Fooled Again

[Cerby]

Well, I'm writing in this forum again, just to vent more than get advice sadly.

Same girl, same timeline. We started dating in January, and 2 months almost on the nose she said she needed some space and that I was pushing her too hard in the relationship when she just wanted time to chill and not have to make any commitments while she was getting over her ex.

We broke up for a couple of weeks and she came back stating that she was ready, I was the guy for her, and the space was really important that she took it, now ready to try for real...

Fast forward - 2 months again on the nose.

She does the same thing, "I'm not ready for a relationship", blames me for some really silly things, and does it all over the phone (coward). Some of the things are listed below:

- She wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, and I pulled her into it because she knew I wasn’t looking for friends so she felt forced. (She was the one who initiated)
- A few weeks back my credit card company was down when I was at Zellars, so she offered to cover it. We hammered out a payment schedule of 2 weeks (300 at a time, 600 total). I paid back on time. Last night she told me her mom was furious at her for lending it out, and she regretted doing it because of it and never should have. She blamed me for not declining her offer and was upset.
- I was moving too fast and wanted more than she was willing to give right now
- I was pushy for sex (SHE is the one who offered this weekend)
- I booked this Thursday and Friday off this week so we could go camping as she has the week off. She threw it in my face that she just wanted to relax this weekend and I should have booked anything off, she didn’t ask me to and didn’t want me to.
- I wanted to spend too much time with her, and she had no time with her friends (never ONCE did she complain about our time together, and I was more than willing to compromise time, she was the one scheduling all the time).
- Our plans this weekend were never really plans, “We just talked about it” and that didn’t mean we were committed to any plan, so I guess that was a hall pass to ignore me.


So I guess I got fooled by the same girl twice, once we past a certain point where we were getting to the "exclusive" stage, she would get cold feet and find just about any reason to run for the hills.

I'm sad again, but this time also quite pissed off that she treated my emotions like a playground.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You should go NC, and when she calls you again(she will), just use her for sex while you look for other girls, and don't say anything about exclusivity. Women are like jobs, it's always easier to get one when you have one.

[steviej]

Use that anger positively, so much easier to get over someone when they have p1ssed you off!
Don't take her sh1t either, she's making up excuses.

[IncognitoSir]

You should go NC, and when she calls you again(she will), just use her for sex while you look for other girls, and don't say anything about exclusivity. Women are like jobs, it's always easier to get one when you have one.

Damn son lol, I like that, and it's so true, Like women flock to you once you get involved with another.

[Cinnabella]

You should go NC, and when she calls you again(she will), just use her for sex while you look for other girls, and don't say anything about exclusivity. Women are like jobs, it's always easier to get one when you have one.

I'm totally disagree with the part that he suggested you to use this woman for sex, just get out of it totally and don't ever get involve with her anymore, what get around, comes around. This is morally wrong for using anyone, she might did wrong to you and she would get her karma, but you shouldn't drag your level down by using her and also you might be used by someone else again later.

[Cerby]

My challenge, and one of the reasons I truly feared starting this relationship, is that we work in the same building. We work different shifts and different areas, but I have to walk by one of her workstations on the way out every day (this is actually how we met).

I walk by her in this manner at least once a week, and there is no alternative route. All I can do I guess is politely nod and say nothing.