How do guys feel when their SO is very attractive?

[geekygirl]

So here's the deal....not to sound arrogant or anything but I know I'm very lucky in the looks department. I often get told I'm beautiful and guys hit on me a lot (I try my best not to encourage it. The attention can be flattering but it can also get annoying). My bf says that although my face is overall very attractive, it's my eyes and lips that are attention-grabbing. (Note to guys: please don't stare at a girl's lips when you're talking to her....it's very uncomfortable)! Anyways, my bf is kinda the opposite. Now before you guys get upset, let me clarify that I'm crazy about him. I love his confidence and strong personality. He's independent, hard-working, ambitious and smart. Even though he's an investment banker who works crazy hours, he's still very caring and attentive and is always there when I need him. Plus, I think he's hot (especially when he doesn't shave!!)
About a month ago, we were hanging out and the movie She's Out of My League came up. I commented on how I really liked the movie and how it was the guy's sweet personality that made the girl fall for him. My bf laughed and said "I must have a very sweet personality for you to end up with me." I didn't think much of it at the time but I dwelled on it later on and I started thinking of all the times my friends or certain family members have commented on my bf's looks. I started to dig around a bit and talked to my mom, sister and some friends. Maybe it's because I'm blinded by love but apparently, they're all surprised that we're together!! One of my friends commented that she always thinks of Beauty and the Beast when we're together (which I thought was very mean) and my sister said she'd easily rate me a 9 but my bf would barely get a 3 or 4. I know he's kinda short (he's 5'8" which seems perfect to me since I'm only 5'), starting to get bald and dark while I'm quite fair (we're South Asians and they tend to give skin color a lot of importance) but to me, he's perfect. Like I said, I'm definitely attracted to him.
Do you think this bothers him? My mom said situations like this can go in 2 directions: either the guy is super happy that he's dating 'up' and will do his best to keep the girl happy or he'll realize he's dating 'up' and soon become insecure and jealous. It's been about 4 months and so far things have been great. I know he's a bit possessive but it's a sweet level of possessiveness; he's not psychotic or anything. It's just little things e.g. if I'm talking to a guy at a party, he'll came up to me and take my hand or put his arm around me but I think that's just his way of showing that guy that I'm taken, right? I really don't care what anyone says but I'm kinda worried now. I'm sure it hurts his feelings when people say stuff like that and perhaps he's been more aware of it than I've been. Is there something I should do to assure him that I'm totally into him or should I leave things as they are? Also, what runs through your mind when you see an attractive girl with a not so attractive guy?

[Cleaver]

If you are still with him, its a good feeling he has, he has a beautiful girl, and if he knows that you love him, he going to be alright. Dont worry about what other say, there will always be critics, love is not looks, so dont worry, just dont give him a reason to feel completely insecure you know what i mean. But he is a confident man as you say so dont worry he loves you very much as you love him, love each other and nothing will break that bond

[oldskool83]

i wouldnt worry about it too much. people opoins on looks are like assholes, everyone has on. be happy you got him. i see alot of times the hot pretty boys are just dickbagtools...same for the dude with full beards lol

[doppelgaenger]

Your boyfriend sounds like he's lacking confidence or something.

My GF is very attractive. Before we started dating I thought to myself "How can I ever get a girl who is that pretty?" Since we've been dating, I've found that she really thinks I'm good-looking, because she tells me every day. It's actually kind of annoying sometimes, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Do I think I'm good-looking? Well, if I were a girl, I wouldn't sleep with myself. But everyone has different tastes.

The one time it really bothers me is when guys hit on her right in front of me, which happens a lot, but that's not her fault. She always has really entertaining put downs and rejection lines, though.

[HeartIsAching]

If he isn't getting jealous, I wouldn't worry about it.

Personally, my wife is beautiful, and by that I think she's drop-dead gorgeous... and I love it when she comes home and says "Some guy hit on me at the store today" or some such. I know who she's coming home to, and it makes me proud that she's hot enough to get hit on by other guys.


She says the same thing, so I guess we're ok.

[doppelgaenger]

On the other hand, I'm glad my GF doesn't tell me when someone hits on her, because I don't care. It's unnecessary; I think she's attractive, and I don't need the assurance of other men to know it.

