I need a new perspective

[Communeer]

Hi I have come to the point where I am seeking advice from the internet why, because I do not have friends who are mature enough and I do not want to go through the hassle of seeing a psychologist.

Right now I am going through a very difficult/stressful summer (involving my job, school, a project I am working on and overall my future), but if everything goes as planned I will accomplish a lot and I will be very successful.

What I am having trouble with, is my relationship status.

We have been together for over three years. When we started I was not really sure about making it a long term relationship and there have been times in the past where I have thought of ending it ( I am not sure what stopped me nor what made me want to end it). I will try to summarize the things I like and dislike about my partner/relationship, some of this things are very serious while others even I admit that are really dumb excuses.

-First, I do not like her mother, she is a good person but I am not a fan of her culture and I do not really enjoy spending time with her. That being said I do not like her family in general and it is not that they are bad people in fact they are very kind, as I mentioned before it is just their culture which I cant stand. I can spend time with them but I do it just for her.

-I am not going into detail on this part since I would also like to receive a female point of view. But, relative to my eye my partner is a 6 or 7 out of 10. Same person with a five I would not even be writing this and with an 8 I would not be writing this either.

-I really love her professional life I think it is awesome, I am very proud of her and I hope she gets even further because I know she can do it.

-Her social life sucks (from my perspective), basically my social life is her social life.

-I hate the fact that she has no hobbies, I have tried to introduce her to a lot. From this one we can also mention that she does not like sports. By the way, I practice every sport.

-She is the kindest person in the world, I am not afraid of betting on it. In fact the little malice she posses is because I have corrupted her.

-I feel like I need to protect her that it is my duty and I could not stand if anything happened to her maybe that is one of the problems, I need to protect her even from myself.

-When I get mad we do not fight because I never attack her right on the spot, when she gets mad its the opposite. I do not know if I care about this one, maybe.

-Humans have a problem were they want what they do not have. I am very confused I know that in a sense I want that feeling of the first year of a relationship.
-Compared to one man there are infinite woman to choose from, the problem is choosing.
Also, I am scared that if I end this relationship and I start another when the getting to know years pass I will end on this website again.

I am almost certain that we can coexist together and I am sure that we could have a great future.

[Cerby]

-I am not going into detail on this part since I would also like to receive a female point of view. But, relative to my eye my partner is a 6 or 7 out of 10. Same person with a five I would not even be writing this and with an 8 I would not be writing this either.

This says a lot, her looks determine if you have a problem or not, I assume is she was a 5 you'd be long gone, and if she was an 8, you'd deal with the problems because she was attractive.

You're trying to decided if the trouble is worth it for an "average" looking girl. Its hard to give advice on this because it comes down to how you truly feel about her if you put all the issues aside.

Could you see yourself marrying her? Is long term really an option in your head? You might need to sort this one out on your own.

Also, I am scared that if I end this relationship and I start another when the getting to know years pass I will end on this website again.

This is a codependent statement, you're self esteem is low enough that you're afraid if you leave her, you won't be able to replace her, or you will and have the same problems. This is something you should talk to a councillor about.

[abn25]

If you are not married yet and I assume still young as you're in college, I would just keep my options open. Neither of you are indebted to each other, yet. It sounds like she might really think you are serious about the realtionship though, so whatever happens just try to be honest without hurting her. About the looks, you've been with her 3 years so she must be attractive to you in more than one way, you said she has a kind heart, that should never be taken for granted in my opinion, because you may get a 10 one day who is a total bitch and breaks your heart anyway. I just think though you shoulodnt make any rash dicisions but maybe just branch out and date other girls. I would also ask her why she doesnt have any hobbies, its easy to get caught up in a relationship when you're young and forget about everyone and everything else and just negelct your own interests really. Just tell her you want her to have other things going on outside the relationship for her own health. Hope this helps.

[Wakeup]

I'm sure your gf can do better than you so don't worry about breaking up with her because you feel obligated to give her some sort of what you percieve to be a good life. From what I'm reading you don't even like her, never mind love. You didn't once mention how much you care for her only that you're afraid to let her go because you might just end up with someone you don't really like once again.

Do her a favor and let her go to find someone who is .. uhm.. how shall I put it? Oh, yea. More human-like.

This is a codependent statement, you're self esteem is low enough that you're afraid if you leave her, you won't be able to replace her, or you will and have the same problems. This is something you should talk to a councillor about.

Agreed.

[Communeer]

Thank you, this exactly what I am trying to accomplish see other people's point of view.

I really do not have a low self esteem what I meant by this statement:

"Also, I am scared that if I end this relationship and I start another when the getting to know years pass I will end on this website again."

is that I do not know if this feelings I am experiencing lately are because of this relationship in particular or if it is just another step to go through in a relationship in general.

[Wakeup]

Is this your first relationship?

[Communeer]

This is not my first but I have not had many

[Communeer]

You think I do not love my current girlfriend I forgot to mention it because love is not an issue in fact check the song I wrote for her for our last anniversary

youtube.com/watch?v=ntu-poC2FOI