Communication issues in bed

[Golfer]

I'm dating a girl who is very attractive, however I've been having problems getting her to communicate with me about sex.

We don't seem to be overly sexually compatible, compared to my last girlfriend who was very open to trying almost anything and wasn't afraid of telling me what she liked.

Firstly, while I am happy to give oral sex and do so regularly, she does not reciprocate. I haven't tried talking to her about this because I wouldn't know what to say and don't want to be pushy if she doesn't like it. I have no idea why she doesn't do it, so how should I approach the issue? I have no problem giving to her. I like doing it.

Secondly, she doesn't seem to be very experimental. It usually begins with missionary.... and ends with missionary, nothing in between. I have tried taking control etc.. and changing positions but she isn't very responsive to any of them and enjoys missionary the most I think. I've tried asking her which positions she prefers but she isn't forthcoming and I don't think she likes to verbalize what she likes. Makes it hard to please her when she won't tell me what she prefers...

Which leads me to my next point... I haven't been able to make her orgasm. The closest I've come to making it happen is through oral sex, but she always stops me just when it seems it's starting to become good for her. I don't understand this. For me, this is very important and I want to make her feel good. But without her communicating with me and telling me what she likes this is very difficult. My last girlfriend was constantly communicating with me in bed, telling me to speed up, slow down, higher, lower etc etc and she had an orgasm almost every time we had sex which was great.

We've slept together about 7 or 8 times, and I'm starting to become frustrated with the situation. As a final point, she doesn't seem to be completely comfortable with her body and doesn't like me seeing her naked in light... I mean, during sex obviously.. but when she gets changed she always turns off the light so I can't see her. She has a nice body so I am puzzled by this.

Any advice would be good! Thanks.

[gigigi4]

it sounds like she is inexperienced or insecure. it's harder for some people to communicate about sex, and unfortunately i think this is especially a problem with women. i used to have a lot of problems talking about sex with my bf, and it is still a little bit of an issue for me (i'm not sure why). what really helped is him approaching the issue by telling me that he was really attracted to me and really wanted me to enjoy sex as much as possible- just what you said in your post. i would tell that to her and see how she responds. you will probably just have to be patient as she opens up to you. if she doesn't want to talk about it in a regular conversation, you could try making it like a playful game during sex, like getting her to take control and see where she takes things.