why did she do this to me?

[NachoLibre]

Hi everyone im new here...

Im in the UK...I met this girl in an online forum back in september 2006. Shes in seattle. Were both muslims and Its important to understand that as muslims were not allowed to meet eachother in real before marriage.

It was amazing..I liked her like crazy back then i was 21 and she was 18. We kept on talking for like a few months untill she got engaged to another guy. I was distraught and devestated...but I didnt hate her I always knew it wont work out with her since I only met her online.

For like 2 years we didnt talk...but during this time...all i could do was think about her...I met other girls but its wierd...she was always on my mind.

Back 2 years ago...I was told that she broke off her 2 year long engagement and we started talking again as freinds online. I was happy but at the same time sad she had to go through such a terrible ordeal with her ex. Stupidly of me..only after 2 weeks of talking with her on msn...I did the dumbest thing any man could do to a girl who broke of from a potential marriage. I sent her a love poem.

She was so happy at first and she seemed excited. Then suddenly..literally after just 2 or 3 weeks...I talk to her on msn then she delivers the first blow to my chest she tells me ''im sorry im not in a mood to talk with you now''

I was shocked by that so much I couldnt beleive it.

Then for like a year...It was all like a cat and mouse game. I kept on telling her I love her, she would seem unsure like sometimes shes encouraging me and sometimes she seemed annoyed with me.

Untill like last October...we got into a huge fight...i mean HUGE. I was so pissed off with her that I started calling her stupid to her friend behind her back. I was pissed off with her because she wasnt giving me a straight answer. She was being too ambigious.

Since that fight we talked as freinds only untill she told me she loved another guy with ''all her heart'' that destroyed me and she knew it.

Untill finally I got the answer out of her..she finally told me that she has been lying to me for like a year or so and shes really been in love with this other guy and shes been delibretly trying to hurt me so i can hate her so i could leave her alone.

Im angry at her...I dont think ill stop being angry at her for treating me like that...but I still love her like crazy. We havnt talked in ages...I send her the occasional email which she replies to mostly but only breifly.

I cant stop thinking about her...I still cry about her sometimes and I dont know what to do.

[JadenMia]

I just dont understand how someone can fall in love with someone, without even meeting them. Its like a fantasy..

You have to drop this imagination. If she doesnt want to talk to you on msn, then big deal. Go add another girl.

[IndiReloaded]

I did the dumbest thing any man could do to a girl who broke of from a potential marriage. I sent her a love poem.

She was so happy at first and she seemed excited. Then suddenly..literally after just 2 or 3 weeks...I talk to her on msn then she delivers the first blow to my chest she tells me ''im sorry im not in a mood to talk with you now''

I was shocked by that so much I couldnt beleive it.

I cant stop thinking about her...I still cry about her sometimes and I dont know what to do.

Poor guy. Girls can be nuts at her age, and you've fallen for one. But yes, unless you are SURE of the person you are sending a love letter to, the general rule is: DON'T. Its just as terrifying to be on the receiving end of those letters as it is to send one.

It sounds like she's not into you. You sound like a very nice fellow who should find a girl who will appreciate your tender awesomeness. I hope you find her soon.

[KelE]

I'd say learn from this pattern in your life right now of creating a fantasy of a person. You have developed such strong feelings for the idea of what this women is, not with the real person. I think it would help you to figure out a completely different way to meet a person that is in real life, in person. I think if you keep meeting someone as a hypothetical person, you will not be open to meet a person that could really work out for you. I would be willing to bet that you have passed up chances to meet people because of being hung up on this girl and there may have been missed opportunities for you.

[NachoLibre]

Thanks for the responses.

Meeting a girl online is the only viable option I have (As a muslim). The same thing with her.

I dont know...I am just hurt that she lied to me for so long and I still love her...though everyone here seems to think its not really love?

I dont know...Shes in seattle im in the UK. She even encouraged me once to go to seattle to meet her. I dont know...I cant stop thinking about her

Now shes just giving me the silent treatment and its enraging me...I want her broken but I also want her to be so happy.

[Layna]

First of all, you can very well fall in love over the internet, at least more realistically if you add voice/video chat. Of course whether or not that translates to real life is always a different question, but it is possible to develop very intense feelings for somebody online, and that is not just fantasy.

That said, NachoLibre, I was in a sort of similar place once. It wasn't outright love or anything, it was a very intense confusing friendship gone wrong, but she also p*ssed me off on purpose like you wouldn't believe and then deleted me from the chat in order to give me the silent treatment. It was hard at first, very hard, but I was also angry like you are. Two months later she added me again, and this time I blocked her. I was too angry, never wanted anything to do with her again and at that point I could not have cared less what happened to her. In the more than two years since then, I have thought about her only a handful of times, and always only with a grateful feeling that I left that behind and don't have to deal with her.

It's difficult now, but remember she did everything in her power to hurt you, and on purpose. I don't say this to hurt you even more, only to realise that a person who can do this to you is not worth one more thought.

[Riku]

So how did muslims meet each other before the internet then?