Girlfriend wants space.

[Gaz1980]

Hi, I had been dating an older woman for 4 months until recently. Three weeks ago we were discussing just how nice and happy we both were. She even mentioned booking a holiday that night for us. At this point her (girl)friend contacted saying she had left her partner, could she come round. I went so they could talk in peace (putting off our plans for the evening).
Since that night my partner has said she wants space and has been very offish with me ie not responding to calls, wont tell me where I stand etc..
Space has never been an issue and to be fair, we spend a lot of time with our own friends and it is her that normally wants to come meet me after.

Since that night she only sends the odd text but nothing like it used to be... We still speak now and again and I even went round to collect a few things for work she said she couldn't kiss me because it hurt her. She says she misses me!!!!

I have asked her this week where I stand / if there is anything I can help her with / even if she wants to split (giving her the easy option out). Her response is to just say "I JUST NEED TIME" She has also said that there is nobody else and she was testing my reaction to her wanting "space"

Any suggestions please as to whats going on and what I should do......ideally if any women have a point of view it would be most helpful...thanks.

[VincenzoG91]

If she wants space, throw her out the airlock.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Second that. Stop initiating any contact.

Don't just sit around staring at the phone either, go look for other women. Treat this break time as you being single.

[Boisdevie]

Wants space = it's over

[devonbrown]

Who knows what she is thinking... If she is "testing" you, then there is no way to win. She shouldn't be playing games like that.

I do agree to cut off your attempts at contact. Let her contact you. Continue to live your life normally. Don't let her control your happiness.

Good luck.

[smackie9]

Make the decision for her....walk.

[Cerby]

Wants space = it's over

Disagree with this, but agree with everyone else.

Do your own thing and put her out of your mind, there might very well be something going on that she can't talk about and just wants to be alone.

But if the case is that she is just testing you to see how you react, then she is just playing games and that is complete bullsh*t.

[ConniptionFit]

Hi, I had been dating an older woman for 4 months until recently. Three weeks ago we were discussing just how nice and happy we both were. She even mentioned booking a holiday that night for us. At this point her (girl)friend contacted saying she had left her partner, could she come round. I went so they could talk in peace (putting off our plans for the evening).
Since that night my partner has said she wants space and has been very offish with me ie not responding to calls, wont tell me where I stand etc..
Space has never been an issue and to be fair, we spend a lot of time with our own friends and it is her that normally wants to come meet me after.

Since that night she only sends the odd text but nothing like it used to be... We still speak now and again and I even went round to collect a few things for work she said she couldn't kiss me because it hurt her. She says she misses me!!!!

I have asked her this week where I stand / if there is anything I can help her with / even if she wants to split (giving her the easy option out). Her response is to just say "I JUST NEED TIME" She has also said that there is nobody else and she was testing my reaction to her wanting "space"

Any suggestions please as to whats going on and what I should do......ideally if any women have a point of view it would be most helpful...thanks.

What's the matter with you that you want to be with a girl who has to test you?

And, yes, Space = It's Over.

[flynhayn]

Awww man.... the old "my friend just broke up so now I think I wanna be single too" move. I can relate, dude.... same thing happened to me once. But everyone is right, no use sitting around waiting for a result. Drop this thing for now (but don't rule out dropping it for good already) and do your own thing.

[Gaz1980]

Cheers guys for your responses. I understand completely where you're all coming from. Dont get me wrong, I have strong feelings for her but Im not hanging around, even though my gut instinct is that she does literally just need space. I had my life before hand and if needs must, I will have one after (without her)
I guess we'll just see what happens from here on in......phone number / facebook etc all deleted.

Why cant she just be straight. Anyway, thanks again. I'll keep you posted.

[Gaz1980]

Cerby, thanks. Im not sure its "only" to test me, I think she has a few commitment issues from her past ie the last person she got in with and committed to, battered her.....it might be just to see if I respect her enough to give her the space without too much fuss?????

[ConniptionFit]

Cerby, thanks. Im not sure its "only" to test me, I think she has a few commitment issues from her past ie the last person she got in with and committed to, battered her.....it might be just to see if I respect her enough to give her the space without too much fuss?????

She is the classic example of a woman who is emotionally unavailable. She cannot get close to a guy. She either needs to have a guy who doesn't treat her well, or, if she finds once who does treat her well, she will need to sabotage the relationship as she has done with you.

[Gaz1980]

Folks thanks for the advice.....shes now gone!