is this true in most cases, or false?

[zmoore]

i know i have been posting on here alot, but i have soooo many questions. so thanks to all that have been answering!
so me and my ex dated for 18 months and then had a mutual break up. it went down pretty well, even tho i didnt want it to happen. so for right now, im going to give her some space like she asked, and then later on in the year, try reasking her out. i figure i might as well try, because theres always the chance she'll take me back. whats to lose, huh? but heres the thing thats bothering me. ive heard people say that when they get back together with their ex, its not the same. like the feelings arent there and it doesnt last long. is this true? is this bound to happen or can we be as happy as we use to be?

[Cerby]

Hi zmoore, most people in these forums are daily posters, there isn't really a need to create a new thread everytime you have a similar thought to your last one. If you bump or add to your last one, people will still read, and still post.

Plus, if you keep one thread alive, its easier for the people helping you to continue helping you without getting confused on your threads.

As for your question, I've only really reconciled with an ex once, we dated for 2 years, broke up for a month or so, and realized we missed each other. But after that things just weren't the same, we put on the same faces, but never got back to the level we were at. It ended a few months later, for good.

[zmoore]

thanks for the advice. im new so i dont really know quite how to work the site to the fullest yet but i will make sure to do that next time, thanx!

[devonbrown]

To answer your question, it really depends on what the issues were which caused the breakup in the first place. If those issued are resolved, then there is a chance that it could work again. If not, then you two will always go back to those issues and be thinking about them, etc. That is what makes it tough.

But, if you don't mind a little advice, don't be thinking about asking her out later in the year. Live for now. If you tell yourself you are going to wait X number of days and then ask her out again, you are closing your mind and vision off from the possibility of other women, maybe even someone who would be a better fit for you. Don't do that to yourself.

Good luck.

[Capricorn2112]

I think it can go both ways....
Sometimes being apart can help you learn to appreciate each other. Things may be different, as you both become more willing to resolve your issues in order to save the relationship. Although... she has already decided that she is not willing to work on these issues, so I'm not sure if this would be the case in your situation. You're best off focusing on yourself while you give her her space. Go on living your life, not turning down any opportunities because she is still on your mind. If she contacts you down the road to reconcile, consider it then. You may already be happy elsewhere. Also consider that she is probably actively looking for someone else, so why wouldn't you?

[kageri]

A friend of mine nearly got divorced after 8 years. They were separated and he was dating someone else with her investigating the process of divorce and going to the courthouse to fill out papers. I'm not sure what happened but they worked it out and they've been back together for 2 years. They appear to be just as happy as they were before if not more so since some things were settled that they'd been arguing about for years.

[Pilotdxb]

Just move on, you can have the same feelings you had wi this girl with another farther down the road.

In my experience, reconciliations are doomed to fail, especially if the breakup was over an issue of trust.