My ex boyfriend has already slept with somebody else, I dont know how to cope..

[steph420]

We've been together for almost 4 years and he decided to have a break with me around a month ago which resulted in him elaving me around 2 weeks ago. He's been at university since september and i'm still at home so it's been really hard for me, esp beacuse I knew that this was going to happen at some point.

When I accidently logged into his facebook after he initialised this 'break' he was talking to some girl. Today I just found out through one of his friends that he has slept with someone else. So I slowly dropped the bomb and asked him whats been going on. At first he refused to answer my question and told me that it wasn't true, so he was basically lying/trying to keep this sitation away from me. Couple of texts later he admitted he slept with this girl he was talking to on fb..which I knew was gonig to happen co-incidentally, the second i read those messages. I know he did it to avoid me from being hurt but he should of had the brains to know it's gonna hurt me either way. I dont know if he's doing it to keep me being friends with him or what because we started to talk again, i've been grieving over this for so long, i've been trying to get myself over him, going out, doing things i like doing, meeting other guys, but my brain just flicks back to him, I'm so crazy for him, I feel so confused and hurt and I dont know where to turn to..

Also I feel extremely lonely right now, masturbating has gone beyond its point..lol. I can't see him until 2 weeks time when he heads home but I feel so freaking horny and alone... and now that I know he's slept with someone it seems a bit off putting to ask him if he's up for some fun.

I mean, the last time we broke up which was during the 1st year of our relationship I slept with another guy who i was seeing for quite a while, he slept with some girl for revenge. Even to this day he kept going on about how much it hurt him. And today he behaved so casually about sleeping with this girl, I was so shocked how he handled this situation, he tried to hide it all up and avoid this conversation. He kept going on about how he wants to be there for me and he loves me 'as a friend' but i just cant seem to accept it, but he keeps telling me how hes the only person who knows me better than anyone. I want to be there for him but I dont, I just cant make up my mind. I really want him back but so much damage has been dealt with... i have no idea what's going to happen next.

There's so much that's happened between us it would take forever for me to explain but you get the jist of whats happened. I just need ur honest opinions because everyones telling me to just leave it and move on but all I can think about is how crazy I am over this guy.

[Wakeup]

Also I feel extremely lonely right now, masturbating has gone beyond its point..lol. I can't see him until 2 weeks time when he heads home but I feel so freaking horny and alone... and now that I know he's slept with someone it seems a bit off putting to ask him if he's up for some fun.

Do you realize how sad and pathetic that makes you sound? I don't mean to smack you upside the head with some old age wisdom but NO self-repescting woman would allow herself to fk a guy who gave her up for some other woman.

Go zero contact and give yourself sometime to heal before you start dating again. If you don't you're going to miss the good potential in some guy if you're heart and brain is focusing on your ex instead of the cute guy who's trying to woo you.

You said you knew this day was coming so accept that it's here and don't let this guy have fun with you sexually for the summer and then go back and start screwing Miss FB during the school year. You're worth better than that type of treatment.

Don't have a casual relationship with someone you already have more than casual feelings for.. It will steal your joy and will screw with your ego when you realize the your vagina won't secure you a full blown, committed and monogamous relationship.

Stay away form him, go zero contact. If he wants you he'll contact you. When/if he does make sure you're on the same page as each other. It will wreck you if you aren't.

Sorry you're hurting.

[Windmillback]

Completely agree with "Wakeup", you're in a terrible hurtfull place and we have empathy for you, we've all been there. What "Wakeup" wrote is so tha last thing you want to hear right now and it is so what you need to do.