im F***%& Up ..but cant let go yet

[loverman1]

i once met a girl, and after that moment i fell in love very quickly, ive never felt so much joy just from being with her and in her life. I also lost this girl from my complicated issues i have in my life, this was 2 years ago and she has moved away since then.. i heared nothing from her in 6 months until she sent a message to my on facebook saying Merry Christmas.. from then on 6 months ago we have been emailing and texting 2 - 3 times a week, i met up with her about 7 weeks ago as we decided to meet up after a year of not seeing each other.. we ended up having a really nice time and met up another 3 times since then, we even kissed at the end of each date, i throught this was going to be different this time.. the conversation flowed alot better and i got to know her alot more. After our 4th meeting something had changed, the messages stopped i mean she still text me, but it was nothing like before.

It was 4 days ago now, i got a message saying she is sorry for not texting me anymore, and she had to tell me that she has met sombody else who she likes, and shes seeing him, she said she wants to be friends with me forever. I felt heartbroken as i read this and its just starting to sink in, i ve been really upset crying since then.. i asked if i could call her after i read that message and she said i will call you later, the next evening she called me and she said she's met a guy who she is seeing, but shes not sure yet if she wants a relationship with him or not, it has only been going on 3 weeks.. i asked if she wants to be friends and if we can still see each other, and she said yes i want to see u still but after 3 weeks.

Im not angry, im just sad and confused i also dont know what i should do, apart of me wants to go and tell her how i feel, tell her how much i love her and what she means to me.. the other side of me says just wait 3 weeks and then tell her, or convince her.. im afraid i could be too late if i wait 3 weeks, and you know 3 weeks could turn out to be longer, or even never. The final part of me says to let her choose and live her life, to let her go and find a man who she really loves.

i need advice .. i would rarther be friends than to never she her again, but what kind of a friendship could we have, i know i mean alot to her but i feel i would hardly get to see her if she has this new guy. If i told her my feelings would i loose everything ? .. or should i wait and see what happens in the weeks and months ahead ?
im really not in the mood for somebody to say "no contact i really hate that phrase and i would rarther be friends! i love her so much that i cant even do my job at the moment, so i need to make a choice.. at the moment my choice is to look after myself the best i can until i see her in 3 weeks, and then tell her how i feel. would it make a difference if i told her i loved her ?..i told her once before but that was almost 2 years ago.

[nch713]

focus on yourself, your job, etc. there are other girls out there. some maybe even better than her. don't be shy. just go out and meet new people. trust me, when you get a new gf, the thrill of a new relationship will help the old girl fade away...

plus, what if she ends up picking the other guy, and stays friends with you forever? you'll have to move on eventually. i bet your new girlfriend won't like that you're still friends with this girl you were so deeply in love with.

my advice: have goodbye sex, then say goodbye

[Wakeup]

Wait the three weeks and then say: "Thanks for the opportunity but I've met someone and she's wonderful, have a good life as I think it's best we don't complicate my new relationship by speaking and her getting the wrong idea about us. Goodbye and good luck in your future." Then never ever contact her or allow her to contact you again.

She's a cow who reeled you back in just to throw yo back in the water and make you swim through all the stages of grief once again. You deserve better than her and if you allow yourself to forget her completely, you close the door to her and a new door will open up to someone who actually knows what she wants and will appreciate you for the fine guy you are.

Take her down off that pedestal you have her on. She doesn't deserve the hype or the emotion you waste on her.

would it make a difference if i told her i loved her ?..

not if she doesn't love you back. If she doesn't love you back telling her that will just make her pity you.

Don't settle to be someone's half-assed "friend" when you want to be their romantic partner. All that does is stagnate you from moving on and finding someone who will love you back in a romantic sense because you can't open yourself up to anyone new the way you can when you're mind is free. You're foolish if you remain in her life. Don't fear be abandoned by someone who has done to you what she has done. It reeks of codependency, desperation and it's unattractive.

Take back your personal power and tell her to hit the road and quit fking with guys emotions.

[loverman1]

do you think she will still meet me in 3 weeks if she gets together with this new boy ?
I feel confused just sitting around waiting, a big part of me wants to jump in the car and go to her

[Bonfire]

Telling her how much you love her will probably not change a thing. She has someone she is interested in at the moment. There is really nothing you can do but wait it out. Confessing your feelings will only make you look more desperate. She already has a good idea how you feel about her. Now is the time to show her you are strong enough to just be a friend. That you are not going to convince her you are better for her but for her to see it on her own terms. I know it's hard to keep all that emotions inside. I know you want to just tell her everything and how much she means to you. You can still choose to do that. But I recommend you just be a friend to her but keep a slight distance. You don't have to cut contact since you don't want to. But it will make things easier if you keep a little bit of distance. Just be cool when you see her. Maybe one day she'll come around but could you really wait that long? Or would the pain of seeing her with another guy be too much? What if she never change her mind? Would it be better to try and move on? Eventually you'll have to come to terms with these questions.

[loverman1]

""Now is the time to show her you are strong enough to just be a friend. That you are not going to convince her you are better for her but for her to see it on her own terms.""

how oftern should i text as a friend ? .....it does'nt seem like she texting me at the moment!

[Simonsaysyes]

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