started balling my eyes out I thought I'd lost him. I told how I'd lost a previous bf to gaming and that was my fear taking second place and a backseat. He understood and he's actually been really fair about the gaming. He games when I'm busy, or when I passed out on the couch he stays by me and games. If I'm done and sit beside him while gaming he assures me he's almost done and when he is, he turns it off and that's that. I'm never just sitting around waiting for his gaming to end, and I honestly wouldn't accept that either I'd throw the damn machine out the window if I had too. Luckily I don't have to.

I understand where she's coming from. My suggestion is make some rules. You get 1 hour per day uninterrupted. When an hour comes you either get off immediately or she comes in a reminds you to get off immediately. If you fail to get off you show lack of respect as "ok in 5 minutes" is not an acceptable response. If you can set up strict boundaries and follow them there shouldn't be a problem but you both have to get what you want. You get some gaming time and she gets time with you.

[mammadon]

For 1 I don't believe that he's spending 30 minutes gaming... if that were true, she's wrong to feel like that's excessive but like I said I don't believe for a second that's the real amount of time spent. All too often time is lost when you sit down and game and you THINK it's been mintutes but it's been hours, upon hours.

I've dumped boys over this. Needless to say when my man got one I started balling my eyes out I thought I'd lost him. I told how I'd lost a previous bf to gaming and that was my fear taking second place and a backseat. He understood and he's actually been really fair about the gaming. He games when I'm busy, or when I passed out on the couch he stays by me and games. If I'm done and sit beside him while gaming he assures me he's almost done and when he is, he turns it off and that's that. I'm never just sitting around waiting for his gaming to end, and I honestly wouldn't accept that either I'd throw the damn machine out the window if I had too. Luckily I don't have to.

I understand where she's coming from. My suggestion is make some rules. You get 1 hour per day uninterrupted. When an hour comes you either get off immediately or she comes in a reminds you to get off immediately. If you fail to get off you show lack of respect as "ok in 5 minutes" is not an acceptable response. If you can set up strict boundaries and follow them there shouldn't be a problem but you both have to get what you want. You get some gaming time and she gets time with you.

He's a man, not a baby.

[girl68]

He's a man, not a baby.

What the f**k are you talking about. TONS of girls are ignored all the time because of "men" playing games. It's a serious issue, men, boys and "babies" alike.

[Mathias]

My suggestion is make some rules. You get 1 hour per day uninterrupted. When an hour comes you either get off immediately or she comes in a reminds you to get off immediately. If you fail to get off you show lack of respect as "ok in 5 minutes" is not an acceptable response. If you can set up strict boundaries and follow them there shouldn't be a problem but you both have to get what you want. You get some gaming time and she gets time with you.

Jesus. You're his girlfriend, not his mother.