Does he deserve another chance?

[missquinn86]

Hi everyone! I am new on the site and hoping to gain some mature advice...

I was in a VERY new relationship with a guy. When i say new-we had only been official for two days prior to him leaving for Afghanistan (he's in the Army). About a week into his trip, (3 weeks ago) i received a message on facebook from a girl whom i had never heard of before. She told me that SHE was in the stages of "dating" my bf. She sent me messages that he had been sending her on the day that he left for his trip. One message in particular said "i love you and miss you". When i confronted him about it (on fb because he doesn't have a phone on him) he admitted that he was "seeing" this girl but he had wanted to end it with her as soon as he met me. He told me that he had hardly been texting her prior to him leaving for his trip and he only messaged her that "i love and miss you" text was his way of saying goodbye to her. They both live in different states and were never official. He hasn't tried calling her since he left for Afghanistan. He has been calling me almost everyday, he has sent me flowers and emails explaining how sorry he is. I have never had much trust in relationships after an ex cheated on me (we were together for 4 years)...what should i do? He wants to see me when he gets back (in about 6 weeks). One part of me is thinking that maybe i should chat with him-because this happened SO early on in our "relationship". If he had done this months into our relationship-i wouldn't even give him the time of day. He swears that he doesn't love her and that it was a stupid thing to say to her..........please help me

I have also been in contact with the other girl and she says that it is obviously me that he wants-he hasnt contacted her at all since he left

[VincenzoG91]

Some day he will treat you just like he has treated her. Don't wait for that day, move on and don't look back.

[bigdaddy863]

i would give him another chance because they never were offical and he could just have been saying that just to shut her up

[OmnicronPercei8]

You've been official for two days and already can't trust him? Cut ties early for less pain later.

[missquinn86]

hmmmmmmm...i don't know

[missquinn86]

thanks for everyones opinions

[JadenMia]

I agree, its not been long since you have been with him. Already sounds like a dirtbag. I would leave before you have stronger feelings for him and you find it harder to leave than you already do now. Believe me..

[TheTooya]

Move on, he isn't worth your time, you don't deserve to be treated that way. He lied to you earlier, he will do it again.

[missquinn86]

he has only contacted her once since he left three weeks ago and thats when he told her that contacted her that he didnt wish to continue with her...

[missquinn86]

he has only contacted her once since he left three weeks ago and thats when he told her that he didnt wish to continue with her..

[Wakeup]

he has only contacted her once since he left three weeks ago and thats when he told her that he didnt wish to continue with her..

Then why did he say "I love you and I miss you" to her? Something doesn't add up. He said he "wanted to end it with her when he met you." So how long did he keep the two of you at the same time?

Anyway: By all the excuses you give for his behaviour it sounds like you want us to tell you to go ahead and forget the emails and the "I love you and I miss you" (odd way to say goodbye to someone)... and just go on and enjoy your relationship with him.. so, go on and enjoy your relationship with him, but while you're doing it you better trust him because he'll be away a lot as long as he's in the army and there is a place where soldiers need to be.

[MaidenMinx]

I would be tempted to give him another chance if I were you, but do ask yourself if you do really trust him. If you do, great. If not, let it go.

[loves568]

Proceed With Caution but not a closed heart.

[missquinn86]

your right "wakeup"...i have been rereading my posts and your right-i'm giving him excuses...arrrrrrg...your right though-it doesn't add up. I guess apologies and not contacting her have made me think that he doesn't want to be with her..we were at the 'getting to know each other stage" for three weeks...in that time, he messaged her a few times. Your right.....