I really like this girl, on a forum, but am worried I have screwed it up

[Splash100]

She didn't reply to that, but sometimes she doesnt anyway, maybe she never had an answer

I then went on to say something about the internet and how it is sometimes a negative thing, she replied



I think it's a positive and negative thing, personally. I really like that I can come to an interests refuge (sorry I know it's a stupid term!) like this so that I can mix with others who enjoy similar interests, whereas at college or in work, I feel like no-one particularly enjoys the same things, be it musically or films. Don't you feel the same? Do you remember at the time you joined when you said that someone told you Oasis were better than the Kinks (something like that)? At least here you know there are others out there who enjoy them, and perhaps without the benefit of an online community, you'd never have known them. I also like that I can buy an old vintage tea dress or say, Clark Gable film on Amazon which alternatively would not have been available in HMV or shops.
Plus without videos on the internet, I'd never be able to watch clips of certain musicians or actors I now love and admire.
Then there are the negatives such as lack of communication in society, nobody writes the old fashioned letters any more or buys newspapers; or just that the little things are disappearing.
I bet handwriting is deteriorating in schools as a result of computers as well!


Okay this is the l=only time I will show some posts, but I just want opinions if that looked normal

cheers

[doppelgaenger]

lol, good luck with that

*bangs head against wall*

[lorrainecook201]

Try to get to know her more. Do not act as if you know she likes you coz maybe you'll get humiliated in the end.

[yellowbiz]

Since you started talking to her directly, it'll be that much easier for you from now on.

Maybe ask her about herself ? Talking about common interests is nice but it seems so generic in the two/three posts that you shared, you need to get more personal with her if you want to know her better..

Hell, I don't know, I'm not the best guy to ask for advices about girls or relationships, just saying what's on my mind That's my disclaimer lol

[Gratedwasabi]

This thread makes me want to jump out my window.

Okay. Serious advice.

Close your eyes. Okay, just peek enough so you can read this. .... Closed? Great.

Now reach down and feel between your legs. Anything there? No? No balls? Keep looking.. ... find 'em? A pair of 'em? Good. NOW STOP BEING A PUSSY AND PM HER LIKE YOU ****ING ROCK AND SHE KNOWS IT. ****! It's called confidence. And it's the INTERNET. You can fake it, buddy. Don't let her see how snivveling you are until you're in person.. by then she'll hopefully be invested and put on blinders.

The actual PM you should send her...

"Hey! You know, I really enjoy reading your posts.. I'm glad someone else has the same eclectic tastes as me! Care to meet up for a coffee to chat about Clark Gable?"

That's it. Two sentences, three max. Compliment (not obviously, sound authentic,) and ask nonchalantly. Win. If you write her a multi-paragraph thing she'll think you're a stalker.

You never, EVER go more than three sentences asking a girl out. Real life, internet, whatever. NEVER. Why? Because you give them more to nitpick on.. whereas a short thing like that makes her wonder. I guarantee you she would speak more time reading what I wrote than your long, drawn out bullshit. Mine is shorter but she'll read it over and over trying to figure it out. And that is MONEY, because when she CAN'T figure it out she'll automatically say yes.. as no woman enjoys not KNOWING (or THINKING they know.)

[Splash100]

Thank you everyone again for your reply.

Grated wasabi your idea is great.

But as she has been quiet for a week with me, shall I add somehing about that in there? Asking If maybe I have said someing wrong?


Cheers

[RdHrshyKss]

no. don't ask her if you did something wrong. do not mention or even hint at anything negative. like grated wasabi said, it will only put her in a negative mind set. and it makes you sound insecure. insecurity is not attractive to anyone.

i agree with grated wasabi that you have to exude a bit more confidence. convince her that you are someone worth getting to know. but i wouldn't go so far as to say that typing multiple paragraphs will make her think you're a stalker. some people are more talkative than others. and you met her in a forum setting...where people come to express their opinions. i think the type of replies that were going back and forth were normal for a forum discussion. i definitely get the feeling that she has paid attention to you. she remembered a post between you and another forum member when you first joined? she has definitely paid attention. the issue just might be that she has a busy lifestyle and doesn't get onto the forum very regularly. i guess my next question would be, has she mentioned anything in this other forum regarding her relationship status? do you even know if she is single? maybe she is involved and is trying to keep your conversations on topic.

i'd also point out that the first reply that you sent to her just sounded like a continuation of what she had said. you didn't really ask her any questions, and there wasn't really anything new to delve into discussion about (might have been why she didn't reply back so quickly). but when she replied back to you that second time, she asked you a question and it sounded like she wanted to keep the conversation open-ended, which is a good sign. i'd say continue down the same path you are going, but just make sure to ask her slightly more personal questions so that you aren't only talking about forum things. make sure that you keep your replies open-ended and ask a bunch of questions. if she doesn't respond to those type of replies, then you will know that she just might not be that interested.

i wouldn't ask her to meet up just yet. that might be a little TOO confident. it doesn't sound like you guys have really connected on a personal level yet...you've just been talking about forum related topics. once things start to get a bit more personal...then i'd jump in there and suggest meeting up. maybe to grab some coffee or even go to some kind of film event that you both might enjoy.

[Gratedwasabi]

i wouldn't ask her to meet up just yet. that might be a little TOO confident. it doesn't sound like you guys have really connected on a personal level yet...you've just been talking about forum related topics. once things start to get a bit more personal...then i'd jump in there and suggest meeting up. maybe to grab some coffee or even go to some kind of film event that you both might enjoy.

