Sex toys + nosey in law + stupid wife = hilarity/drama

[Incognito]

So I moved a couple of weeks ago and my "cabinet o' pleasure" had to be moved also. The wife's sister asked her what was in it and the wife replied that she didn't know. In law says "what? you don't know?...... Incognito has secrets". I didn't pay much attention at the time, but the next day the wife starts asking what was in the cabinet.

After blowing proverbial smoke up her rear for a day or two I really thought about it. As per my personal mantra I don't do things that I wouldn't want to admit to doing or things that I am ashamed of. I certainly am not ashamed of my toys and have recommended them to many guys in similar situations. I then walked into the room and gave her the key. I told her to go and look for herself. She wouldn't. She said "she'd take my word for whatever was in there". [???] Yeah I was stumped too, but told her after failing to get her to look for herself. She didn't seem phased at all, in fact she seemed a bit relieved.

Then a few days ago a minor situation happens and she ends up telling me by text message that she didn't like what happened, but then throws in "... and I get more and more disgusted every time I see that cabinet... keep the marriage bed without defilement huh?....". So it does bother her, a lot. All I can do is laugh though. I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. I sent her a text about the other thing and then added that using a piece of silicone isn't cheating. No response. Then she texts me two days later about how I "haven't checked up on them" and [sarcastically] how "she hopes I'm having a good time". Really? If I'm out of town shouldn't someone be checking up on me? Why would I contact someone when this bs is going down and ruin my vacation? And why would you send me a text just to be negative and stir up more crap? You women.... tsk tsk tsk.

[IndiReloaded]

What's the big deal? Do you keep scalps of previous GFs in there? LOL, I would have looked for sure and then compared notes.

[Incognito]

Exactly. I wanted her to look for herself, but she didn't want to. Again [???]. The only things in there are toys and lube. The cabinet has been in our closets for years but she never really pressed about knowing what was in it. Now that she knows she gets upset even though it is the same cabinet she's seen forever.

[IndiReloaded]

She's upset w/o even knowing the contents? LOL, its a pity you can't harvest that active imagination in more productive ways. Oh well, tell her she should make her own cabinet full of feminine hygiene products or something if she brings it up again.

What's the worst thing you have in there, Incog? Not that there really is such a thing as 'worst' sex toys. Most of them are rather benign, IMO.

[Incognito]

LOL, worst thing? I'd actually call it the best, but it is a Japanese ass/vagina replica. It probably weighs about 10 lbs and is very realistic. Most of my toys are on [URL="http://www.toydemon.com"]http://www.toydemon.com[/URL] if you look up 'meiki'.

[KingZ]

I keep Indi in my closet. I'd never want my girlfriend to find out.

[MaidenMinx]

Ok, personally I'd be annoyed if my partner had an artificial arse and pussy in the cupboard. I accept that he masturbates but if he needed something to help him masturbate, well isn't that what he is with me for? Sure toys can be fun but I've always been of the opinion that if you are in a commited relationship any toy use should be mutually enjoyed.

My man has a sports bag full of old magazines. I knew about this before I got together with him and have never been fond of it's existence but it's kept in a cupboard I rarely use and it is very much an out of sight out of mind thing. I know he continues to look at porn but not knowing when helps immensely. He has his own private profile on the computer so my curiosity can't piss me off (eg if I found out he'd been looking at a short busty brunette before having sex with me, I know I'd be hurt. What I don't know can't hurt me).

Your wife has 2 choices, to accept that you do this and get over it, or leave you. I suggest that you move the cabinet to somewhere she isn't going to see it so often, but make sure you tell her you have just moved it. She doesn't need to think it's been gotten rid of to stumble across it one day.

I do think though you should seriously think about whether or not you really need them. You have unearthed a discomfort in your wife and you need to address that. I honestly do not understand what is wrong with just your hand.

[Incognito]

^^^ Well I'm willing to bet that you have some sort of sex drive. My wife doesn't. Lets put it this way, I could cheat, leave, or stay and simply use toys. I really think it is the lesser of the evils.

[MaidenMinx]

Ahhhhh well then she either needs to suck it up or put out. I have very little sex drive but I am aware of that fact that I need to put some sort of effort in. My partner isn't completely starved, on average once a fortnight or so. Just enough to keep him from needing toys I guess. :p

Though I would never tell her to suck it up or put out. Is there anyway you can treat the situation with a little more sensitivity or discretion?

[Incognito]

Been there, done that, not interested anymore...

[MerryH]

So...your wife is a pretty big prude, right? Maybe all she knows about "sex toys" is that they're shaped like a phallus and are meant to be inserted. Maybe she thinks you're sticking things in your butthole and she's kind of squicked out by it.

I have no idea what you should do if that's the case, if you even care to bother.

[MaidenMinx]

Dude, I just read one of your blogs, and seriously, I don't know why you haven't left. Sure integrity and honour are important but so is happiness! She isn't going to just magically develop a sex drive, she has to work on that problem.

[qwertz]

Incog is a special case, i think every member who knows his story has sympathy for him.

You should let her catch you using one of your toys, then report back!

[misombra]

i just can't get my eyes to roll back far enough.

[steviej]

Dude, I just read one of your blogs, and seriously, I don't know why you haven't left. Sure integrity and honour are important but so is happiness! She isn't going to just magically develop a sex drive, she has to work on that problem.

I've also just read the blogs and the thread thats linked in there, and i have to agree - GET OUT OF THERE!

You seem blinded by some misguided sense of loyalty or honour that just isn't founded. To what end? So you can die miserable but say 'well i never left her or cheated on her no matter how grim the situation!'

Put yourself first for once, seriously!

Also, i think you're only in your late 20's but you've had a vasectomy? Hate kids that much?