today

[DarkHelmet82]

Im gonna break the no contact thing.. i cant take this im just torturing myself. I'll just do a a friendly "hey hows it going, hows the job hunting coming" nothing crazy.. then next week ill see if she will meet up with me..

I say that now but I probably wont end up doing it...
Also if you are one of my "fans" and that word im using with sarcasm, no need to contribute to this thread. Thank you

[lifemess]

Good for you!! I wish you the best of luck :-)
Rooting for you!

[DarkHelmet82]

do you think im making a mistake?

[abn25]

Go for it, if nothing else you get your feelings out and it may help you to move on...

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah its a complex situation... the timing needs to be right.. im not gonna have a full blown conversation for a couple more weeks.. im just trying to subtlely tell her she can contact me and I dont hate her.

[abn25]

Then you shouldnt hesitate or think to much about it, just tell her that and go about your day. Im in a VERY complex situation with my ex and all I can do is be patient and take care of myself either way. We usually talk/txt every week or so and it seems like that gives enough space right now for both of us so I wouldnt worry about it.

[bapbapbap]

i think your doing the right thing, i think no contact is always a bad idea

[DarkHelmet82]

i think your doing the right thing, i think no contact is always a bad idea

can you give me a reason why you think its bad.. kinda curious.. thanks

[lifemess]

I'd say you should listen to your heart. I kept doing what everybody else said i should do, and adventually it backfired on me and bit me in the ass. He saw right through me and what i was trying to do.
Only when i followed my own instincts and my own heart, i finally called him. - Even though we started arguing and it went very badly, and i thought that all my hopes were gone it was worth it. Because the next day i followed my instincts and asked him to meet up with me. Suprisingly he agreed, and it lead to this reconciliation we're going through right now. So, as you can see, sometimes you have to be the one who takes the iniative, even though you are the one who was dumped.. Sometimes it works out the way you want to! Just believe :-) remember that only YOU can make the choice for your own future and what comes next... If this doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, atleast you know that you tried, right? Often when we think negative we attend to draw negative things towards us, so try to be positive, try to be happy, try visualizing how and what it would be like to be back together, and make it your reality. You'll be suprised over how well it works. Just listen to your heart!

:-)

[bapbapbap]

I just feel like its too hard to deal with, especially if you still care about someone. No contact makes you over think about things even just a little contact is better than none at all but that is just my opinion

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah im gonna do it.. ill keep you posted...thanks life I agree.. the problem is i always follow my heart and it never works out.. but then again i only need that ONE time right..

[Mathias]

There is a whole lot of bad advice in here.

If you're thinking 100% emotionally, it's usually going to be a bad decision. Not contacting her allows you to get over her faster. That's the goal.

She's not coming back. Repeat that to yourself. Even if she WANTS to come back, she will contact you first.

[bapbapbap]

yeah im gonna do it.. ill keep you posted...

good for you, and at the end of the day it will at least give you peace of mind!

[DarkHelmet82]

There is a whole lot of bad advice in here.

If you're thinking 100% emotionally, it's usually going to be a bad decision. Not contacting her allows you to get over her faster. That's the goal.

She's not coming back. Repeat that to yourself. Even if she WANTS to come back, she will contact you first.

well at this point i should be over her and I am not, the only way for me to get over it is to KNOW i have no shot, as opposed to wondering.... I know she will respond to me as she doesnt hate me, If i am positive I will get positive results.. its the way the world works no? Also if it helps me move on.. what is it doing for her? see the dilemma.. this is why i think no contact is a scam and is stupid.. its not good for trying to get back with an ex, only to GET OVER an ex.

[bapbapbap]

There is a whole lot of bad advice in here.

If you're thinking 100% emotionally, it's usually going to be a bad decision. Not contacting her allows you to get over her faster. That's the goal.

She's not coming back. Repeat that to yourself. Even if she WANTS to come back, she will contact you first.

I disagree completley with this, what if she was thinking the same thing and waiting for him to contact her first, then nobody would ever try. If he is torturing himself with the no contact thing then it is clearly not working and he is not geting over her. At least by doing this he will have made the effort and at least he tried.