[RdHrshyKss]

if you love him and he treats you well, who cares what anyone else thinks? i second what has already been said, love is not dependent on how someone looks. if things have been good up until this point, i don't think there is a need to do anything differently...just continue on with your regular couple life.

i think him coming up to you and holding your hand or putting his arm around you while you are talking to another guy is a bit childish. if he trusts you, he shouldn't feel the need to do that at all...regardless of what the other guy might be thinking or trying to do. but you've only been together for 4 months, so that should go away over time.

i wouldn't even talk to him about this because bringing it up might worry him and make him feel bad. if it becomes more of an issue (if he becomes more possessive or is constantly making insecure comments about how different you guys are on the attractive scale) then i'd possibly mention to him that he has nothing to worry about. but for now, just go on as usual.

[geekygirl]

if you love him and he treats you well, who cares what anyone else thinks? i second what has already been said, love is not dependent on how someone looks. if things have been good up until this point, i don't think there is a need to do anything differently...just continue on with your regular couple life.

i think him coming up to you and holding your hand or putting his arm around you while you are talking to another guy is a bit childish. if he trusts you, he shouldn't feel the need to do that at all...regardless of what the other guy might be thinking or trying to do. but you've only been together for 4 months, so that should go away over time.

i wouldn't even talk to him about this because bringing it up might worry him and make him feel bad. if it becomes more of an issue (if he becomes more possessive or is constantly making insecure comments about how different you guys are on the attractive scale) then i'd possibly mention to him that he has nothing to worry about. but for now, just go on as usual.

Things have been excellent up until this point and I seriously never considered this to be an issue....obviously if I was so hung up on looks, I wouldn't have started dating him in the first place so I'm sure he realizes that I'm crazy about him. I agree about the childish part......I even brought it up once (just a casual comment) and he laughed it off saying he's an investment banker so he knows when something is worth holding on to. Never decided if that was a good or bad thing....does he see me as an investment? Hmmm....I guess that's another topic but anyways, you're right; I won't say anything to him unless I feel he's becoming insecure.

[MaidenMinx]

I've had similar comments from acquaintances, but never friends and family. I think the friends and family saw how the better looking guys treated me and appreciate that my man is a sweet heart and his wonderful sense of humour makes everyone adore him.

On that note, when we are out and about, if he starts talking to a chick I will make my presence known IF she becomes flirty. I will go up and hug and kiss my man, introduce myself to the chick, throw in my favourite joke and go back to what I was doing. This may seem immature but my man went to an all boys school most of his schooling life and never learnt the flirting rules. He is a natural flirt and doesn't know how to tone it back. We're slowly working on it.

[bulrush]

To be honest, I'm not attracted to pretty girls for dating. In the past, they seem to have a severe (and I mean, severe) lack of self-confidence, are very materialistic, or are jerks. So, I never bothered dating them. I like the "girls next door" type of girl. She has to be smart and confident.

[Junket]

Men don't need to be attractive to get a woman.

They don't need to be attractive to keep them either.

Women look to what a man can provide as far as security and resources are concerned.

[pisces25]

Also, what runs through your mind when you see an attractive girl with a not so attractive guy?

Thankgod that attractive girl isn't superficial and can see through looks to what is important in someone.

On the otherhand I might see you two and think you are not so attractive and your boyfriend is the hottest guy on the planet. Point being looks are very, very subjective so never assume people are always thinking he is batting out of his league.

[toshiba]

To answer the thread title question... I would feel great, that she picked me since most guys are dicks and I am not!!!!!!1

Women look to what a man can provide as far as security and resources are concerned.

That's pretty (no pun intended) much what I was thinking.

There is no need to be on par with each other for looks, males and females don't necessarily look for the same thing.


See the fat, older, slob-looking driving the Bentley with a young hot chick in the passenger seat, think he's worried?

[geekygirl]

To be honest, I'm not attracted to pretty girls for dating. In the past, they seem to have a severe (and I mean, severe) lack of self-confidence, are very materialistic, or are jerks. So, I never bothered dating them. I like the "girls next door" type of girl. She has to be smart and confident.

I'd have to agree with you; pretty girls can be very mean. I'm a girl and sometimes even I'm hesitant to talk to a very pretty girl because they seem to have a certain attitute about them but I don't think this applies to everyone. My bf's told me several times that he likes the way I'm down to earth and don't play mind games with him so maybe you should give 'pretty' girls a chance. Of course, pretty is such a subjective term; what's attractive to one person might be unattractive to another, right?

[Charlie Boy II]

Having a hot girlfriend is the best thing ever.

1. You get to have sex with her.

2. Your mates are jealous that you get to have sex with her.

3. Everyone thinks you're a legend for bagging a hot chick and you get respect and status.

4. Other hot girls find you more appealing because you've been "certified", so if you break up with the hot chick you've got, it's easier to get another one.