today

[DarkHelmet82]

I disagree completley with this, what if she was thinking the same thing and waiting for him to contact her first, then nobody would ever try. If he is torturing himself with the no contact thing then it is clearly not working and he is not geting over her. At least he will have made the effort and tried.

I agree... its all in or go broke at this point. If my pocket aces get cracked, I went in with the best hand and cant be upset about it.

[lifemess]

yeah im gonna do it.. ill keep you posted...thanks life I agree.. the problem is i always follow my heart and it never works out.. but then again i only need that ONE time right..

I understand that i got your hopes up by my other post. I feel kinda bad if I don't also remind you of what this could cause you. I'd just advice you to be careful, cause many times i followed my heart and it brought me more pain and i started question myself and why i did it, cause it only made everything worse.. I still feel like it's up to you, and you only to choose, cause if you are obsessing with this thought - you should do it, to get some closure at least... So maybe you could move on..

I'd still advice you to think it through if you have a lot of doubts about it!

[DarkHelmet82]

Well i know shes confused, lonely, and vulnerable right now and I dont want her to think I hate her. I know ill get a response.. all im doing is saying hello. I dont see the issue with it really. Im more nervous about setting up the day to meet up than I am about this...

[lifemess]

Well i know shes confused, lonely, and vulnerable right now and I dont want her to think I hate her. I know ill get a response.. all im doing is saying hello. I dont see the issue with it really. Im more nervous about setting up the day to meet up than I am about this...

Then I think you should follow my first post advice, and stop thinking to much
You'll do fine!!

[confusius]

If you want to get your ex back, no contact works for some people and doesn't for others. BUT it does help to move on. We all know that if you're too emotional and clingy the ex will see this and "play" around with your emotions. I personally don't see how no contact will bring back your ex. Some may contact and some may be waiting for you to make the first move.

I think we all need to analyze the situation first. Get the no contact if you can't handle seeing your ex without being clingy and all over her/him. Then when you feel more confident, contact her and let her/him but never talk about the past relationship unless the other person does so. And give the rest to TIME. How patient are you? And don't wait around either. Go out, have fun, date if she/he is dating too (but sometimes it's good to be single, but I think that will depend).

So Dark, stop torturing yourself and go for it. You won't get your answers if you don't try. It will put you at peace, but sometimes it will merge and you will have some down moments. When that happens say to yourself "at least I try, and now I have my answers". That's where I suggest a no contact for sometime, then contact her when you are strong enough (if you still want her back) and keep a moderate communication.

Anyway good luck!

[steviej]

There's no right or wrong answer as every situation is different. The right decision is the one that you are happy to make even if the consequences are the worst possible outcome. As long as you can deal with that and sleep knowing you are happy with whatever decision you make.
Good luck, i hope it works out!

[DarkHelmet82]

stevie ill definetly let you know lol.. well im not sleeping now so it cant be any worse then it is lol

[irishgerry]

if she doesnt respond how will that make you feel? Will you be able to say well I tried so its over and be able to move on for good or will you leave it a few days and contact her again?

[DarkHelmet82]

well im pretty sure she will respond i dont see why she wouludnt.... if she doesnt ill try one more time and then if nothing at that point ill drop off her stuff. Id rather know then not know.. yeah i might feel shitty but I dont like being in limbo.

[irishgerry]

cool well then best of luck with it, i hope you get the answer you want/need.

[DarkHelmet82]

im just saying hello... she doesnt hate me and the breakup wasnt due to anything I did.. only thing im worried about is the timing aspect.. but I need to take care of myself, and this is the only way I know how. I dont want to go crazy.

[confusius]

if she doesnt respond how will that make you feel? Will you be able to say well I tried so its over and be able to move on for good or will you leave it a few days and contact her again?

That's the thing; people are different. I can contact my ex anytime, any day, even when she is out with her friends, at a party, she will always pick up. ALWAYS. So again, know what you are up to before making any move.

[DarkHelmet82]

well I will do it tonight and post back on here and let you all know what happened... thanks

[Mathias]

I disagree completley with this, what if she was thinking the same thing and waiting for him to contact her first, then nobody would ever try. If he is torturing himself with the no contact thing then it is clearly not working and he is not geting over her. At least by doing this he will have made the effort and at least he tried.

He's given it like a month. That's not nearly enough time.

He's already stalked her, and gotten burned for it. He's only going to hurt himself more by doing this.

The thing is - he knows it, but would rather just hear encouragement as he runs into a brick wall over and over again. He's been told this every time he starts a thread about her. At this point, he's going to do whatever he wants - hopefully he learns sooner than later, though.

[DarkHelmet82]

I didnt stalk anyone.. well that wasnt why I was over there at least....I didnt sit outside her house for an hour watching her go in and out.. I went over to drop off her things and observed what i saw.. it was like 15 minutes at most. whatever I dont need to prove anything... and in fact i didnt get burnt for it.. it actually wound up proving I was right and that she was being honest... how is a month not enough time? I should be over this by now and the fact that I am not, tells me that I need to figure out what to do.