I hate being alone

[98db]

Broke up with my GF just over 2 months ago and after some introspection, I realized that I have not been alone in nearly 14 years. I have been binge dating for several weeks (mostly to forget about my Ex) and now I am starting to get worried. With my last GF, we clicked so well in the beginning and the connection was so strong, that I've been comparing all my recent daliances to that experience and few of them have come close to even matching that energy.

The few exceptions were with a girl in a 10+ yr LTR and the other was with a girl 10+ yrs younger than me. Great girls, great chemistry, but neither of these relationships would have a snowball's chance in hell Yes, I am actually more interested in the relationship potential and I am at odds with myself because I don't want to be the 'other' guy and the younger girl has so much more 'energy' than I do.

Any other serial LTR sufferers out there now how to cope with being alone? Is it wrong to just want to have someone to share your life with?

[Nicholas_V]

Is it wrong to just want to have someone to share your life with?

Of course it is not wrong. You should though learn to have a life outside a relationship (friends, buddies, social contacts etc). Many of us make the mistake to focus 99% on our (former?) other half and forget about anyone else around us. And then when it is over we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere.

The chances are that you will find someone who makes you just as happy as your former gf - if not more. Most people do. But you may not be ready yet for it. In which case, binge dating will only make you feel worse. Take some time and build a social life - that doesn't spin around romance.

[JeyGant]

Here's how I cope with it.
I don't. It sucks, and its a really tough spot to be in.
People tell me, I have to sit around and wait for the woman of my dreams, but everyone else I know is freaking engaged and having kids and shit.
Its really hard, and I'm sorry I can't help, but I DO feel your pain.

I guess we'll have our day someday.

[maxmax]

You need to learn to enjoy your own company.

That is pretty much an essential life skill.

You'll be happier for it, and you'll find other people will be happier being around you too.

[98db]

What do you all think about needing that 'connection'? I'm not talking about love at first sight, or lust or anything like that. For me, I've found that translates to us being comfortable with each other from the beginning, with very little nervousness or awkwardness.

I just feel this is something that lasting relationships tend to have from the very beginning. I also feel, that it is something rare which is why I typically do not hesitate to go 'all in' when a connection becomes apparent to me, sometimes despite my better judgement.

[sadie_genie]

No, is not wrong to want a sense of belonging. Everyone wants that; it is natural. Actively seeking for a person who accepts you and have a connection with you will increase your chances.

[VincenzoG91]

Here's how I cope with it.
I don't. It sucks, and its a really tough spot to be in.
People tell me, I have to sit around and wait for the woman of my dreams, but everyone else I know is freaking engaged and having kids and shit.
Its really hard, and I'm sorry I can't help, but I DO feel your pain.

I guess we'll have our day someday.

You shouldn't wait around, because women aren't attracted to passive guys. But if being alone is so awful, then there is something missing from your life besides another person. You should be able to be happy without relying on someone else to provide your happiness. Otherwise, you have nothing to offer a potential partner except smothering and oppressive clinginess.

[kenny12]

try to be happy on your own. there is nothing wrong in wanting to share your life with someone, but often such matters are not determined solely by us.

i do believe in having a comfortable level of connection before deciding to commit to a relationship

[JustMoved]

I'm sure its been said to you before, but enjoy being single! Live it up and do the things you want to do! By living your own life the possibility of finding someone who lives a similar life is much greater.

[abn25]

LTR's of that length of time is like death, the death of a relationship and now the fun part of figuring out who you are, what you want out of life and the realization that you wasted time. But it will get better and try to keep a social life as much as possible. Do you have any hobbies you enjoy?
This wont be easy but again with time it you will heal. Someone once said and i beleive this to be true: tis better to have loved and lost.....

[98db]

I have lots of hobbies and lots of people to spend time with. I've even rekindled relationships with old female friends just to have some female companionship. But, at the end of the day, I just miss not having someone to come home to.

[VincenzoG91]

Adopt a dog or a cat.