Maybe, but it's kind of surprising how willing women are to meet guys from the internet that they really have no clue about. I have been trying this online dating thing and it's SHOCKING how many dates I've been on. Not just from dating sites, either! The same "strategy" works on forums. I've also figured out what works best is to initiate with, at most, 1 or 2 emails back and forth and then go for a meeting. I'd assume there casually flirty posts back and forth would suffice.

Right now he's mysterious and potentially a confident, cool dude. That mystery goes a long way. As long as it's meeting up in public for coffee, I wouldn't be surprised at all if she went for it. Besides, if she isn't going to go for it now.. are a few more emails really going to change her mind? Better that he stop fretting and just get it out there for a yes or a no then keep trying only to get a no later. Just my 2 cents.

Splash, one of the most important things to remember when dealing with women is to ALWAYS treat periods when they don't call/text/email back as fast as you like as though they're super busy but dig the hell out of what you're selling. I don't play the "Oh, yeah, I've been super busy, too.." BS unless I have.. but just try to keep thinking that they are incredibly busy and that's why you haven't heard back YET.

[RdHrshyKss]

you might be right grated wasabi. it sounds like you have a bit more experience than i do in regards to meeting someone online. i can only speak as a girl and what she might be thinking. i got an overall vibe of interest from her to continue the conversation. since they haven't really gotten to know that much of each other yet, i personally think it might be a bit too abrupt to ask to meet up. that's just me though. sounds like you had some pretty good experience being upfront about it, so it might work for the OP. i can only speak for myself. if that was the kind of conversation that had gone back and forth between me and a guy, for him to just suddenly ask to meet up would feel a bit strange to me. dating sites are obviously different, because people are on those sites with strict intentions to meet someone to possibly end up with. if you have common interests with another person, and have had a few exchanges back and forth, a meet up makes sense. a forum is just a little different, and their conversation has obviously been pretty true to the type of forum they are on. i would want to know just a tad bit more about a guy before agreeing to meet up with him...but maybe i'm too cautious.

[Splash100]

Heey guys, cheers for response.




I would love to get a bit more personal with her, but do not know where to start

@ RedHrshyKss, who I don't think has read this, but here is a re post of what she said to me once, out the blue.
I mean, I hadn't been on for about a few days, and the last time we spoke before this was in another thread about another sub ject. The thread is called What are you thinking about right now? and here is what she put:

@NightsBeforeMe (my username)
I read about an event on at the BFI involving 70's films and there was something about Clint Eastwood and it made me think of you; I cannot remember exactly what it was (an exhibition maybe) but I will try and find the link. I mean it will be at the BFI in London
I am currantly trying to find some interesting classic film events in the UK this year'

That was really nice of her

Then, I have never posted this here, but here is a few short posts, the first is from her. Any smilies in copied are from the original posts from the forum, as I have just copied and pasted onto here

Melinda: I'm sure that a lot of you have watched this but here's a TCM tribute to the past 100 years of film that's really quite special and moving!

"She left a you tube link"

Me:That is an awesome video!

Some great moments there, especially from one of my favourite actors, Robert De Niro, also Marlon Brando

Melinda: QUOTE (Night'sBeforeMe @ May 05, 2011 09:06 pm)
"That is an awesome video!

Some great moments there, especially from one of my favourite actors, Robert De Niro, also Marlon Brando"


I knew you'd like it

It crosses much of Hollywood's greatest moments. I think there were one or two great moments missing but it's great nonetheless!


Okay, this is just an example. Obviously I am trying no0t to get carried away with anything

Cheers

[RdHrshyKss]

she obviously enjoys talking with you on this forum. and i have a feeling her suggesting the event was her way in sort of sharing something with you...something that you guys could potentially use as a means to meet. why not mention the event she references in your next message exchange? ask her if she's thinking about going to it. talk about it and then when you feel the time is right, suggest possibly meeting there. that would potentially open up the conversation into more personal topics...where she's from, what she does, etc.

[Cerby]

You are reading WAY WAY too much into her posts, finding connections where there may be none.

All this stress you've caused yourself, when you just need to send a PM that is loaded with confidence. No apologies, just do it!

You'll know pretty quick if she is interested or not.

[Splash100]

Cheers,

I remember about month ago, when I said randomly that I was thinking about a Kinks convention and she replied that she would love to go to one.

Then she posted another reply straight after and asked if I am going or if I had attended in the past. She finished it by sahing that it would be lovely to meet more fans. That COULD be hint, might not be


I am on the brink of sending her a message

[RdHrshyKss]

sounds like a hint to me. hurry up and send her a message already. she's definitely interested...

[Splash100]

sorry guys,

just a quick question......

What did she mean by this??

I ask, as I have only spoke topic related issues in the threads, and obviously we have never had a disagreemant, or fallout, and the last time we properly discussed a topic, she was cool with me, and always had been before. Last night, someone opened a thread about words.... (stupid thread) and the guy said this


Dave : I find myself using words--YES, both in my written and oral communication. That is so completely predictable, mundane and BORING. Everyone has been using words forever. Words can be so uncool.

I replied: I quite agree with you Dave

then Melinda said to him.....Very few people use the word 'yes' any more. Always 'yeah'. Guilty as charged - poor diction!

Then she quoted me of when I said "I quite a agree with you Dave"
and replied to me "
"One must agree with one's statement here. Splendid, darling." she put a grinning smily next to it, which I cant past here

I want opinions, as its bizarre, I have never insulted anyyone on there, last of all her

Or am I imagining things???????

Sorry