Girlfriend May Have Given Me Herpes

[xhayatoxx]

In a nutshell, my girlfriend most likely gave me herpes. She is the only girl I have been with in the past 12 months, and I was sick this week and woke up and had these cold sores and I went to the doctor and they confirmed that it was indeed Herpes. I tried to discuss this with my girlfriend, and she said...

"Stop accusing me of giving you herpes. I didn't f*cking give you it. I'm tired of you acting like such a d*ck."

Okay, for starters I treat this girl like royalty. Secondly, I wasn't implying that she gave me herpes, I was merely exploring all the possibilities. Before we met, she was with five different guys hooking up. Now, I explained this situation to my friend and he said I have no right accusing her apparently, and I am "VICTIMIZING" her and making her feel bad. Is this true? Am I doing something wrong? She is my partner and it's only fair that I discuss this with her isn't it? Am I just supposed to keep this to myself? How am I "Victimizing" my girlfriend? I am honestly just trying to figure this ordeal out. By no means am I trying to cause any problems!

[MerryH]

Aren't all cold sores some strain of herpes? [url=http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001324.htm]Herpes simplex: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia[/url]

If her reaction was "Stop accusing me of giving you herpes. I didn't f*cking give you it. I'm tired of you acting like such a d*ck.", then you probably were making her feel bad and victimizing her in some way, yes. Of course this is something you should discuss with her, but if you bring it up constantly or try to get some kind of confession out of her, then you are being a dick.

So she was with a whole five guys before you? How many girls have you been with (kissed) before her?

[doppelgaenger]

You are victimizing here. If this really was a concern for you, you would have taken more precautions before you had sex with her. You can't put all the blame on her. Both of you should have gone and got tested. What if she was pregnant? "Damn it! She went and got herself pregnant with my sperm!" You need to man up and take responsibility for your actions.

Now it's your responsibility to inform any future partners that you are herpes positive.

[xhayatoxx]

You are victimizing here. If this really was a concern for you, you would have taken more precautions before you had sex with her. You can't put all the blame on her. Both of you should have gone and got tested. What if she was pregnant? "Damn it! She went and got herself pregnant with my sperm!" You need to man up and take responsibility for your actions.

Now it's your responsibility to inform any future partners that you are herpes positive.

Nowhere did I state that we had sex. I caught it from KISSING her! I don't understand how you guys expect me to approach this situation though. What else am I supposed to do? The sensible thing to do in this situation is bring it to your partners attention and let them know what's happening. She has this tendency to take everything the wrong way and she gets mad over trivial things. I don't think it would have mattered how I phrased it. She would have still accused me of 'blaming her.' What else should I have done?

[xhayatoxx]

Aren't all cold sores some strain of herpes? If her reaction was "Stop accusing me of giving you herpes. I didn't f*cking give you it. I'm tired of you acting like such a d*ck.", then you probably were making her feel bad and victimizing her in some way, yes. Of course this is something you should discuss with her, but if you bring it up constantly or try to get some kind of confession out of her, then you are being a dick.

So she was with a whole five guys before you? How many girls have you been with (kissed) before her?

I was with only but one girl before her. Thats it. I honestly tried to calmly approach the situation in a delicate manner and try to talk to her about it. She is just like that by nature. She takes everything personally and overreacts. I just dont understand how that is on me. I didn't know how else to address this issue to her.

[doppelgaenger]

That clarifies a whole bunch. Why didn't you just say cold sores instead of herpes? Jesus, you make it sound like she hid some kind of STD from you. You don't even know who gave it to you. In the title of this thread, you say she *may* have given it to you, implying doubt, and you're already accusing her and judging her based on her sexual history, and then you say "Nowhere did I state that we had sex. I caught it from KISSING her!". That's pretty lame.

