WhAt i DiD fOe lUv

[loveforum]

********** Part 33 **********
June 15, 1999
Ji Won was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely. Whenever he sees Min Sung and Kyung Hee together, it disturbs him. He could’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the picture. Then a knock came on his door. “Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was.
I entered Ji Won’s room holding a tray of food. Now these days since he was in his isolated stage, he didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take care of him the best I could with the time I still had left. “Hyung? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.”
Ji Won turned around to see who it was. It was Min Sung. “Just put it down.” Min Sung placed it down before Ji Won. Ramyun, mee-yuk-gook, rice, and curry. ‘How does he know I like these food?’ Ji Won thought. “Take it away I don’t want it.”
“But hyung, you haven’t ate for days. Please eat a little bit.”
“I said take it away!” Ji Won yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Min Sung. Ji Won and Min Sung stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Min Sung leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left. Ji Won fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Min Sung was too much like Mina that it was driving him crazy. Ji Won knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Min Sung’s room to apologize.
What a mess, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself into a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close. Must be Kyung Hee, I thought as I began to put my clothes on.
Ji Won entered Min Sung’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Min Sung anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Min Sung must be in the bathroom. Ji Won opened the door slightly and saw Min Sung’s bare back. He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but then his mind began to sort out what he had just saw. Min Sung’s back had an ‘E’ on it. Ji Won breaks the open the door to the bathroom.
I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Ji Won in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him. “Hyung!” I said surprised. “What are you doing here?” I caught Ji Won looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought. “Hyung, I can explain-“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to.
Ji Won stared at Min Sung’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Min Sung’s shirt finding that Min Sung was indeed a woman. Min Sung stood still, stunned at what Ji Won had just did. He turned Min Sung’s back to him. There it was. His ‘E.’ “M...Mina?” he asked uncertainly, afraid to hope.
I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from. Letting Ji Won see me exposed or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Ji Won but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Ji Won across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me. “How could you do this to me Ji Won?” I asked him screaming. “Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door.
Ji Won was in shock. Mina, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out. “Mina, don’t! Is it really you?”
I glared at him. As if he knew, Ji Won took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself. “Yes Ji Won, it is me Mina.”
“But I thought you were dead.”
“I didn’t die. I faked my death.”
“Why?”
“So I could go to Korea.”
“You came all the way from Hawaii to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?” Ji Won looked at Mina, who had tears coming out of her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but then Mina pushed his hand away. “That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join SechsKies.” Ji Won stared at Mina as she continued talking. “After you left me all alone in Hawaii, my life became so miserable. Not because of my stepmom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Hawaii to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought-“
Ji Won began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Mina’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him, made him want to hold onto her and never let her go. He paused to let her continue. "-I thought that we could be together like we were….oppa and dongsang in Hawaii. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.”
Ji Won felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Mina’s words stabbed him like a knife. “Mina, you don’t understand. I-“ Mina didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Ji Won chased after her.
“Mina!” he yelled as he chased her out of the hotel.
“Hyung,” said Su Won as he saw Ji Won ran by him. Ji Won pushed him out of the way. Kyung Hee ran up the 5 Kies. “What happened?”
Su Won shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Ji Won was chasing Min Sung and kept screaming Mina.”
Kyung Hee stumbled back and Sung Hoon caught her. ‘Oh no, poor Mina,’ she thought. She turned around to see Sung Hoon looking at her sadly. Kyung Hee moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither one of them lets go.


********** Part 34 **********
June 16, 1999
It was 3 a.m. and Ji Won had lost Mina. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Mina!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets. A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons.
Tae Won silently crept behind Ji Won. Ji Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Ji Won, which they knew he would fall for.
“Mina!” I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Ji Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Ji Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think.
Ji Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Mina. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out. “Looking for someone?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Ji Won, glaring at him. “I’m looking for Min Sung.”
“The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously.
“Yeah.”
“I got him.”
“You do?” Ji Won asked surprised. “Hand him over!”
“There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Min Sung but little did Ji Won know that it was all a setup.
“Mina?” Ji Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Ji Won around the neck and began shooting Ji Won continually in the stomach.
I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Ji Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Ji Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Ji Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too.
Ji Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour. “Ji Won!” I screamed, shaking him. He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Ji Won up on my back and carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room. Four hours later the doctor came out.
“How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him.
“He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.”
“Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away.
“Are you sure?” I nodded my head. “Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.”
I nodded my head again. “I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.”
They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Ji Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though.
I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Ji Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him. “I love you Ji Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.

