Should I text him?

[gina mantis]

I recently went out with a guy (whether it was a "date", I'm unsure). We went to school together years ago, and he ran into me at the bar I was working at, asked for my number and called to "catch up" the next night. He seemed really into me! We talked at a cafe for hours, laughed, touched my hand, shared personal aspects of his life... I never asked if he had a girlfriend/if this was a date. The goodbye was awkward... after 10 seconds of staring at each other I said, okay--Well this was fun! Good night! He replied with... "Yeah, we'll be in touch!" ... Ohhh, sooo not good.

"We'll be in touch?" Like I just went through a job interview, and failed. It's been four days and no call. He mentioned he was leaving for Europe in a week...should I text him saying I hope he has a good trip? I thought we had chemistry, and I'm kind of disappointed I still haven't heard back, but it could be four a thousand reasons (i.e. it wasn't a date/he's not interested) ...by the same token, I don't want to appear that I'm pursuing him, but I would like to hear back, and he's been the only one to call/text me!

[steviej]

He's probably thinking he's blown it with his nervous reply and is embarassed! Take a chance, message him about the trip, see what happens.

[Wakeup]

What would Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, of "He's Just Not That Into You" fame have to say about you texting him?

[oldskool83]

im so sick of hearing that BS line of somones not into you. girl if you wanna text him. there is no harm. hell just call and say hi.

[Wakeup]

I thought the book was bullshit to until common sense took over and whambo... It's true. If he's interested he will call again. If she waits she'll have proof that he's interested and not just taking something being handed to him on a platter should she call him.

So many men use the excuse that they are hardwired to "spread their seed" yet they balk at the same genetic hard wiring to be the hunter and hunt their "prey." I'm thinking that either you believe in your hardwiring all together or you don't... You can't pick and choose which one's you can use as an excuse and discard the one's that don't suit you. (the general you).

Me: I'd not call him. If he enjoyed my company, he'll call again. Perhaps he'd do it when he's back from his trip but I wouldn't hold my breath hoping.

[bigdaddy863]

just txt him and say hi

[Windmillback]

What is the harm in just telling someone that you like them? Or being the first to say it? You can waste a lot of potential love relationships by holding that head up high in the power game to fall first. Just text the guy and tell him that you enjoyed spending time with him the other day and if he would be interested in getting back together again sometime. Than tell him, if he does, would he please give you a call.

[DannyH]

Doesn't hurt to go after what you want. As a dude if I think the girl isn't as interested in me as I am in to her I'll cut my losses and run but if they would of texted or called I would of at least gave them a second date.

[eo_ih]

Doesn't hurt to go after what you want. As a dude if I think the girl isn't as interested in me as I am in to her I'll cut my losses and run but if they would of texted or called I would of at least gave them a second date.

He's probably thinking he's blown it with his nervous reply and is embarassed! Take a chance, message him about the trip, see what happens.

Yea, these are possibilities. There have been plenty of times when I've rather liked a girl I met and spent a short time with, but I felt that my "performance" was thoroughly inadequate and embarrassing, or that she was generally far too good for me, so I just forgot about it and didn't bother harassing her any more.

I only continue to force myself upon people who I think actually want me to. I don't see the point otherwise, because imo no one can actually win someone over - not directly like that. And I don't like to annoy people. In my case I do require some kind of reassurance or encouragement from a girl. Implicit is usually fine, just so long as it appears to me that she would like me to continue bothering her.

BUT, women have to wonder if they really want to continue seeing a pathetic beta like that, anyway?
So if he doesn't call then either he doesn't like you, or he does but is somehow a pussy and therefore you won't like him.

[Wakeup]

So if he doesn't call then either he doesn't like you, or he does but is somehow a pussy and therefore you won't like him.

Quoted for truth.

[gina mantis]

Thanks very much to everyone for their heartfelt replies. I think I'm going to send him a message, and whether or not he likes me will be for the better. I have a very deterministic view on life and relationships anyway (the kind that imply that two people are "meant to be") --that being said, I hope what's meant to happen will happen. Thanks again!

[Wakeup]

Let us know how it works out...