You know, when you point your finger at somebody, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

[xhayatoxx]

That clarifies a whole bunch. Why didn't you just say cold sores instead of herpes? Jesus, you make it sound like she hid some kind of STD from you. You don't even know who gave it to you. In the title of this thread, you say she *may* have given it to you, implying doubt, and you're already accusing her and judging her based on her sexual history, and then you say "Nowhere did I state that we had sex. I caught it from KISSING her!". That's pretty lame.

Cold sores are essentially a form of herpes, so in other words yes it was an STD. Plus, it's not like I held it against her. I wasn't even mad at her. I was simply trying to find out what the deal was! I didn't say anything that could have upset her. I never said to her "You gave me STD's." All I said was, "There is a chance I may have contracted something from you. It's not 100% but I am just considering all the possibility's." If she was normal, she would have understood instead of getting mad at me.

[doppelgaenger]

Cold sores are essentially a form of herpes, so in other words yes it was an STD. Plus, it's not like I held it against her. I wasn't even mad at her. I was simply trying to find out what the deal was! I didn't say anything that could have upset her. I never said to her "You gave me STD's." All I said was, "There is a chance I may have contracted something from you. It's not 100% but I am just considering all the possibility's." If she was normal, she would have understood instead of getting mad at me.

Cold sore ARE a herpes simplex, I did not say otherwise. When people say "I have herpes," they normally mean genital herpes. So if you don't have cold sores on your dick, you should be thanking your lucky stars, because cold sores can infect the genital area during oral sex. I suppose that shouldn't be a problem since you said "Nowhere did I state that we had sex." Do you even know if *she* has herpes? Has she been tested? Maybe you infected her. Stop pointing your fücking finger and act like an adult.

[HeartIsAching]

Lots of people get the occasional cold sore, but they don't have the STD "Herpes" on their genitalia. Same virus, not the same thing.

Don't go down on her when you have an open sore.

[doppelgaenger]

Lots of people get the occasional cold sore, but they don't have the STD "Herpes" on their genitalia. Same virus, not the same thing.

Don't go down on her when you have an open sore.

Even when a lesion is not present, it is still contagious, though low risk.

[reeba]

Your gf is right, you are a dick. But she forgot the adjective - idiot. She should get rid of you. First because you are an idiot, second because you went and accused her of something that is very likely not true.

I'm no STD expert, but here is my two cents worth. There are two types of herpes. One is genital (you don't have that one), and the other typically shows up as cold sores. And by the way, not all cold sores are herpes.

So lets say you do have herpes. Why did it show up now? Because your immune system was down because you were sick, thus it couldn't fight off the herpes. Or maybe you were really stressed too about something. So in summary, you could have been carrying this for years, and not until now did your immune system give it an opening!

Where can you catch this type of herpes? Sharing chapstick. An infected relative smooched you as a baby (or were you one of those unkissable babies?). etc.

[lostnconfused22]

What if she was pregnant? "Damn it! She went and got herself pregnant with my sperm!" You need to man up and take responsibility for your actions.

hahaha love it... so true tho.

[vashti]

There are 2 types of herpes, and both types appear on the mouth and/or on genitalia, depending on what you were doing with the infected person when you contracted it. About 80% of American adults have the type that causes cold sores. Try to keep some perspective here. She may or may not have been infected, but it is so common you may never know. In fact, she may not have it at all, and you may be putting her at risk.

[maxmax]

Cold sores are just cold sores. Not nice, but nothing serious.

Just use some Zovirax and don't kiss anyone until they're gone ...

[ShellyZ]

Cold sores are easy to get. You can get them by sharing a drink or a toothbrush with someone. Direct contact with another person's mouth is not necessary. I've had cold sores since I was 7 years old, and believe me, I didn't kiss anyone or have any romantic contact with anyone until I was 14. Everyone in my family gets cold sores; I probably shared a soda with my brother when I was a kid, and that's how I ended up with them. It's not like an STD, which can only be transmitted through a direct exchange of bodily fluids. Who cares who you got it from? That's like going on a mission to find out who you caught a cold from. It's not a big deal, just take a Lysine supplement, put some Abreva on it, and don't kiss anyone until it goes away.