Silly to be bothered?

[Gratedwasabi]

Hello,

So, I'm not sure what to think about this (or namely, my reaction to it.)

The girl I've been dating, I guess about ten dates so far, is wonderful. Beautiful, I enjoy being around her, talking to her, and she's just a generally wonderful person. I love spending time with her. Our chemistry is fantastic. There are two little things that I don't think should bother me much that, simply, ARE.

One. She hates public displays of affection. Even a quick kiss. I find it annoying that I have to make sure no one is around if I want to kiss her. I'm a very hands on/affectionate guy and it just bothers me!

Two. Attention. She lavishes me with attention when we're together.. but when we're not? I'm lucky to get a text or two (EXTREMELY brief ones) between dates. No phone calls, ever. I know it's jut because she's independent and has nothing to do with her feelings for me, but it bothers me. I like to chat, especially with the few people I actually ENJOY talking to. So it bums me out that she just doesn't like to chat with me outside of our dates.

How silly am I for letting those two things bother me? It's REALLY starting to. She's away for the weekend and I know if I don't text her I might get a text that says "Hope you're having a great weekend!" But nothing else. And very possibly not even that.

[Charlie Boy II]

That stuff wouldn't bother me personally, but ultimately it's a matter for you. The main thing is to accept that's how she is and make a decision from there.

[tremolo]

Phone calls - does she not like talking on the phone, or does she just not initiate calls? I never called my last boyfriend because he was always busy or I didn't want to interrupt things, but I absolutely lived for his calls. I adored talking to him... maybe she loves chatting to you too.

[Gratedwasabi]

Phone calls - does she not like talking on the phone, or does she just not initiate calls? I never called my last boyfriend because he was always busy or I didn't want to interrupt things, but I absolutely lived for his calls. I adored talking to him... maybe she loves chatting to you too.

She has mentioned that she doesn't feel at all like talking on the phone when she gets home from work. I try to initiate conversations with her but they die really quickly, over text I mean, as she takes a while to respond and is always rather curt.

[tremolo]

Hmmm. That would bother me too. Plus the no-PDA thing. I wouldn't like that either.

[surfhb]

If it bothers you, its a problem. She either needs to change (which she wont) or you do?

[Gratedwasabi]

If it bothers you, its a problem. She either needs to change (which she wont) or you do?

Well, I know a big part of it stems from her never having been in a serious relationship (if anything that was really a relationship at all) before. She's never had sex. But she has said she feels differently for me than any other guy she's tried dating.

I think there's a decent chance she'll get more chatty as we get more intimate.. at least I hope so. The PDA thing I can live with. I don't know for a fact that more innocent things, ie hand holding, bother her (she's initiated that once or twice) but just that kissing is definitely a no. I guess I'll just need to talk to her about it.