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Thread: Justified to feel hurt?

  1. #1
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    Justified to feel hurt?

    Would you feel hurt if your boyfriend or girlfriend canceled their weekend plans with you so they could spend their weekend alone with a friend of the opposite sex instead?

    How would you react to the situation?
    Would you feel justified in voicing your concern?

  2. #2
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    You're justified to feel a lot more than hurt. That's a situation that should make you seriously reconsider your relationship. I'd definitely break up with a girl that did this, or at the very least, distance myself emotionally and start looking for another partner and start living a single life, keeping my partner around just for sex. Most people wouldn't do the very last part, but you should definitely put your foot down and tell him to it's over if he cancels your plans to be with another woman. Frankly, you might want to just break up with him anyway for being disrespectful.
    Last edited by BackUpOrGetStng; 10-06-11 at 01:24 AM.

  3. #3
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    Yes, absolutely. If, say, they had a friend coming through town and wanted to spend time with that person, then I feel it's only right that you are included at some point in the activities.

  4. #4
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    Get out of the relationship - quick because your OH obviously does not value you

  5. #5
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    Depends. Is this a friend they can hang out with anytime or someone that isn't normally in the area? We are completely trusting in our relationship to let the other person have friends of the opposite gender. In fact we've both continued using the dating site we met on to email the opposite gender looking for just friends. I also answer craigslist ads in the platonic but m4w section and my husband knows. It's not an issue because we know the other person won't do anything. So the only thing in your situation that would matter is that plans are being cancelled for someone else which is not right if they can hang out with the person anytime but totally understanding if it's someone they rarely get to see.

  6. #6
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    Leave ASAP! simple as that. Find someone better.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by kageri View Post
    Depends. Is this a friend they can hang out with anytime or someone that isn't normally in the area? We are completely trusting in our relationship to let the other person have friends of the opposite gender. In fact we've both continued using the dating site we met on to email the opposite gender looking for just friends. I also answer craigslist ads in the platonic but m4w section and my husband knows. It's not an issue because we know the other person won't do anything. So the only thing in your situation that would matter is that plans are being cancelled for someone else which is not right if they can hang out with the person anytime but totally understanding if it's someone they rarely get to see.
    So if its someone they hardly ever get too see, then you think its best to just keep any hurt feelings you have to yourself? If you don't you are acting jealous and have trust issues?

  8. #8
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    It's not really fair to demand all of someone's attention and not let them see their friends. Unless they were plans that can never be made again I don't see why you'd want to keep your partner from spending time with a friend they rarely get to see. Sure I get slightly annoyed when my husband's friends from chicago which is like 3-4 hrs away come and drag him off for a day or 2 while I get stuck at home bored but I get to see him everyday and every weekend while he gets to see them a couple times a year. It would be wrong and controlling of me to tell him he can't go hang out with them when they are around so I don't say anything to him and try to entertain myself while he's gone.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by kageri View Post
    Depends. Is this a friend they can hang out with anytime or someone that isn't normally in the area? We are completely trusting in our relationship to let the other person have friends of the opposite gender. In fact we've both continued using the dating site we met on to email the opposite gender looking for just friends. I also answer craigslist ads in the platonic but m4w section and my husband knows. It's not an issue because we know the other person won't do anything. So the only thing in your situation that would matter is that plans are being cancelled for someone else which is not right if they can hang out with the person anytime but totally understanding if it's someone they rarely get to see.
    Begs the question: What's wrong with the two of you that you need to find multiple members of the opposite sex to be friends with? Being friends with somone of the opposite sex before meeting one another is one thing. Seeking out new ones is quite another. Someone is keeping their options open for some reason.

    OP: Can you give a bit more background on the situation? I don't think you'll get acurate unbiased answers without knowing their background and the dynamics of your relationship.

    As the op is written; yes, it's made to sound totally unfair.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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