The pitfalls of mixing business with pleasure

[Justice League]

Greetings,

One topic which I’d like to discuss relates to ‘mixing business with pleasure’ and whether it is a good or bad idea. I ask this because recently I have become attracted to someone and this may be an issue. The woman in question is not a work colleague but rather a recruitment consultant. I first met her about two months ago when we had a meeting ahead of an interview I was about to have (unsuccessful unfortunately). Certainly I felt attracted to her and this has increased since our initial meeting. Whether she has any romantic attraction for me I do not know. Over the past while alot of emails have been going back and forth on job related matters as I continue my search for a new position. As I referred to above I find her very attractive and want to ask her out on a date but I wonder if it is the wrong time to do so considering we have a ‘professional relationship’ at present. So I’m wondering if anybody here has experience of something like this or has any thoughts to offer ?? Thanks.

Justice League

[VincenzoG91]

It's a tough job market out there, in almost every field. Don't do anything to damage your professional reputation, especially with a recruiter. Bear in mind that her line of work requires her to communicate a lot and to be good at small talk and basic social interaction. Don't mistake that for anything more without a really clear signal. Don't be lazy, try to meet women that aren't involved with your career path, because that would be most women, regardless of your career.

[Bonfire]

My business is pleasure. Job to me is just a job. I can't stand staying in the same job for too long. I rather meet someone amazing at work than have to go searching for them out there at some venue. It's easier that way.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Tough call. I entered a relationship with someone at work based on two things. I fully expected to be out of there in a timely fashion, and I fully expected it to last long after both of us had moved on from that job. Well I'm still there and we're not together so now I find myself avoiding her at all possible lengths at work or am forced to be reminded of the heartbreak I've endured by her. At least she isn't nasty to me so I have some advantage over how bad it could be...

[lisa2011]

Not a good very idea. First of all are the sexual harrassment laws. But if she's not a colleague, just a recruiter and you won't be working together, maybe that's different. Do it!

[devonbrown]

A human resources/recruitment friend of mine likes to tell this story:

She brought an employee into her office to let him know that he was being fired from his current position, but suggested applying for a contracting opportunity coming up later in the year. He freaked out about losing his job, basically ranting and raving. After settling down, she was able to go over all the legal and professional matters with him. He left the office, but came back the next day to pick up his stuff. He came into her office and told her that he always thought she was attractive and would she like to go out with him. She just smiled and said she doesn't date men that don't have a job.

Moral of the story - keep your professional relationship with her professional at least until you have your feet underneath you. Only then would I consider asking her out.

Good luck.

[Bonfire]

Moral of the story - keep your professional relationship with her professional at least until you have your feet underneath you. Only then would I consider asking her out.

Good luck.

To me, the moral of the story was he instantly found out she was materialistic and save himself a lot of wasted time. Like my cousin once said if he ever gets rich and a woman falls in loves with him, he would never know for sure if she loves him or his money. At least if you had nothing to offer other than yourself, you have no doubt.

[Justice League]

A human resources/recruitment friend of mine likes to tell this story:

She brought an employee into her office to let him know that he was being fired from his current position, but suggested applying for a contracting opportunity coming up later in the year. He freaked out about losing his job, basically ranting and raving. After settling down, she was able to go over all the legal and professional matters with him. He left the office, but came back the next day to pick up his stuff. He came into her office and told her that he always thought she was attractive and would she like to go out with him. She just smiled and said she doesn't date men that don't have a job.

Moral of the story - keep your professional relationship with her professional at least until you have your feet underneath you. Only then would I consider asking her out.

Good luck.

I was always a bit wary of making any sort of move on her until my job situation is resolved. Now is probably not the right time.Of course I haven't a clue whether she would even want to go out on a date with me anyway !

[abn25]

I don't think you'd be crossing any line at this point. If you never got the position its probably fine to ask her out, but I wouldnt flirt I would just ask point blank if you do. You may want to seriously think about any awkwardness though if you really want a different position that she's helping you with, otherwise you may come out with something better than some stupid job you didnt get...lol

[OmnicronPercei8]

Like my cousin once said if he ever gets rich and a woman falls in loves with him, he would never know for sure if she loves him or his money. At least if you had nothing to offer other than yourself, you have no doubt.

Yep that's one nice thing about being broke. I know the women I date aren't in to me for the money! Hahaha

[Justice League]

Sadly I don't think this will be going any further. I think she may have a boyfriend. Ah well not to worry !

[steviej]

If you get a job, ask her to come for a celebratory drink! If she turns you down, so what! You have a job and don't need to see her again ;-)