is he interested? Please need advice!

[mary sue]

hello,
I have an external college tutor who usually always goes out with his students after the last course.
After the course was ended the only person interested in having drinks with him was me. So we went out, talked and drank
for about three hours. then he went to see a play- I didn't have a ticket so he went out of his way to get me one. I'm usually very good in noticing if men are interested in me. in this case I really felt that he was attracted to me (using body language, touching my knee, etc). After the play we had one more drink and then went to another party- where we kinda got separated, but I was noticing that he was looking for me. then he went outside to smoke a cigarette, a woman I met and I joined. when we got downstairs he was talking to this very flirtatious man who quickly started hitting on me. when he noticed that, he turned around and walked upstairs. when i got upstairs again he was gone- without saying good bye...
next day I sent him an email asking if he wants to get a coffee or a drink and also telling him that I had a great and fun evening- his response was very short and telling me that he was already back in his hometown.
now my question: because we both had "a few" beers, and I guess men can be very territorial, do you think that he was pissed that I was talking to the other guy? could it be that he feels his male pride got hurt? The distance between our cities should not be such a big problem. I really want to write him another email, telling him that I would like to see him again. what do you think?
thanks for reading this!
I also need to add that he is more of a shy man- and not really a "womanizer". If i tell him that I like him, it might flatter him or make him scared that an attractive woman shows interest in him.
what do you think?

[Gratedwasabi]

Meh, you gave him a chance and he turned it down. It sure sounds like he was being jealous but if he's so jealous and moody that he won't accept your invitation, do you really want to date him?

[mary sue]

the reason he turned down my invitation was that he was already in his hometown before I sent him the email with the invitation. and yes, i would like to date him...
my friends suggested to send him another email- I'm really thinking about it and wonder if I can give him some kind of "hint" that I really liked him and would like to see him again.
what do u think?

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like you guys spent SEVERAL hours together, talking, drinking, and he went out of his way to get you a ticket to the play. Sounds like you his pride was damaged by your interaction with the "flirtatious" guy. I wonder, how exactly did that go down? Anyways, how might you feel if a chick walked up and started flirting with him in front of you? Before you say that would be fine and you'd welcome the challenge, remember, you came here to find out if he's into you enough to justify you sending him another email. Does he wear his heart on his sleeve? Is it a silly thing for him to get discouraged by? Maybe and yes, but I'd bet you might react in a similar way. He fears rejection just as much as you do. What do you have to lose in sending the email? You'll never know unless you send the email. And for what it's worth, I think it pretty crystal clear that he was into you.

[Gratedwasabi]

the reason he turned down my invitation was that he was already in his hometown before I sent him the email with the invitation. and yes, i would like to date him...
my friends suggested to send him another email- I'm really thinking about it and wonder if I can give him some kind of "hint" that I really liked him and would like to see him again.
what do u think?

Then send him another email. But do not HINT. Just SAY IT. Pretend you're an adult and able to express adult feelings and TELL HIM that you like him and would like to go on a date.

Don't hint, it's just playing games.. which he probably thinks you do since you were flirting with this other dude after your evening with him.

[mary sue]

thanks for the replies- but I want to make one thing clear- I was not flirting with the other guy- I only had eyes for HIM! that guy said that it was my crushes birthday and wanted all of us to sing happy birthday to him- which probably also made him a bit insecure- that seems to be part of his nature. Once again I was NOT flirting! Of course I want to tell him that I like him- a lot! I'm just afraid he might feel pushed into a corner... I really, really like him and don't want to blow my chances.

[pisces25]

Just send him an email and ask him. The worst he is going to say is no. If he has already made up his mind about you it doesn't matter what you say his answer will be the same. Direct approach is best.

[mary sue]

ok- I sent him an email!
I told him that I was a bit hurt that he didn't say goodbye and that the other guy was really annoying to me and that I wanted to spend more time with him instead.
I also told him that I'm attracted to him and that I would like to see him again and get to know him better.
cross ur fingers, that it won't be too much for him... Damn after such a long time I finally like someone again and than he has to leave town the very next day.

[ConniptionFit]

ok- I sent him an email!
I told him that I was a bit hurt that he didn't say goodbye and that the other guy was really annoying to me and that I wanted to spend more time with him instead.
I also told him that I'm attracted to him and that I would like to see him again and get to know him better.
cross ur fingers, that it won't be too much for him... Damn after such a long time I finally like someone again and than he has to leave town the very next day.

Why do you want to be with a guy who is so immature, he has to leave you in the lurch without so much as saying goodbye simply because another guy was flirting with you?

[mary sue]

ok, sent him the email yesterday- got a reply today.
he wrote that he won't be a lot in his hometown cos he travels a lot in summer.
which basically means he is not interested in seeing me again. makes me sad- i hope one day I will find or he will find me- the one who feels the same about me as I do for him.

[Wakeup]

Of course one day you'll find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Stop the negative thoughts because what you put out is what you get back so start thinking positively.

Be proud that you had the courage to do what you did and find out right away the truth so that you can now move on from him and concentrate on doing fun things for yourself and learning that you don't need to have a man in your life to be happy and satisfied. When you are in that state, that is when you will find your partner and mate.

Good wishes.

[mary sue]

andererseits, jetzt wo ich diese beschissene email bekommen habe bzg habe keine zeit im sommer- wuerd ich ihm ja gerne schreiben: kein problem hab auch im herbst zeit (bin flexibel)

[smackie9]

A guy like that, that sees it as a deal breaker if you were talking to another guy and not him, is a turd. He cast judgement on you right at that moment that you are not up to his standards. For one thing he was rude for even leaving you there without saying goodbye or if you needed a ride home, etc. It was rude of him to just up and leave you there. He didn't act like a gentleman in my eyes. Don't waste your time on this "too sensitive" guy. He dissed ya at the party and he dissed ya in the email....so no he isn't interested in you anymore.

[Wakeup]

andererseits, jetzt wo ich diese beschissene email bekommen habe bzg habe keine zeit im sommer- wuerd ich ihm ja gerne schreiben: kein problem hab auch im herbst zeit (bin flexibel)

Don't contact him again in the Autumn. Let him contact you. If he's interested he'll contact you after his busy summer is over. Get on with your life and keep looking for someone else who interests you.

Good luck