Sneaky beaky

[Simonsaysyes]

Bring it up to him. If it was innocent he would have mentioned it to you. he is most likely cheating on you.

[Jll2309]

Well I asked why he hadn't mentioned the messages. He said he doesn't understand why this is such an issue. He's been friends with her for years she's just a friend. I pushed and said it was hurtful to me that he seemed to be doing it in secret he got annoyed and said since when did he have to report back to me on everyone he speaks to. He messages male friends and texts them and doesn't mention it because it's not important. He's not had lunch with her and can't believe after everything he does for all of us I can be so distrustful of him. We're not even talking now. He's found out that I looked into what would happen if I left him with regards to child support. So now I'm the bad guy. This just gets worse all this hassle. I hope we can move on from this soon it's driving me mad.

[hello1]

Well I asked why he hadn't mentioned the messages. He said he doesn't understand why this is such an issue. He's been friends with her for years she's just a friend. I pushed and said it was hurtful to me that he seemed to be doing it in secret he got annoyed and said since when did he have to report back to me on everyone he speaks to. He messages male friends and texts them and doesn't mention it because it's not important. He's not had lunch with her and can't believe after everything he does for all of us I can be so distrustful of him. We're not even talking now. He's found out that I looked into what would happen if I left him with regards to child support. So now I'm the bad guy. This just gets worse all this hassle. I hope we can move on from this soon it's driving me mad.

You know you shook sense into him so I wouldn't feel bad at all. Seems me if he was deleting messages something was going on at least in his mind so don't feel guilty at confronting him. Hopefully you scared him realise what he could lose

[HeartIsAching]

^^^Exactly. He wouldn't be hiding it if he didn't know it was wrong.

[Riku]

No woman would be ok that her hubby speaks to a friend? I've more trust in my relationship than most then He's not sexting her I've read all of the 20 mails he sent her and her replys in none of these is there hint of them being anything other than friendly. It's less than 3 mails a week. They both work close by and if it was a guy he was talking about meeting then this wouldn't even have crossed my mind. All the mails are mainly about her ex and the new guys she's dating and the friends she's making now she's a single mum. I have been jealous in the past, we both have. I'm not some stupid kid and we both know that I wouldn't stand for any nonsense I get offers from other guys all the time. I'm not afraid to leave if he cheats. But I'm not going to over react over a friendship. He hasn't changed his password and if he did I know I can ask to see his account anytime. I'm not sure why he felt the need to not mention this, maybe it wasn't a conscious decision and it just didn't crop up.

So if you have complete trust and are completely ok with what he's doing and think nothing is wrong with it why did you come here and post?

I don't think you should have said anything about it IMO. 40 messages in two months? That really isn't anything and especially if it was all platonic, you created an issue where there was none. If I talk to someone I was friends with that I haven't spoken to in a while it doesn't cross my mind to go reveal that information to my significant other. It was innocent in his mind and is why he didn't mention it, now it's blown way out of proportion.

[uklfstyle]

When people do things in secret is because they know they shouldn't be doing it.

Yes honesty :d