Why is he hitting on me.....

[Riku]

Ok, I'm really confused and this is making things harder for me. Bf and I broke up on Friday, we were dating for 6 months, exclusive/bf/gf for the past 3. There were incidents with other friends of his while we were going out and the subject of dating ex's had come up and he was very adamant that it was a dick move and he would flip out if any of his friends did that to him. Out of all of his friends there is one that he trusts the most and I would have agreed with that until today...

I told my ex-bf Friday that I would rather have his friend give me my things rather than him because I have no desire to ever see him again. I picked his best friend because I know we both trust him completely. So I messaged his friend on FB and we exchanged numbers to set up a time to meet for me to get my things. He has been texting and flirting with me ALL day. I am extremely confused by this, I never would have thought this guy would be doing this. He was even suggesting coming to see me tonight and he lives over an hour away.

My only conclusion is that he is either trying to take advantage of me given the situation or my ex was an even bigger douchebag and did something behind my back terrible enough for his best friend not to care about going after me. Or is there some other explanation for this? I know it may seem irrelevant but if it is because my bf had cheated on me or something terrible I really want to know that, maybe out of morbid curiosity but also because I think he is going to regret this and try to come get me back later.

So I guess my question is...what are the reasons you would ever consider going after one of your friends ex's, especially so soon after the break up?

[VincenzoG91]

Compared to women, most guys are practically obsessed with sex. There is nothing mysterious about this best friend's actions, just disappointing. I personally wouldn't go after my best friend's ex-girlfriend... unless she was hot and I thought that I had a shot. No, I probably still wouldn't do it.

[Red Apollo]

He thinks you are hot and wants to hit that. Its pretty much all there is to it. I wouldn't do it to my best friend or really any friend for that matter, unless I barely knew them or something. Unfortunately, not all guys share that same mindset.

[Riku]

I guess I'm just over thinking his reasoning, which is nothing new for me lol. I'm really dissapointed in him that's for sure.

[Wakeup]

Maybe your ex and his best friend are setting you up? A "shit test" if you will.

Since your ex is against his friends dating his exs:

the subject of dating ex's had come up and he was very adamant that it was a dick move and he would flip out if any of his friends did that to him.

and then you asked one of his friend to deliver your stuff, maybe they are seeing if you would accept the advances of his friend? If you'd do that knowing how much he (your ex) is against it.

I wonder why you didn't ask one of YOUR friends to collect your stuff and leave his friends out of it?

[surfhb]

Maybe your ex and his best friend are setting you up? A "shit test" if you will.

Since your ex is against his friends dating his exs: and then you asked one of his friend to deliver your stuff, maybe they are seeing if you would accept the advances of his friend? If you'd do that knowing how much he (your ex) is against it.

I wonder why you didn't ask one of YOUR friends to collect your stuff and leave his friends out of it?

Guys dont pull shit tests

Theres never an excuse to hit on a friends ex behind thier back....no way...never!!!! The only exception would be if you were friends first.

[leoben]

What do you mean incidents with other friends? They would hit on you while you were dating you're boyfriend?

I'll admit I dated a friend's ex for a while, not something I'm terribly proud of. We had a cordial relationship while they were going out and it never crossed my mind, but after they broke up she came on strong and it just happened. I think that if he wants to be with you he will just rationalize it no matter what, it would have nothing to do with anything your ex did while you were dating. That's how guys are.

[maxmax]

I personally wouldn't go after my best friend's ex-girlfriend... unless she was hot and I thought that I had a shot.

LOL ... so you would ;o)

[Ugly_Idiot]

He's not a real friend to your ex that's for sure.

But yea, he's horny and wants to stick it in. Simple.

[MaidenMinx]

Surfhb, some guys do pull shit tests. And I think this sounds like one.

[Riku]

None of my friends know him or the area where he lives so I wouldn't have asked them. All of our time spent together was in his town and if he did come to see me (rarely--reason 1 we broke up) it was just us and we didn't hang out with my friends it was just us. But I did know all of his friends pretty well and felt comfortable asking him. My best friend thinks it's a "shit test" but I don't know about that.

The reason I said incidents have happened is because one of their guy friends died and a month later a friend of theirs was sleeping with the deceased guys gf. That same friend was then also trying to hook up with my bf's ex. So the topic came up about what a dick this guy was and how none of them could trust him..and this conversation took place with me there, my bf and said friend that is hitting on me. They all seemed genuinely put off by the act so it's why I'm thinking my ex must have cheated on me or done something really bad to have his friend not caring.

I asked him flat out last night through texting why he was talking to me like that because it seemed odd and he said quote: "I thought u were pretty first time i saw you and thought, what you doin with him...he's a very good friend but I don't like how he treats women"

Oh well...I'm not gonna do anything with his friend I'm just thinking too much about what this has to do with my ex. In reality I just need to stop thinking about all of them.

[Wakeup]

Guys dont pull shit tests

Theres never an excuse to hit on a friends ex behind thier back....no way...never!!!! The only exception would be if you were friends first.

Oh, men certainly do pull shit tests.. I just read a thread where the guy set his gf up by getting his friend to pretend that he was someone else while he hit on her dating profile. She failed.

So ...

In reality I just need to stop thinking about all of them.

Good move, Op.

[Gratedwasabi]

I asked him flat out last night through texting why he was talking to me like that because it seemed odd and he said quote: "I thought u were pretty first time i saw you and thought, what you doin with him...he's a very good friend but I don't like how he treats women

Translation: "You're hot and probably vulnerable, just my type. Friend who?"

[oldskool83]

Friends ex are a hard things. i was in the situation where i ended my friendship with my best friend but continued to talk to his ex gf. we were friends before and he went out and cheated on her with about 4 or 5 different people. now a year later im like best friends with him again and she ran into me eating out one night and invited herself to my house for when i have bon fires...

the friends ex can just lead into a messy situation i think, but it would depend on both people posibly knowing.

[surfhb]

Surfhb, some guys do pull shit tests. And I think this sounds like one.

Sorry.... Just have been clearer. I meant mature guys who arent in high school and/or have a set of balls

Any man who would try to set up a gf to test her fidelity.... Not to mention the bastard friend who helps out, iis a complete sack of shit !