Long Distance Relationship problem sexting and what not

[That Dude]

So my girlfriend of 4 years is planning to move out with her mom from her house. And where they plan to go is quite a while away. I love her very much and decided to stay with her and make it work. I was reading some advice online on how to make it work and one of the ways it said to help were sexual acts over a far distance, sexting and what not. I personally have no problem with it and we've done it a lot until about a year ago where she says it doesn't do anything for her anymore. This includes videos, pictures, sexting, and phone sex. We can't see each other too often also due to college coming up. So what do I do? If she doesn't enjoy that anymore and also doesn't like me looking at porn what should I do to keep things interesting and spicy I guess is a word to use. What alternatives are there? Distance gets in the way of me being able to be alone with her. Should I even care about this can a relationship at such a distance be fine even without being intimate? Thanks for the help.

[pisces25]

I don't believe a relationship can survive without being intimate. Her lack of concern over this would concern me the most. You just need to ask her what she expects of the relationships being long distance and work out from there whether it is something you can sustain. I personally couldn't do it. My BF and I have had intimacy problems and we live 25km away. God knows what it'd be like long-distance. You need to have the talk about where your relationship is heading. Good luck.

[Boisdevie]

Long distance relationship = shite relationship. Unless you can see her often enough it's not going to work - you'll both end up frustrated and pissed off. It's not like phone sex is real sex is it. With real sex you can touch each other. Wanking off whilst holding the phone is not the same is it?

[devonbrown]

She may wind up changing her mind about what "works" for her once she is separated from you for a while. If you want it to work, let things come naturally. Don't try to force the issue or she will get very frustrated and think that sex is the only thing you are interested in.

In addition, make sure that she is making the same efforts to connect that you are. You don't want to be the only one trying to make this work.

Good luck.

[devonbrown]

I will add, however, that a lot of relationships end once the parties are involved in going to college. College normally offers a lot of people freedom they never had before, which creates lots of opportunities for new dating relationships. This is the same for both of you, so do not necessarily think of this as a negative.

[Wakeup]

Let me get this straight. She doesn't like cyber sexing with you, she expects you to remain monogamous and she doesn't like you masturbating to porn. If that's correct then this relationship will never work because she is selfish in wanting you to be sexless like her. To me, her attitude is what is deviant here, expecting more then monogamy and wants you to actually be celebate while you're apart. You think you can handle that and be a happy camper without straying and still remaining happy?

My suggestion: Call it quits and enjoy your singledom while at college. If your paths cross when you're older and able to actully be in a 1/2 drive away from each other you can reinvestigate your feelings for one another then.

[That Dude]

Thanks for all the advice much appreciated!
Though she does say she's sorry and mentions that its not right that she wants this of me. She claims that her sex drive is much lower now. I read that its give and take in a relationship though I feel I'm the only one giving. It's been a while since I've really gotten anything in return. I do feel bad that I feel I should get something in return but I don't want to be that fool who gives gives gives and he doesn't realize his gf doesn't care enough to do anything in return. It's been months since I've even gotten a small gift, a random act of kindness or any sexual acts. She claims she's much more busy though I truly doubt even a little time of day for me is out of reach. I wonder if either I'm being too sexual, too demanding, too over analyzing, or if I'm just nit being treated right. I even expected a little flank on the website for posting something about lack of sex. Haha any advice?

[Wakeup]

Why don't you tell us why you stay? Maybe if you do a pros and cons list it will help you to make a productive decision?

If you see that the cons are more then the pros, you'll get your answer?

I wonder if either I'm being too sexual, too demanding, too over analyzing, or if I'm just nit being treated right.

Being a martyr by staying if you are not feeling valued is just self defeating.

[aznprince1989]

Its very difficult being in a long distance relationship. Unless you get married or have a way of seeing each other more often life is just going to suck. I have been in 2 long distance relationship almost 3 and because the fact I was on the other side of the country they eventually broke up with me. Sex was great when Im with them, phone sex is new and interesting but when you get deeply invloved in a relationship for a long time I actually is quite difficult.

I am of the Marines now and I have found someone new to love. I hope it will last and marry this one. But dont try to kill yourself and make her feel like crap because the last thing you want is for her to regret ever being with you. Love hurts whether its right or wrong. Nowadays you just have to look past the things that get you down and focus on your future. If not your current girlfriend someone else will eventually walk into your life.

[aznprince1989]

Sorry for all the misspelt words. I am using my iphone to type.