[loveforum]

********** Part 35 **********
Ji Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of SechsKies entered his room. “Hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “Are you okay?” Ji Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up. “I’m okay now.” Jae Jin walked over to his bedside. “We’re so sorry Matthew hyung. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.”
“It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down.
Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said.
Ji Won looked at him. “Thanks for saving me Doc.”
“No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.”
Ji Won began to panic. “What did she do?”
“She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.”
“The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically.
The doctor looked around the room. “She was supposed to be in here-“ Ji Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him. “Hyung!” all the 5 Kies shouted but Ji Won had already left. He ran searching for Mina. He knew where she went.


********** Part 36 **********
June 17, 1999
Please let Ji Won be okay, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Ji Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Ji Won? I didn’t know these answers.
I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Ji Won.
My hair had grew out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Nam Mina, and not Ahn Min Sung. I looked at my reflection again. At least I look like a girl now, I thought with a little laugh.
When I was done, I leaned against the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Ji Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name. “Mina!” I recognized the voice. Ji Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go.
Ji Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Mina,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Mina. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks. ‘Mina,’ he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face.
All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Ji Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet. “Ji Won,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you cry before.”
Ji Won looked down at Mina, through his tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina.” “Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Ji Won shook his head. “I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.”
I reached up wipe away Ji Won’s tears. “I didn’t expect anything back from you oppa. But I want to know why did you leave me in Hawaii? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me.” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me tighten.
“I didn’t mean to leave you Mina,” answered Ji Won, his voice shaking. “I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritanceand I planned on taking you and Sung Hoon with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Mina. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.”
Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Ji Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought. “Look Ji Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.” Ji Won looked at me. “You’re beautiful Mina,” he said to me. “If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.”
One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question. “Ji Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your dongsang.” Ji Won looked down at Mina. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did knew that he had loved her all along. “Yes, Mina,” he told her. “I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her.
My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Ji Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Ji Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Ji Won enough love. I haven’t told Ji Won I loved him yet.
“Ji Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream come true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I-I-“
I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocketand pulled out the white marble stone Ji Won had given to me when I was Min Sung. I pointed towards the ocean to make Ji Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times. ‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time.
As Ji Won listened to what Mina was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Mina pointed out to the ocean, Ji Won saw her throw the stone he had given her. It skipped 3 times. I love you. Ji Won smiled, knowing that Mina loved him too. He had known that she had loved him all along but she never told it to him either. “Mina, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Ji Won looked down at her. She had passed on. “Mina?” He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely lifeless. “Mina!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook.
Sung Hoon and the others finally made it to where Ji Won and Mina was. They circled Ji Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see. “Hyung,” said Sung Hoon as he put his hand on Ji Won’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Min Sung?” Ji Won lifted his head up and Sung Hoon saw who Ji Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked. “M…Mina?” he asked in disbelief.
“Mina?” the others repeated.
“Min Sung is Mina?” asked Ji Yong.
Ji Won nodded his head. “She dressed up as a guy to join SechsKies to be with me.”
“You’re right, Mickey. Mina did love Matthew hyung,” said Jae Duc quietly.
Sung Hoon got up and hugged both Ji Won’s and Mina’s bodies tightly. “Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Ji Won shook his head. He moved away from Sung Hoon and turned to face all of them. “SechsKies is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Mina.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened.
“Mina,” Ji Won began. “When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Ji Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace. “With SechsKies here as my witnesses, I, Eun Ji Won, take Nam Mina as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Mina except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.”
He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Ji Won had been their leader, he had never used his real name Ji Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Ji Won lifted Mina up into his arms as he stood up. “As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting SechsKies.”
“What?” they all asked in disbelief.
“Hyung,” said Su Won. “Please reconsider.”
Ji Won shook his head. “This is the second time Mina left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.”
The others understood what Ji Won meant. Jae Jin walked up to Ji Won. “What do you plan to do then Matthew?”

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Continue from Part 36

“I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Mina and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for SechsKies, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.”
They all nodded.
Ji Won placed a hand on Sung Hoon’s shoulder. “Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won.
“Yes hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “If you do love Kyung Hee, tell her before it’s too late.”
Sung Hoon nodded. “I will.”
Ji Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time. “This final meeting of SechsKies is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.”
Ji Won picked up Mina’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Ji Won lifted Mina’s body up into his arms as he walked away. “Hyung!” shouted Sung Hoon. “Where are you going?”
Ji Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Kies watched their leader walk towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Ji Won had written. The last entry of Mina's story was,
“True love never has an ending.”