What's going on?

[Trouser Snake]

So my girlfriend and I had been going out for about 4 years, through high school and college, when she suddenly started having doubts about us. She was worried that she hadn't had the opportunity to date other people since we met at such a young age, and she wanted to date other guys. She really is an amazing person, and I know she is in love with me. But I also knew that this was fatal to our relationship, and that these doubts would never go away unless she did her own thing, so I called the relationship off (though it was really her choice).

Anyway, it has been about a month since we broke up, she has been in Europe with her family, and I have been doing well enough by myself. I really don't have a confidence problem, and I know that eventually I can get with other great girls. Just recently though, she got back from Europe, and I met with her mom and dad (who I'm on good terms with) to tie up some loose ends, and as I was leaving she came out with me. She apologized for the way she had handled everything, and then told me that every morning she woke up in Europe she felt terrible and didn't want to get out of bed because she felt so bad. And then she told me that she realized she didn't want to date other guys any more. At this point I was thinking she definitely was trying to get back together with me, so I asked her what it is that she wanted, and she told me that she thinks she wants to be single right now. Then, when all was said and done, she forced a hug on me.

So right now I'm a bit confused. We essentially broke up because she wanted to date other guys, and now she decided that she doesn't want to date other guys. But yet she also didn't try to get back together with me, which I thought was surprising given what she was saying, and given her body language during our conversation. Part of me thinks she wants to get back together, but she feels too guilty about what she did to be the one to ask, and another part of me thinks she is still just really confused. What is going on inside of her head right now? And where should I go from here?

I am not bitter about the way things turned out, and I know I would be fine in the long run if we didn't get back together. That being said, she is an amazing person, and I do love her a lot. The only reason I'm thinking about getting back together is because I think these doubts will have gone away since she had time to herself to figure out what she wants. Let me know what you think.

[smackie9]

She is saying she doesn't need a guy in her life, that she wants to be her own person and discover her individuality. She seeks to experience life and be independent.

[Windmillback]

You have entered the attempt on her part to be in the "just friends" zone. What Smackie9 says is true, now she does not want to give her heart to you but wants to depend on you as an emotional friend and she may want to control you, speciffically what you may tell mutual friends. If you are OK with this friendship, go for it, I am not. When a girls splits with me, that is exactly how I take it, we split.

[abn25]

If she is such a good person I dont think you'd be confused but at the very least she could be a bad communicater. Seems like she had second thoughts but it would have been up to her to express her dsire to get back with you, unless she was doing all of this to see if you really cared and missed her and then gauge your response, which is my guess. Get the truth then try to live with it either way. Hope you the best.

[motleylou]

Just had the same similar situation pulled on me. We didn't date as long as you 2, but she moved into my parents house with me, we had future plans and everything was great. Then a few weeks before the breakup she got weird, and then said that she doesn't want a relationship right now. Just like you she said that she doesn't want to date another guy she just wants to not be responsible for anyone but herself right now. I just don't get how girls can change their minds so fast, we only lived together for 4 weeks.....but anyway. My advice is to tell her that you love her and care about her and respect her decision to take a break(even if you don't, I didn't but don't want to appear desperate or needy) and if she ever wants to talk about giving it another shot to never hesitate to make that phone call no matter how far down the road it is. That's how I left it, because for me it's to painful to try and be friends. Seems like you got your head on straight though it took me a good month to get where you're at. There are plenty of other good girls out there, who want to be in a relationship and won't want to leave like our ex's did. Because the bottom line is if she really truly loved me then she wouldn't of left, because I could find an awesome girl tomorrow and then my ex could call and I will tell her "no i'm in a good relationship" and she's taking the chance that it might happen. I want to find a girl who won't let me go so easily.