a little help please

[Kossuth]

i moved this to the dumping forum... maybe that's more appropriate

I'm gonna make this short and sweet, since i don't feel like typing much.

I'm in love with a girl.

We dated for 2 years, living together for a year of that. we were happy and we treated each other very well... we're a good match. her strengths are my weaknesses and my strengths are her weaknesses. we really helped each other grow as individuals.
We both openly talked about our future together, and thought that we would get maried.

but then one day I came home to her and she told me that she wanted to break up. she said that she wanted her independence so she could be by herself and live an independent life. she had never lived by herself, she moved out of her parents house and in with me right after high school( she's 20 btw... I'm 23).
I could understand this, and I was supportive. I want her to grow as an individual and to truly know herself, so we parted ways as friends, but we both promised that we would be together again.

We continued to see each other a lot after we broke up, but that slowly ended and we haven't talked much in teh lst 3 months.

we had a serious discussion about our relationship last night... she just showed up at my house and apologized for how cruel she's been to me over the last week or two ( that's another story). we made love and talked about our future. she said that she didn't want to even think about dating me until she finished college (one more year of undergrad then 2 of masters) and she said she wants to see other people.

I have lived a fuller life than most people my age and I know that she's probably the best potential mate that I will ever meet. I am deeply in love with her and my two greatest fears are that we won't ever get back together or that anything might hurt her. I don't ever want to be with anyone else, and I don't think that I could stand her being in a relationship with someone else. I believe deeply in monogamy and the thought of her in bed with someone else makes my stomach turn and I don't know if I could ever be with her again after something like that.

I don't know what to do... should I just give up on her or what. Most the people who know us think that we will get back together, but I just don't know.

That's the condensed version.

[Ericka]

I was involved with someone , who I truly believe is my soul mate, we talked about marriage, we even started the wedding preparations... the thing is three month ago he broke up with me..... he says he still loves me and I do too. he states he is confused, that he can't imagine not having me in his life....
there is a part of me that says I should fight for what I want, but love isn't about fighting , it's about love, understanding , acceptance,about growing just like you mentioned. If it is meant to be it will be, the only thing I can tell you is .yes, it hurts, it hurts like hell but now is the time for you to focus on yourself,ask yourself why the need to hold on to her, why the codependency maybe you feel she is your potential mate but what do you know if there is someone out there besides her who is the one? you might have lived a fuller life than most people your age but you still have lots of more to live and believe me when you get to my age (35) you'll see what I mean, in the meantime do something that will keep you occupy and will not let you think about the situation. o.k.

[gsgann22]

ditto your story sounds like mine, wedding plans, the the girl suddenly breaks it off, saying she needs her space. She is trying to use you do not let her she is going to see other guys and if none of them are to her liking then come back to you. you cannot stand by and let her do this, she may never come back to you then what? go out meet some people date live your life you may be suprised and find someone that not only replaces her but is even better (BTW do yourself a favor and DONOT compare other girls with your ex, they say hindsight is 20/20 but it isnt we tend to glamorize the past, take notes of some of the bad things to review when you are depressed). Live your life and if you and her are meant to be things will work out. GOOD-LUCK

[D'Artagnan]

if you really love her, wait. it sounds like she wants her freedom, which is understandable. waiting is hard, as i'm sure you know, it depends on how much she is worth to you. on the other hand, you could end up waiting on disappointment. i say live your life, have fun, see other people, let the time pass. if you two were "meant to be" you'll get together in the future.